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Stressful family situation,what should I do?

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Old 06-01-2010, 08:14 PM   #1
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Question Stressful family situation,what should I do?

I'm 18 years old and my boyfriend is 20. We have a 2 month old daughter together.I have tried being a shappy as I possibly can but people ar emaking it very difficult.

First,I'll say that my boyfriend and I have sat down and discussed rules for our baby. The rules were simple,nothing over the top. Things such as-Don't pick up the baby when she is sleeping,no animals around the baby,and no smoking in the house or near baby.

Most rules have been followed out,except the animal rule. Everytime we go to his parents' house,they refuse to put the dogs that snap and bite you at random away from my child. The first time I told himt oc all his mother and tell her that the dogs would have to be put up or something,and she gets smart and refuses.

I understand it's her house,and that's fine. However I don't understand why she continues to complain that we don't take our daughter over there enough when it's pretty clear that I don't want the animals around her. You'd think if she cared as much as she says she does,she'd put them out.

My boyfriend says stuff,but they are still ignorant about it. I am so tired of having to go over there or being pressured to go over there when they won't even put the dogs up.

What would you do?

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Old 06-02-2010, 12:01 PM   #2
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Re: Stressful family situation,what should I do?

I would nicely tell them that they are more than welcome to come visit the baby at your house, but that as long as they refuse to put the dogs away, you won't be visiting at their house. It's not like you're moving in and asking them to get rid of their dogs, you're just asking them to put the dogs in another room while the baby is visiting. It's not an unreasonable request! BUT, people are funny about their pets, so go about it delicately and try to leave accusations out of it.

Old 06-02-2010, 11:02 PM   #3
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Re: Stressful family situation,what should I do?

I would talk to them and I think I would use "I" statements here. I would say something like, "I would love to bring the baby over more often. However, I'm just afraid of the dogs being by her......and not just your dogs....all dogs. I have a fear of her getting bitten, or trampled on, or having an allergic reaction..etc. So would it be possible to put the dogs outside? Otherwise you are welcome to come over here and see the baby." There is nothing rude or offensive about that. If she decides to get upset, well then watch your caller I.D. closely and avoid the harassment. At the end of the day, she is your daughter, and you have to set the groundrules, and let everyone involved know who's in charge right from the beginning, or people will definately run right over you.....and it will only get worse as your child gets older. You are the mom, You are in charge, and that's that. You can do it, just be polite, and nobody can hold anything against you. Good luck!

Old 06-04-2010, 02:37 AM   #4
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Re: Stressful family situation,what should I do?

Traveling anywhere with a baby is a lot of work.My husband and I always seemed to forget something at least twice that was important.
I think marisuela's suggestion to tell them they are welcome over your place is a great answer.You don't even have to go into it about the dogs if you don't want to.Just say simply it is too much to travel with the baby and you'd rather they came to you.
Your request absolutely is not unreasonable at all.Especially if any of of those dogs has EVER bitten anyone.Dogs can be funny about babies too.

Old 06-04-2010, 07:00 AM   #5
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Re: Stressful family situation,what should I do?

My stepmom is similar with her dogs (she was even offended I wouldn't let them in my house when they pee and poop all over). I've simply told her that she could have her rules at her house and I'd have mine at my house but I won't visit unless the dogs are put away. That leaves it her choice if she wants to see my son, or she just wants to act like she cares and make a big stink. If she cares enough, she'll visit or put the dogs away (she doesn't care enough, we've found, and I'm fine with not seeing her).

Old 06-25-2010, 12:14 PM   #6
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Re: Stressful family situation,what should I do?

I would just like to add that a 17 day old baby was recently killed in my city by domestic dogs when left unattended for merely seconds. The news story reported that the dogs were very friendly and usually very tolerant of babies and children. The mother and grandmother stepped out of the room for only a moment when the dogs attacked the baby in her carrier and killed her.

The 17 year old mother is now being charged with criminal negligence and may face jail time.

It's just not worth it. Stand up to your boyfriend's mother. You owe it to your little one.

Sorry to be a downer.... but stories like this are a wake up call.

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