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3 month old constantly crying when not held!!

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Old 07-31-2012, 12:40 PM   #1
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3 month old constantly crying when not held!!

Hey guys. I know this is a forum for health but maybe someone can help with something not health related. My son is 3 mos. old and lately if he isn't napping, he's up crying hysterically until he's held. It does matter who's holding him, as it seems as though when DH is holding him, he's okay for a bit but then he starts crying until I hold him. If I'm holding him he's okay. Once I put him down he flips out. It's getting to the point that I can't get much done throughout the day unless he's napping and being that he's 3 mos. old his naps aren't longer than 30 mins. at a time. I should add that I have 3 other kids who are 6 y.o, 4 y.o, and 22 mos old. I'm sure them playing in the house contributes to my 3 mo. old not napping long. He's very alert so maybe he likes to be held sitting up on my lap to see what's going on around him and I don't discourage that because I believe the more awake and aware a baby is, the better. The issue is me having to hold him the entire time. We put him in the swing or the bouncer but he simply wants me. He's with me all day long so I guess that's why he prefers me over anyone else but I have 3 other children that I need to tend to and of course a house. Should I always run to him when he's crying to be picked up or should I teach him how to self-soothe? I can't imagine letting him cry longer than 5 mins. IF THAT. He's in my arms on my lap as I type this. What are some suggestions? Thanks!

I should also add that I notice the only thing that will calm him down if I am not holding him is if he's drinking his milk. I try to substitute the bottle with a paci but he doesn't seem to suck on it longer than a few mins. I'm afraid to keep feeding him because at his last appt when he was 2 months old, he weighed 12 lbs and the doctor told me he was considered overweight. I don't know what he weighs now but his next appt is August the 24th. I am afraid he's just getting heavier and heavier because his self-soothing seems to be a bottle. I don't know what else to do.

Last edited by Chrissy26; 07-31-2012 at 12:47 PM.

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Old 08-27-2012, 12:35 AM   #2
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Re: 3 month old constantly crying when not held!!

Hi Chrissy:

You've probably had lots of experience with crying babies, so you know the difference between when he's in pain or not, no doubt. But you always have to look at that first. Stomach pain, whatever.
But if you think its just for attention, or because he's used to being held, then most doctors say its OK to leave them cry for awhile. If it was me, I might strap him to my back with a baby carrier while I was doing my chores. Then, if he's not in pain, and the house is fairly quiet (!)lay him down, try to turn on some soothing music and do a foot massage with firm but gentle movements; start a routine. He might be overstimulated just a bit with so much going on all the time. Get him used to laying by himself with you laying next to him as opposed to you holding him. I made the mistake of breastfeeding my son to sleep, pretty soon, he was almost 2 and couldn't go to sleep without breastfeeding! Then every time I moved to get up, he would wake up, I never got anything done. Self-soothing is important for coping strategies for when they're older, but in my opinion, not with a bottle or a breast, unless they're in pain. It's healthier for them not to learn to depend on food to soothe their anxieties.

Best wishes, K.

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