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Human Papillomavirus (HPV) Message Board

Married 22 years and HPV is back

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Old 06-27-2012, 12:46 AM   #1
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: *******, Ga USA
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married22years HB User
Unhappy Married 22 years and HPV is back

My wife and I have been married for 22 years and yesterday marks the third time in 22 years to come back with bad results. I have been faithful and I know my wife has been faithful. I have read many many post's tonight and have read many stories similar but not exactly like our story. HPV the nightmare that never seems to go away. My wife is educated and extremely smart yet after 22 years pulled me aside today to ask if I had been unfaithful. It breaks my heart that she even asked me the question but if I were in her shoes and looking at a possible removal of her cervix because there is not much left after two previous surgeries from bad HPV results. Some post say after HPV shows up the body fights off the virus and although it stays with you for life it should not appear again. Other post say that it is just another strain that comes back. It's to the point that my wife thinks I am being unfaithful, how else could she come back with a bad pap after 22 years. I told her today we should both go and do a lie detector test. I am more in love with my wife now after 22 years than I was the day we married but this damn HPV could be the end of us. Now to my question. What kind of doctor can we go to and get the facts on HPV to answer how after 22 years of a faithful marriage she is showing HPV again. Her Gyno clearly is the wrong one to go to. His question to her was if she knew how she got reinfected. Is there a specialty doctor that knows about HPV that could consult with us and set her mind at ease. We live north of Atlanta and you would think someone here has some knowledge about HPV........

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Old 06-27-2012, 02:00 AM   #2
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Finchesca HB UserFinchesca HB User
Re: Married 22 years and HPV is back

Here's what I'm thinking. Usually when HPV affects a woman she is treated, but the guy is not because often he has no visible symptoms. Were you ever treated? You might be carrying it invisibly and occasionally reinfecting her when her immune system is down or circumstances just conspire.

Perhaps you could get the doc to give you a more thorough check, in case there's a lurker! That would actually be good news; it's harder to know what to do if there's nothing to be found, inside or out. Also get them to check your hands/fingers/mouth, as HPV can hang out anywhere.

Here's some info: ("Most men who get HPV never develop any symptoms or health problems...")

Old 06-27-2012, 02:05 AM   #3
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Re: Married 22 years and HPV is back

Oh, also, there's very good reason to suspect that HPV is just associated with an unhealthy cervical environment, rather than a sole or direct cause of it. That is, it's a free-rider, an opportunist, blossoming when thing are not going well there for other reasons, like a candida infection or pre-cancer.

Not many doctors will have been taught this, but I saw some excellent data that were very strongly suggestive of this.

Old 07-29-2012, 08:25 AM   #4
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: USA
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Serenityisbliss HB User
Re: Married 22 years and HPV is back

Some doctors think that once you are infected that it's with you for life... I support this theory as well. I know that your immune system can fight it off but there is no actual proof that it competely removes the virus. meaning it's just lying dormant. some people only ever have 1 outbreak. Others have recuring... wether it's 3 times in 22 years or 40 times in 10 years. Also some people have treatment resistant HPV, the doctor treats and yet the warts stay. there are about 30 strains that effect the genitals.

When my husband had one show up his doctor removed it and said "it's just a flat wart, nothing to worry about"
later I had 2 pop up. went to the OBGYN I was about 3 months pregnant with our 2nd Daughter at the time. He said "well pregnancy hormones are going crazy and that's most likely why you had them pop up now.. because you didn't have an outbreak before. You shouldn't see them unless you get pregnant again but that's not even a guarentee, you may never see them again."

So with that being said.. there is a few types that cause cervical cancer. If you have type 16 you can not get reinfected with type 16. Thats it.. you have it. But you can have type 16 and get type 18. which would mean that there would have to be a "new introduction" of the virus. What I believe is going on is that your wife has a recuring one..

Personally I didn't accuse my husband of cheating when his popped up and I knew nothing about HPV... when I had some pop up even the OBGYN said that it does not mean that he cheated. Since his showed up first and I never had an abnormal pap... We "assume" he had it first (he also gets a wart here or there on his hands but they can't spread to down there)

The truth is that HPV can show up 2-3 months after you are infected with it... but HPV also has this uncanny ability to lay dormant for however long it wants. Some people have it and never know (meaning I could have had it first, given it to my husband, and he had the first symptom. then because he had an active one.. and you can guess how that was found.. Since there was skin to skin contact and my hormones were going nuts because I was pregnant it triggered one to pop up) but that's just one theory.. the other is that he could have had it first. Ether way we both have it now and hopefully it will never pop up again.

The doctor also said that there is no way to know which partner you got it from. Some outbreaks are soo small you can't see them unless the doctor uses a magnifier.
With that being said your first partner could have given it to you and you would have never known because you wouldn't have seen them... the types that cause warts DO NOT cause cancer. Therefore you can't tell who has it and who doesn't. You might not have never given it to your wife... She might have had it since her first partner or anyone in between (that's not meant to start trouble) Then again You could have had it from your first partner or anyone in between. This is all what My OBGYN had told Me and my husband. There is also a test they can do to find out what strain you have. Although it can not determine wether it will be recurant or not because that depends on the individual. But if she only has one strain then the air should be cleared of accusations.. then again there is always the chance that ether of you could have had 2 strains to begin with (ether one of you had 2 strains or you each had 1) It really shouldn't matter. Unless an affair has happened in the past the subject should never come up when it comes to HPV there are just too many possibilities without the thought of an affair.

Now I can say that the thought of "did you cheat" came into my head when it happened to us. So I can sympathize with your wife. because I can only imagine having a high risk strain and it recuring and "wondering why does it keep coming back?" and that question will lead any destraught person to the other question..

I hope the information helps and I wish you both the best.. Tell your Wife to Hang in there

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