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    Old 12-09-2003, 11:09 AM   #1
    Sarafina
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    Had IUI today - anyone else 2WW?

    Hi Everyone, I had my very first IUI this morning. It all seemed to go very well, with all the ducks perfectly in order so to speak. I am expecting the next 14 days to be really long ones, and am trying my butt off to stay calm and relaxed. I had 4 follicles of appropriate size and took my trigger shot on Sunday evening. DH and I got up at 5am today and drove over to re's office and I went in to "the porn room" with him.....do you all do that? I just felt I should be there...I made him come in to the room while I was having the IUI done, he didn't mind, but I can tell you it was a big first for him-seeing me w/feet in stirrups, etc....poor guy. I am so glad injections are over - hopefully for good.
    Who else is on their 2WW and hoping for a real sweet end to the year? I am sooooo mentally tired from ttc and hoping sooooo hard that this IUI worked. Wishing you all good luck! - Sara

     
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    Old 12-10-2003, 05:46 PM   #2
    abcGirl
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    Re: Had IUI today - anyone else 2WW?

    Hi, Sarafina:

    I had my third IUI on the same day you did (Dec. 9). The first two did not work. This will be our last try at a baby. We don't want to graduate to IVF and my doctor said there's really no point in doing more than 3 IUI's. So I'm in the tww, too. I will likely know by Christmas Eve whether I'm pregnant. I'm keeping my expectations pretty low since the chances of IUI working are somewhere around 15%, I'm told. In my case it might be lower due to DH's sperm count being problematic (he had a vasectomy reversal resulting in less than ideal sperm).

    I think I really only had one good follicle and I'm not sure we got the thing timed exactly right. My cycles are unpredicatable, even with ultrasound monitoring.

    We live close enough to the doctor so that DH can do his thing with the cup at home. Frankly, I worry that if I was with him, he'd feel compelled to perform and might have anxiety. So I let him do it in private as he seems to prefer it that way. And I have always done the IUI without him. It's nice that you do these things with your DH; I think that is fine if that works for you. My DH is a little old-fashioned however; he is older (52) and I am younger (38). Before he met me he could barely even talk about sex! I've gotten him to open up a lot, but there are limits! So this is how we have done it. Frankly, as I said in another post, neither one of us is too crazy about this whole IUI procedure. It does take all of the romance and emotion out of baby making.

    But I really hope it works for you. I will be thinking positive thoughts and sending them your way.

    BCGirl

     
    Old 12-11-2003, 02:44 PM   #3
    Sarafina
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    Re: Had IUI today - anyone else 2WW?

    Thanks Skysam! I hope you are taking it easy - I imagine you must be on Cloud 9!!!??? Well, move over, because I plan on being there soon myself!

    BCGirl - Hey, I'm 38 too! (not that being 38 really excites me these days - the booming sound of the clock ticking, you know!)

    What day are you going to test? I was told to do an ept 14 days after the IUI - so that would be the 23rd - but I hesitate to do that because my AF isn't even due until the 26th or 27th, and I think I would just be wasting a test. What do you think? I'll probably know before than anyhow, as I get cramps like clockwork 7 days before AF begins....
    I really hope this final IUI works for you. Did you do injectibles with it? I did follistim and a trigger shot. I don't know if we will do another IUI or skip to IVF or what. Insurance covers nothing and the expense of treatment has been a bit steep for us.
    Are you celebrating the holidays? I decided a couple months ago that I wasn't going to drag my butt out to the malls to shop for gifts with money I didn't have and then put myself through the stress of the whole ordeal this year. So, dh and I are staying home this year, which, in case of a BFN, would be best. And if it is a BFP, well then, I would like to spend that time alone with my dh to celebrate. I knew AF would be due around XMAS, and I knew I'd be emotional either way, so I just thought it would be best to not make plans.
    Let me know if you have any positive signs or symptoms during your 2ww. I have really sore breasts and nausea, but it is most likely from the injectibles, as I had it before the IUI, so I won't really have any way to tell early.
    Good Luck!-Sara

     
    Old 12-12-2003, 03:12 PM   #4
    hwboston
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    Talking Re: Had IUI today - anyone else 2WW?

