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Infant Care (up to 18 months old) Message Board

Baby attached to Mom only - Help!!!

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Old 03-22-2010, 03:11 PM   #1
Join Date: Mar 2010
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bellamart HB User
Baby attached to Mom only - Help!!!

My DH and I have a 3 month old. My hubby has been right there from the start. Very loving, gentle and devoted. Our DS had no problem going with him in the beginning, but it seems like the past couple of months, he periodically cries (sometimes wails) at different times of the day or night when DH holds him, changes his diapers, swaddles him, feeds him, puts him down or gets him up from his nap, sometimes even just by him looking at him! He feels very hurt and rejected by this and it totally KILLS me to see him like that!!
We have been trying for 11 of the longest years of our life to have a baby and now to see our son act like this with his father is so devastating to the both of us! I know babies are attached to the mother, but my DH is getting so frustrated that he is wants to stay away so he doesn't get his heart broken by the baby's detachment. It is also becoming more and more difficult for me because DH sees how I can pretty much do anything with the baby and he is perfectly content as long as I'm there or he's in my arms.
Is there anything he or I can do to get baby to trust him more?

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Old 03-24-2010, 11:16 AM   #2
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 433
caberg HB Usercaberg HB Usercaberg HB Usercaberg HB Usercaberg HB User
Re: Baby attached to Mom only - Help!!!

Dad will have a different touch, a different smell, a different voice, and obviously a different look from Mom.

You say this is "periodic" when doing various things. Are these things that you usually do? Like putting him down or getting him up from a nap? You probably have certain way that you do it, and sensing small variations is upsetting.

On the other hand, your son should get used to the different feel of Dad. I do a lot of things differently than my wife with our 10-month old son. For example, I usually get up with him in the morning and we lay on the couch--he lies on my chest. My wife doesn't lie like this with him, so it's our thing. That makes it special.

Just tell your husband to hang in there and to be as hands on as possible. Babies cry a lot, and we don't always know why.

Old 03-30-2010, 09:05 PM   #3
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Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: OH
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myloathe HB User
Re: Baby attached to Mom only - Help!!!

I had the same problem 3 yrs ago with DD and my husband. I think the majority of it stemmed from the fact that I was breastfeeding her but we started giving her breastmilk from the bottle VERY early on to get her used to other people. Eventually, she opened up to her daddy and now, as a 3 yr old, she LOVES daddy and could care less about mommy, lol. Just tell your husband to keep with it, trying to bond with the baby as much as possible and not to take anything personally.

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