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Discrepancies and The Feeling My Life is Over...

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Old 12-29-2012, 10:16 PM   #1
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: U.S.
Posts: 335
tattoogirly HB Usertattoogirly HB Usertattoogirly HB Usertattoogirly HB Usertattoogirly HB Usertattoogirly HB Usertattoogirly HB User
Discrepancies and The Feeling My Life is Over...

Hi there. I found out I have high-risk HPV in the summer. I got tested right after my bf and I found a wart on his groin area. He had it removed and then got a few more, removed them and has been wart free ever since. When I was tested for HPV, I did not come back positive for the strains that generally cause warts. Well, a month or so later, I feel a growth on my skin, right in the panty line. I go to my gyno and she says it could easily be a skin tag (it looked just like one), but then she says there is another one. She says, "Unfortunately this is HPV, but fortunately it is easily treatable". She then goes on to say she will still send the skin to the lab to make sure. I almost told her forget it, but thought, "Why the heck not?" Well, a week later, I get a message on my phone from my gyno and she says it is NOT HPV and everything came back negative. What the heck? I feel relieved, but quickly realize, I am still HPV positive, as I have the high-risk strain. Well, since I have noticed a couple more growths in pretty much the same area, the panty line. There is one on each side. They feel exactly like skin tags. I have quite a few skin tags all over my body. How much of a coincidence is it that I have an "outbreak" of skin tags shortly after my bf gets warts? I am going to go to my gyno again and have her remove them and test them again. I don't get it...
Meanwhile, my life has fallen apart. Things are not going well with my bf and to be honest, I am not happy with him. I fear a part of me is staying with him because we both have HPV. I am terrified of the thought of dating with HPV. Dating is hard even without a freakin STD! But, I can't stay with someone who is not making me happy, just because we share a virus. That sounds like a pretty bleak life...
Here is the part where the discrepancies I am coming up with lie. My gyno told me that once the warts have been removed and no more growths appear I should wait a month and then it should be "safe" ("safe" being a relative word, as nothing in medicine can be deemed "safe") to engage in sex, even unprotected oral sex. This was good news to me, as she seemed very optimistic about my having a healthy sex life. She said that warts can grow in the throat, but generally you have to perform oral sex on someone who has visible warts. What about the tiny-you-can't-see-with-the-naked-eye-warts? What if he has warts still but we can't see them? I have performed oral on my bf once in almost 6 months. That used to be my favorite way we could be close and now it is pretty much obsolete. I haven't allowed him near my parts with his mouth as he has coldsores and I read somewhere that the virus can shed even without a coldsore (yet my doc says this is not true). What is true?? Now, how about this one...I have high-risk HPV which is a strain of the virus that can cause cervical cancer. Do the same "rules" apply with this strain? How can they? With high-risk, there are no visible symptoms, so how do you know when it is safe to be sexual?? Is it NEVER safe? I would never have known I even have this virus, but for the test I specifically requested that is NOT done on a routine basis. Am I basically a walking virus forever? Many doctors (including mine) says you can clear the virus within 2 years. Does this mean all strains and does this mean you are safe to engage in sexual acts?

I am so lost and feel like my life is over. I feel diseased and gross. When I see my 3 year old cousin and we have to share the same bathroom, I have this intense fear I will give her HPV. What is more, I have noticed that some of the bumps on my face I have had for some time (some new, however) look like flat warts, but that never dawned on me until now. Are these related? Can I spread this crap when people share drinks with me or touch my face?

I feel nasty...Any thoughts?

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Old 01-05-2013, 09:39 AM   #2
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 7
meeo12 HB User
Re: Discrepancies and The Feeling My Life is Over...

Yikes! Girl, you need to take a deep breath and calm down. Listen up. First of all, the skin tags you have in the corner of your groins are mostly likely just that. Skin tags appear in sites of maximal friction, and the pantyline is just the place where many would form. I have had tiny ones myself in the past. Very common and normal. Not HPV. As for your concerns about oral HPV, while papillomas (oral warts) can develop following oral sex with an infected partner, oral warts are generally incredibly, incredibly rare. Now, some people have developed them in the past, but this is generally quite uncommon.

The genitals strains have a proclivity for infecting the genital area, not the oral cavity, hence their rarity in that particular location. Now, onto the high risk questions. High risk strains are typically the most common strains of HPV. Also, HPV is a fact of life. Every sexually active individual, save for the rare instance of two virgins getting together and remaining together for the rest of their lives, will become exposed to, and likely contract HPV. Because the high risk strains are the most common, nearly everyone is going to contract one strain of this type at some point or another. The good news is that yes, the rarely cause symptoms. Don't let people scare you about cancer. Even with a high risk infection, your odds of developing cervical cancer, etc are pretty much slim-to-none. Especially when you get routine, annual pap smears to monitor the infection. It's really nothing to worry about. And generally yes, most people clear the virus within 2 years. The high risk strains usually take about this long, but you will not be "a walking virus" forever. The body eventually suppresses the infection to levels that are undetectable by even the most sensitive diagnostic tests, like PCR.

Here is the deal. You can't change the fact that you have HPV, but you CAN change the way you think about it. The only reason you feel bad is because a few strains of an extremely common virus have been heavily stigmatized by society. This is ridiculous. When one considers that this virus is essentially ubiquitous, that doesn't seem very fair, does it? You are not a walking biohazard. Many people (most people) will contract this virus at some point in time. Welcome to the club. It's a normal part of being sexually axtive. Furthermore, genital strains of HPV do not transfer to other cutaneous locations, like the face, etc. So sharing a bathroom with your cousin presents absolutely NO risk of infection, and you did NOT transmit your infection to his face.

Old 01-18-2013, 05:13 PM   #3
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 3
ennovy1318 HB User
Re: Discrepancies and The Feeling My Life is Over...

Question for meeo12: Where did you get your info? Everything I have read says that one cannot get rid of the virus. And what do tell a new partner? I definitely would have remained celibate if I knew I would get this. I went 6 years w/o sex and then I get it. UGH. If I were a man, I wouldn't want to have sex with me. I'm older and it's not as common in older people as younger ones.

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