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2fst 07-08-2005 02:29 PM

The World's Most Unhappy Baby
I think I gave birth to the most unhappiest baby. And I am going to go crazy. There are days I just don't know what to do. Basically every time he wakes, be it at night or from a nap, he wakes up screaming. And he will not stop until he gets a bottle. Even if he just ate an hour ago. We give him the bottle and if it is not feeding time he will just play with it. But we can't take it away because then he screams. Some times the pacifier will work but not always. He has a very hard time trying to figure out how to suck on it. But as time goes on and he is getting older I find myself getting more and more fusterated. I am home with this screaming baby who does not even care whether I love him or not. I love him so much but I find myself saying, SH or quiet or no crying all day. I feel like a broken record. Eventually I end up putting him down because I can't take it. I feel so bad for letting him cry but there is nothing I can do for him. I feel that if I let him cry and leave some where it is going to effect him badly when he is older. I don't want to establish a bad relationship with him but I feel like he doesn't want me to love him. I don't think it is colic because there are things that he enjoys and does not cry for. He loves to lay on his changing table. He also does not like his stroller but if you carry him facing outward outside so he can look around he is happy. And the other thing he loves is if Dh or I go in the tub with him and let him sit chest deep in water. He is content doing these things. And he is happy to have a bottle in his mouth. So I would doubt it is colic since those babies (I think) are crying in general. I just get so down and out. Everyone knows him as an unhappy baby already. Everyone else I know has these happy babies that are always smiling and cooing. Mine is a month old and does not smile. I think he is so unhappy that he won't. I try not to let these feelings on to him. DH and I never discuss him with other people when he is around. I know he doesn't understand yet but the I don't want him to feel the negative energy. I dread having people over, I can't take him anywhere. I love him so much but I just wish he would smile or somehow just be happy. It makes me so depressed.

sunnydayz05 07-08-2005 02:36 PM

Re: The World's Most Unhappy Baby
i wish i had some encouraging words to say to you, but my DS is a month old tomorrow and i am so clueless i wouldnt' be any help. thankfully i am living with my mom who knows what to do when i dont...he will sleep all day and be up all night, whichis hard because i can't sleeep during the in a way i know what frustration feels like. i'll tell you like my mom tels doesnt' stay like this will GET BETTER!

sweetpea333 07-08-2005 06:42 PM

Re: The World's Most Unhappy Baby
i can totally relate with you, 1 month old is really young he probably wont smile till 2 and a half... my daughter would cry the whole time she was awake until she was about 3 months old, the only thing she liked was the stroller or being carried back and forth, it is sooo frustrating, i used to think my baby hated me. but things eventually got better, and im sure they will for you too.

BioAdoptMom3 07-08-2005 08:35 PM

Re: The World's Most Unhappy Baby
Even though there are some things that calm him down, he could still have colic. It does truly sound like that is the case. I know it is frustrating for you because you want so much to make him happy and you can't. It is no personal reflection on you though. At one month old he can only express his needs and for some reason, he is either uncomfortable or irritable most of the time. It will get better! In the meantime I would strongly suggest that you get someone you trust to watch him, even if its only for an hour or two (the more the better) and get out either with your dh or alone. It really will do you a lot of good and make you an even better and more effective mom when you return. I cannot stress that enough! Caring for a newborn is hard work, you have raging hormones still I am sure and you need a break! It will do you both some good.


CUtigress 07-08-2005 09:48 PM

Re: The World's Most Unhappy Baby
I gotta say your story sounds eerily familiar. My daughter was born May 9 so she is just about 2 months old. She's getting better though. She cried ALL the time and it took forever to get her to sleep because she got herself so worked up. It's funny you mention the changing table, that's the only time she would calm down too. She's gotten a lot better in the last two weeks or so. She went on a 10-hour straight crying spell one time and we were so worried we took her to the doctor, who assured us it was just colic after a thorough exam. Sometimes we found she was gassy and the Mylicon drops helped occasionally; the best thing was to put her on my leg, chest down, and pat her bottom. But sometimes it isn't gas-related at all and she is just inconsolable. The last couple of weeks, the crying spells are a lot shorter and she's starting to smile. Give the cooing/smiling time, your son is still pretty young. I know it's frustrating, DH and I both got to tears several nights when she just wouldn't stop, and we'd take turns just getting out of the house to go on a walk or something because we couldn't take it. Don't feel guilty about putting your son down for short periods of time, you need some sanity!!! It DOES get better, and when your son does start to interact with you in a few more weeks with coos/smiles, you'll finally feel like you're making a difference.

kierrasmommy 07-08-2005 09:49 PM

Re: The World's Most Unhappy Baby
I am so sorry this has been such a rough ride already for you. Like everyone else said, it does get better. I would bring him to has pediatritian though, because although it may be colic, it could be other things as well. My best friend had to experiment with formulas until she found one that her little guy digested/tolerated well...he to was very irritable until she found the right one. But keep doing what you are doing by doing what seems to keep him calm, and don't feel guilty for letting him cry for a bit, if you are frustrated and can't figure out what the problem is, it's best to take a breather and go back to him in a few minutes...he can sense your frustrations so taking a quick breather may be a good thing for you both. Goodluck...
Geez, and I'm about ready to go through all this again. LOL

feelbad 07-09-2005 06:03 AM

Re: The World's Most Unhappy Baby
I agree that a trip to the pediatrician should be done for a full check up,WITH blood work.while most babies tend to cry alot, this seems to be just a little bit much.There could be some sort of medical reason for this.If at ANYTIME while raising a child, that you 'feel' something is just not 'right',please follow it up with a trip to the second son was wayy different from his older brother while growing up and when my unhappy,hard to make smile,second son turned 12, he was Dxed with a liver and kidney disease that he had had since birth but we just didn't know it.he ended up needing a liver Tx but is very happy now.Don't want to scare you,just inform you.Hopefully he will just grow out of this stage.

shelliam 07-09-2005 12:55 PM

Re: The World's Most Unhappy Baby
My DS started this right around when we started supplementing with formula. The dr gave us a soy formula that just didn't agree with him and I didn't realize thats what it was for weeks after trying what seemed like all of them my friend told me good start is what her ped. reccommeded. It was like I had a new baby he was great from then on so I instantly started my DD on it and I don't think it's working out but I am going to give it a little more time. Also my DS did not smile till about 7-8 weeks old so be patient and good luck.

