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  • Paranoid about sleeping arrangements...what age should she go to her room?

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    Old 05-10-2006, 01:41 PM   #1
    OrangeCouture
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    Arrow Paranoid about sleeping arrangements...what age should she go to her room?

    I am just paranoid about that 3-4 month mark that I read about when they say you baby begins to learn more and can pick up on and get comfortable with their sleeping arrangements, like in your arms or in the parents bedroom. At what age have you all put your baby in their own room WITHOUT any attachment issues on their end. I currently sleep with our 5 week old daughter in my arms on our chaise and I get paranoid about her getting use to it, even at 5 weeks because I want to be able to sleep in bed with my husband again and I don't want her in my room at all. (My brother and sister-in-law allowed their son to sleep with them and he is 8 years old and still trying to because they allowed him to sleep with them since he was a baby and he won't even sleep over anywhere because he became so dependant. Thanks!

     
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    Old 05-10-2006, 02:57 PM   #2
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    Re: Paranoid about sleeping arrangements...what age should she go to her room?

    hi orange
    sam is now 9 weeks and in his cot in his room he is doing fine. i make sure i respond when he cries so it helps him feel secure although he is only waking once in hthe night now so after a feed and nappy change he falls back to sleepi have read lots of books that say you should always respond promptly to their cries. i also read falling to sleep on a sofa or such like increases the risk of sids, so i would consider changing how you are currently sleeping, of course it is up to you, hope i don't sound like i am preaching it is just what i read and thought it might help to share it. i know that sam likes to fall asleep in my arms some nights but this is usually early evening and as soon as he is asleep i pop him in his cot. i make sure that i don't always put him down when he is fast asleep but i do put him down when he is looking sleepy so he is not confused when he wakes up. i really have no problems with sam being in his room in his cot in fact i feel i did him a favour as i kept disturbing him during the light stage of his sleep cycle. also he was getting too big for his moses basket so now he can spread his arms, he sleeps in those special baby sleeping bags.

     
    Old 05-10-2006, 03:13 PM   #3
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    Re: Paranoid about sleeping arrangements...what age should she go to her room?

    Orange - I moved my baby girl out of our room from her bassinet to her own room WAY upstairs and far away - LOL when she was just about 3 months old. she has always slept in the bassinet except for about 4 nights total when she slept with us.. it is very nice to have my room back and hubby and I are alone again - we do respond quickly to her at night though - and she loves her crib!

    Also I put her down semi awake during the day and (middle of night) feedings.... so she goes to sleep on her own.... it doesn't always work that I lay her down and leave and all is fine - sometimes I have to go back in and pick her up - but not ALOT of times... so its good. she is now 3.5 months along and been upstairs I think about 3 weeks now... its hard to get used to - but I had to do it - and we had no trouble with her being attached.

    XXOO good luck - its hard but the earlier you do it - the better probably - you can still enjoy her though - smell her little head and such when feeding - I just love doing that! and you cherish her more I think too - when she is sleeping and you are awake and are like "I miss her".... I do miss her - when she is in her own little room... hee hee!

     
    Old 05-10-2006, 07:52 PM   #4
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    Re: Paranoid about sleeping arrangements...what age should she go to her room?

    LOL my son is 7 months and I just moved him into his room this week, and didnt even wanna do it now, his sleeping hasnt changed, still wakes up same time every night....it seems to be no different to him, to me, it is, i cant sleep as good,lol

     
    Old 05-11-2006, 06:05 AM   #5
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    Re: Paranoid about sleeping arrangements...what age should she go to her room?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by OrangeCouture
    My brother and sister-in-law allowed their son to sleep with them and he is 8 years old and still trying to because they allowed him to sleep with them since he was a baby and he won't even sleep over anywhere because he became so dependant.
    I wouldn't base your paranoia on that. It's HOW the child is raised, not what sleeping arrangements are in place. You can safely allow your child to sleep with you in your room and make a transition later without an 8 year old climbing into bed with you. Even families who co-sleep end up with indipendent children.

    Having said that, it's just a matter of reconditioning your baby. He's used to sleeping in your arms, so of course it might take a bit longer to get him used to being put down.

    I always wanted to co-sleep, but after one night of frantically being woken up by my husband because DD was burried under the covers, she prompty went back into her bassinet! It freaked me out. But I still like the closeness of her falling asleep in bed at the breast, so what I do is wait until she is dead asleep, then roll away from her, then move her to her bassinet.

    Now it doesn't matter where she falls asleep - my arms, grandmas arms, in her swing, she always does well being moved.

    It may take you a couple of nights of trying to get him moved into bed. If it were me, I would start early and try putting him down in his own bed (where ever you decide to put him). If he wakes, then sooth him back to sleep, if you BF then try that, or what ever else works, wait until he is settled, then try again. You'll probably find that he'll wake upon realizing that he isn't with you, so it might to put him down slightly awake (nice and relaxed and settled, but not out cold) so he's not startled, and hopefully he'll finally fall asleep on his own if he's tired enough.

    I would make sure you get a good nap one afternoon (and him too), and set out to put him to sleep in his own bed that night. I did this to get DD used to napping in her crib (before she'd only sleep in her swing or bassinet, now she naps in her nursery with the door closed). It worked great over the course of a few days, now she naps in there on her own for 2 hours at a time.