    Hello,
    This is my first time on this web-site. I just happened to be looking for information on IUI statistics and I stumbled across this web-site. Wow, it is so nice to talk about this with other people. I had my first IUI done on the same day as well. What a great X-mas would this be. It would be the best gift ever. I have done Follistim shots but not with the IUI. It was not that bad in comparison to other treatments and tests I have had done while going through this process for the last two years.
    I have to admit it was pretty strange. I never knew science was this complicated. It is so great to hear other people talk about the same frustrations I have. I go into the infertility office or the IVF dept and I see all these women with the same problem and no one wants to talk. Its like a code of slience in the waiting room.
    Well it was great to hear two other people had an IUI on the same day as me. I will hope for all of us that something positive happens!

     
    Old 12-12-2003, 06:18 PM   #5
    abcGirl
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    Re: Had IUI today - anyone else 2WW?

    Hello, Sarafina:

    I've been tracking my cycles pretty closely for years, and I always get AF by day 29. So for me, Christmas Eve is day 29. I won't test at all unless I get beyond day 29. Why not? Because I have wasted SO MUCH money on those darn tests over the past couple of years, I've finally wised up and decided not to test early. No sooner do I do a test then AF appears. It's like a jinx!

    I've been on clomid for four months. The past two months, I took a shot of HCG to trigger ovulation. That's it for drugs.

    Me and my DH are doing are normal Christmas thing this year. Which means the family will be over on Christmas Eve (consisting of his siblings, their children, his children from a previous marriage and maybe my brother). I will likely be somewhat bummed out if AF has appeared, but I'm learning to deal with it. I've really begun to think I may well never have a child so I've gotten better about dealing with that reality. A couple of months ago, when the doc said she believed only IVF would work, I was sort of in shock. I waited such a long time to get pregnant. I really wanted the time to be right and to have the right guy. But it seems I waited too long! There's really nothing special that's wrong with me; I'm just old and my hubby's sperm is not the best in the world. I have been pregnant by him twice (once four years ago and once a year ago) but lost both the babies early on. Now it seems it's just a lot harder for me to get pregnant.

    Sigh. So far, no symptoms. Anyway, I hope the best for you! Keep me posted on your progress.

    Welcome, hwboston! I hope your stay at this site will be short. Keep me posted about you, too!

    BCGirl

     
    Old 12-13-2003, 06:09 AM   #6
    Sarafina
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    Re: Had IUI today - anyone else 2WW?

    Welcome HW Boston! Keep us posted with your news - hoping you get your BFP!
    BCGirl - Don't say you are old! Cause if you're old, then I am too! It is probably just our eggs that are old! Ha Ha.....Well, I don't "feel" pregnant - not that I know what that would feel like - I always thought I would have some intuitive respnse if I was. I know what you mean about wasting money on ept's and opk's - I can imagine the profit margin on those products and it makes me insane. I tried Clomid and realy hated it - it made me feel mentally unstable - constant crying, grumpy, fat (I ate a lot when I took it), so I gave up on it - telling my doctor that I didn't want a kid that bad. The injectibles have been a lot better - just a little nausea and soreness - I can live with that. You are brave to be going through with the holidays- Good Luck with that - I hope you are a drinker! If I had to spent the holidays with my crazy family I would probably kill myself - clomid didn't drive me half as crazy as my kin does! Well, time is in slow motion for me. I really really hope this works for us (and everyone else ttc) this month! Think positive regardless of it all! - Sara

     
    Old 12-15-2003, 02:41 PM   #7
    abcGirl
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    Re: Had IUI today - anyone else 2WW?

    Well, actually, Sarafina, my family is pretty crazy/dysfunctional, too! But we'd probably need a different message board to talk about that!

    If you check out my post, you'll see that my family of origin is pretty well absent from my Christmas plans. That was not an accident! I am relieved to be spending the holiday mostly w/ DH's family, who are refreshingly nice and pretty normal.

    Anyhoo, I still have zero pregnancy symptoms. Maybe it's too early, but I really don't feel pregnant. I don't think the IUI worked. How about you, Sarafina and hwboston? Do you feel anything? We've still got more than a week to go in this tww. Isn't the waiting part a drag?

    BCGirl

     
    Old 12-16-2003, 05:34 AM   #8
    Sarafina
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    Re: Had IUI today - anyone else 2WW?