2fst 07-09-2005 02:58 PM

Re: The World's Most Unhappy Baby
I am glad to hear that I am not the only one and that he is not supposed to be smiling yet. I have people telling me that he should be smiling by now and since he isn't I thought that he never would from being not happy. We did try changing formula which made him even more fussy. I have tried giving him Mylicon, which he loves the taste of and gets upset when it is gone. Just a few drops and he loves the stuff!! :rolleyes: Also my mom is always willing to watch him, however she believes babies cry when they are hungry, so she is really no help since all she does is feed him. DH and I take turns with him. And he did go one time for 11 hours of just fussing. But he can be crying and then lay him on the changing table and he is a whole other baby or if you put him the tub. I do have a dr appointment coming up so I will talk to him. Is colic heriditary? DH had it bad and so did my dad.

CUtigress 07-09-2005 03:09 PM

Re: The World's Most Unhappy Baby
Depends on who you ask as far as colic being hereditary - some folks say yes, some say no. My husband is one of four children and all but one of them had severe colic, and my daughter has it too. Definitely talk to the doctor and make sure that's what it is, but if he/she says your son is perfectly fine and just colicky, just hang in there. :)

Ralinda30 07-09-2005 05:23 PM

Re: The World's Most Unhappy Baby
Now, not to sound so negative...My DD is 18mo and she has been like this since birth....I know how you feel stressed, as so have I. This is my fourth child and none of my children have ever been this way..It is her way or now way..She hates the car has since birth, she will scream and through one of her fits. She gets mad if the kids get near her in one of Her moods!!!!I know this is awful to say and I love my daughter very much, but I really have not had the choice to enjoy her like I did the others when they were younger...Now don't get me wrong, she doesnt scream all the time, but when she does my stress level rises...I do hope it get's better for you..And, she has been to the doctor and she is perfect, they said this is her personality...I say she is arnory(sp) like my mother was,lol...Good luck,Ralinda

ladywolf789 07-09-2005 05:28 PM

Re: The World's Most Unhappy Baby

I feel for you! However I must say I had the worlds Most Unhappy baby. My now 12 year old son was miserable!! At his 6 week check up I asked if I could trade him in!!!! At 9 months when he started crawling. he would bang his head against the hardwood floor if he was upset about something! At 3 when he started finally started talking we thought thank goodness he could at least TELL us what was wrong all the time!! But no. He was just a miserable child. Still is to this day!!!! I have an older son, layed back and happy, and a younger one who always is smiling. But my middle son was just born serious and grumpy! We had him checked, double checked and checked again (blood, stool, x-ray...). Nothing. He is normal. Just miserable. I did find out however that I had a great-grandfather that was the same way! Perhaps he inherited a grumpy gene!!!
Good Luck to you. Remember everyone is different. Your child will smile and love you back eventually. Just relax, and please remember to love your child no matter what. Just get a really good babysitter! Or a really loud vaccum! lol

2fst 07-11-2005 05:15 AM

Re: The World's Most Unhappy Baby
ladywolf789 - I feel for YOU!! But maybe my DS did get the grumpies from somewhere.

Another thing, DH and I have noticed that if we do not answer to DS cries right away he gets very angry. We are always trying to tell the difference between his cries, maybe it would help, and he actually has an angry cry. He will be crying and then scream. He screws his face up and gets all red and screams. The other day he was doing this and DH put his knuckle in his mouth for him to suck and DS bit down on it with all his strength. This is not the first time he has done this. Can a baby really get angry or have anger in there, he is still so little for it? But he does it at times like when he can not latch on to his pacifier or if he isn't getting his bottle fast enough.

ladywolf789 07-11-2005 06:52 AM

Re: The World's Most Unhappy Baby
Perhaps your little one is sensitive to what is happening? Not sure of the studies, but if I'm not mistaken, newborns nerve endings are not quite connected yet. Thus they do feel pain, but not in the same way we do. Maybe some little ones do feel pain/discomfort more than others and therefore will react to it? Maybe his gums hurt, so he cries or bites, maybe he doesnt like a wet diaper, or its sitting uncomfortably on his bottom so he fusses. Heck if I now had to endure teething, growing, learning, ect the ways baby do so fast, I'd be grumpy too! lol Some babies and children AND adults are more sensitive than others to stimuli, pain..ect Who knows...dont you wish they came with an owners manual and the speech so they could let you know whats bothering them?
Have fun!

jessy28 07-11-2005 12:21 PM

Re: The World's Most Unhappy Baby
He is only a month old. It will get better. He has not even started to smile yet. My son, now 10 wks old, started waking up screaming all the time and never slept any stretch after about two weeks. I thought it was the formula or colic coming on or something. it was hard. My mom came in town and put him on his tummy while sleeping and my whole life has changed for the better. He sleeps now and just hated sleeping on his back. I think the reason he woke up crying and was crying all the time is because he was tired and not getting any sleep. Try it. The first time I tried he cried a little but the second time it worked like a breeze and now he sleeps all night. He is probably tired and crying because he is tired. It is a possibility.

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