     
    Old 05-11-2006, 07:38 AM   #6
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    Re: Paranoid about sleeping arrangements...what age should she go to her room?

    We moved our son out at 3 months. Didn't phase him a bit. He sure slept better than I did! It was sure hard to get used to, but wonderful after awhile. My biggest problem was that I was so used to being able to just peek over at him. After we moved him, I could hear him on the monitor, but couldn't see him, and it drove me crazy. I snuck into his room so many times the first while.

     
    Old 05-11-2006, 08:21 AM   #7
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    Re: Paranoid about sleeping arrangements...what age should she go to her room?

    I got one of those video monitors - it helps a lot especially because my girl wiggles around and moans and screams out - and she is still SLEEPING!!! for like 30 min. before getting up - ugh. hee hee - also I did put my girl to sleep a couple of times in her crib for naps before moving her there - she is way more comfy there too.

     
    Old 05-11-2006, 11:25 AM   #8
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    Re: Paranoid about sleeping arrangements...what age should she go to her room?

    We moved DS out of our room at 6 weeks. Mostly due to my not being able to sleep (every noise... you know). He adjusted without any issues. Sometimes I would put him down with his eyes open, others he would fall asleep nursing or in his swing and we would move him to his crib. He would occasionally fuss a little, but fall right back asleep. Good luck.

     
    Old 05-11-2006, 06:37 PM   #9
    rouge
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    Re: Paranoid about sleeping arrangements...what age should she go to her room?

    My sister moved her dd into her own room at 2.5. It was fine and only took a week or so for it to work well. I have read that it takes only a couple of days to change the behavior/habits of a baby 1 and under and a week for a baby over 1. My ds still sleeps in our room (on a bed next to ours) and climbs into bed with us initilly at night and in the morning. I love those times of cuddling. If you would like to move your baby into their own room I would not do it at a certain date I would do it when you think you are both ready. I am not worried about my son transitioning when we are ready and I don't plan on having him sleep with us until he is 8. Good luck

     
    Old 05-14-2006, 02:29 PM   #10
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    Re: Paranoid about sleeping arrangements...what age should she go to her room?

    I slept in my bed with DD in my arms until she was approx. 4 months old. Once she was able to roll over, she tried to get away from me and I couldn't have her roaming about in my bed. So she was happy to have the freedom of her own bed, because mommy made her sleep close. She slept on her tummy at that point, because as the Drs will tell you, once they can roll there is no stopping them. Getting her to her own bed was easier than getting her to fall asleep on her own, but we've managed that recently (she is 9 months).

     
    Old 05-15-2006, 01:56 PM   #11
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    Re: Paranoid about sleeping arrangements...what age should she go to her room?

    Thanks for the advice! I know my brother and sister-in-laws situation is unique. Their son slept with them since he was a newborn and it never quit. They somewhat tried to kick him out when he was younger but he would always comeback into their room or he would cry and scream until he got in and it was easier for them to say okay, you can sleep in here than to deal with the problem.

    Our daughter is now 6 weeks and I will probably sleep on the chaise with her for a little while longer. I will see how I feel in a couple of weeks when she is 2 months old.

     
    Old 05-15-2006, 02:41 PM   #12
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    Re: Paranoid about sleeping arrangements...what age should she go to her room?

    We moved Ds later than we planned at 6 months. We thought it would be a fight but he actually sleeps better in his own room than in ours. He did after about 2 days. He's always been a good sleeper but in our room he did these 2 in the a.m. yapping sessions where he woke up and because he knew we were there he wanted to talk and play. Once he had his own room and nobody to talk and play with, he doesn't wake up to yap anymore. He's slept with me a couple of times in bed when his dad was gone for a weekend and when he was sick (we were afraid he'd vomit in bed like he had the first day he was sick) and sure enough he woke up and "talked" my ears off. Good luck to ya!

     
    Old 05-16-2006, 08:18 PM   #13
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    Re: Paranoid about sleeping arrangements...what age should she go to her room?

    My 4 month old sleeps in bed with me, as did my now 12 year old. My 12 year old just decided one day she was ready to stay in her own room, I never forced her. My husband is a Truck Driver and when he is gone I always want my 12 year old to sleep with me because I miss having her in my bed. We stay up late and watch Nick at Nite and talk and we have a really strong bond. I had a harder time dealing with the transition of her going to her own bed than she ever did. I have always had a crib and bassinet, but I just can't seem to use them. Also my 12 year old had seizures as a baby and I wanted her close and now my newest baby daughter has had medical problems and has been on a heart monitor until recently, so I feel like I have to have them near. And when my 12 year old sleeps in her own room, I check her 3 times a night to make sure she is still breathing. I know, I have issues.

    I realize my choices are not the best for everybody, so you just have to do what feels right to you. I will say that my 12 year old is the most strong-willed, independent, mind-of-her-own, person I have ever met. And she is homeschooled at that. So having an older child in your bed will not make them less independent. As North of 60 stated, it's how your child is raised.
    Some psychologists don't recommend co-sleeping, but some psychologists say it makes some families closer.

    This is a little off track from your post, but I just wanted to share my experience.

     
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