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Incontinence - help please

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Old 02-14-2008, 03:19 AM   #1
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Unhappy Incontinence - help please

I have noticed this last week that Mum has been going to the toilet a lot more than usual, but when I get her onto the toilet she has already starting to wet herself. Today was really bad as she had wet through her pad, underclothes and shorts. I also noticed that her bowels open a little bit when I out her on the toilet and I don't think she realises this is happening too.

Today when I showered her I noticed some "poo" when I was drying her. I got a warm cloth and gave her another wash and it seemed to be at the entrance of her bottom and she doesn't push to get it out. It wasn't hard so she wouldn't have any trouble.

Does it sound like Mum is becoming incontinent? I hope not because I don't know how I would be able to handle it, I heaved today when I was cleaning her. I know I will have to get her depends now instead of the pads, but how did you people handle this stage?

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Old 02-14-2008, 03:29 AM   #2
Martha H
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Re: Incontinence - help please

My mother had the same symptoms, and it was a great struggle for me. She refused to accept that she needed any help. Sometimes she stank. This was when we were still living together. If I tried to gently nudge her to the shower, she maintained that she had 'just showered". She began to hide soiled underpants in a bedroom drawer. She still flatly refused to wear the Depends I had bought.

It was never adequately solved until she had to go to the NH after breaking her hip. There she was put in Depends and no questions asked. She never regained continence. It is part of Alzheimer's. One loses control over that function.

I feel sorry for you. This was one of the things that drove me up walls. My mother had been VERY clean .. spotless house, perfectly matched and flawlessly clean cothing .. then she was sitting around in smelly undies, unmatched clothing, stained blouses .. and every time it was a battle because she refused to accept my help, or even that anything needed to be done.

You really may want to start thinking about some kind of faciity for your Mom.



Old 02-14-2008, 07:00 AM   #3
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Re: Incontinence - help please

I'm so sorry you are going through this with your Mom. It seems all of us here have had the same experiences. My Mom sounds like Marthas' Mom. Very clean lady. Always looking just so in her matching outfits. Her home was spotless. Just like it was when we were growing up.

It took about two years before Mom finally agreed to wear the depends. Even after she went all over a restaurant bathroom. When she didn't come back to our table I went looking for her. It was unbelieveable what I found. It was all over Mom the walls, toilet, sink and her clothes. I still can't believe I cleaned that up. This was a place we went to all of the time. I couldn't leave it there. Mom never mentioned it after we got home. She didn't want to talk about it, ever. She forgot. Boy, I sure didn't. Even now I can see the mess and the look of horror on Moms face. All she could say was "help me"

After she went to live in AL she agreed to wear depends. I had to tell her she could not stay there if she messed all over the carpet. I hate to threaten my Mom. Our roles are reversed. Mom just doesn't know it.
I think Martha is right. Maybe you should start thinking about some kind of facility for your Mom. I just couldn't keep cleaning her up. I know my limitations and thats one of them. Good luck. I'll be thinking of you.

Old 02-14-2008, 11:22 AM   #4
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Re: Incontinence - help please

I would try and get a urine sample and get her checked for a UTI (Urinary Tract Infection) for starters. Frequent urination and 'accidents' are often the precurser for a UTI.

When my charge came home inbetween respite and being placed permanently (fortunately, only a short time) I made sure I had taken out EVERY SINGLE KIND of piece of underpants and replaced them with the pull up kind of pad.

She had NO CHOICE but to wear them. This is a trick nursing homes pull when a resident is placed early enough .......

sneaky? Yup
Tricky? Yup
Works? Most of the time

Last edited by gemini1961; 02-14-2008 at 11:23 AM.

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