    Hi BCGirl - What a rotten morning I am having. Cramps woke me up this morning and they feel exactly like AF cramps. I always get cramps 7 days before AF is due (lucky me), and this is a bit early - but who knows how the follistim and trigger shot could have screwed up my cycle - and the cramps feel just like they always feel. I am so ****** bummed. Not only do I feel stupid for having been hopeful with odds being only 8% that the IUI would take, but I also feel incredibly broke - financially and spirit-wise. Ugh.... What I really want to do is have a pot of coffee, a pack of ciggarettes, and a few pints of Guiness, and perhaps even sexual intercourse I could enjoy....maybe then I would feel a little better. But no, I'll just continue to be a fool thinking maybe, just maybe the cramps are something else.....In a few days I'll waste even more money on ept's and then I'll actually get AF and then, well, Merry Christmas...............Ugh, I just don't think I can take this again. It sucks, especially when every idiot out there with no brain cells can seemingly have as many babies as thay don't even want. I think I need to give up. Sorry about the depressing post and I really hope if not me then one of you. - Sara

     
    Old 12-16-2003, 06:52 PM   #9
    abcGirl
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    Re: Had IUI today - anyone else 2WW?

    Hi, Sarafina! Sorry you are having a bad day and those cramps. I know just how you feel. I'm having a lousy day, too, although not for the same reasons. But I am having a fight with DH, which almost never happens, because I'm in such a rotten mood. Maybe it's just that time of our cycles when we get extraordinarily crabby. Although I never really noticed being too crabby at any particular time. But it's kind of a strange coincidence that we're both having a bad day on the same day.

    But anyway, as far as AF goes, I wish I could give you some magic words to soothe you. But I don't know the words. What I do for myself when AF or her symptoms start appearing is I try to think of the silver lining. I try to think of how I won't get really fat and I won't be broke for the next 21 years and how I won't be chained down to a kid every moment. I truly believe that I waited so long to ttc b/c I had some deep ambivalence about having children due to my own screwed up mother.... didn't want to turn out like her and be as bad to my kids as she was to me.

    But every time AF appears it really does hurt... but then I think maybe this is happening for a reason and maybe being a mom is not for me.

    I think I mentioned that this round of IUI was my third and last... so I've sort of moved into an "acceptance" phase where I've really and truly begun to believe that I may not become a Mom. It was tough a month or so ago, but I definitely do not have the money to do IVF. And even if I had eleven grand laying around, my doc says the chances are only 35%. So I could spend eleven grand for NOTHING! No thanks.

    I know what you mean about seeing all these pregnant women. Just the other day I tuned into some documentary on HBO where some crackhead was pregnant with like her sixth kid and she was smoking crack while she was in her 8th or 9th month. Isn't that rich? God really must have an ironic side.

    Well, I hope that you really are pregnant or that you will be sometime soon and that you get exactly what you want. I am just going to try to work on being satisfied with my little life the way it is, because I definitely don't feel pregnant.

    We're quite the pair with these depressive postings! Feel better soon.

    BCGirl

     
    Old 12-17-2003, 11:13 AM   #10
    tara_dickel
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    Re: Had IUI today - anyone else 2WW?

    Hi I just read all the messages. I had my first IUI done on Saturday 12/13. I have taken follistim shots for about 2 1/2 weeks. This would be the greatest christmas present. It's funny. I sit here and think that I am the only one in the whole world that this has happened to and then I read all of the messages and see all the people in the doctors office and I see that I am not alone. I would love to keep in touch with someone that had an IUI done on the 13th and go through this together.

     
    Old 12-18-2003, 09:15 AM   #11
    Sarafina
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    Re: Had IUI today - anyone else 2WW?

    Hi BCGirl, and Welcome Tara!
    Well BCGirl, I read your last post and was amazed at how everything you said could have come from my own mouth. I never seriously even thought about whether or not I wanted kids until I was 36, and at that point I was in my ob-gyn's office and she posed the question and I said I thought I might wait another year. She looked at me like I was crazy - little did I know. I am not a stupid person, however, it never, ever occured to me that after 35 was running out of time.....I guess they didn't publish those informative articles in Cosmo....ha ha....As for dysfunctional families, my parents taught me that children were a burden, so I wasn't too quick to cozy up to the idea of having any of my own. In Toni Morrison's book "The Bluest Eye" she wrote a line that has stuck with me over the years: "Motherhood is old age" - I was probably about 24ish when I read that, but it really summed up my fears. I also wonder if my reproductive system picks up on my fears and prevents pregnancy. I know, pretty crazy, but I have read articles on THAT.....Well, if we don't have kids, we'll keep our figures and what is left of our sanity. We won't have the struggles in our marriages that we read about couples with kids having. I won't have postpartum depression (just regular depression from not being able to have kids, ha ha) and we won't have to drive minivans! I won't have to sell my Miata! I can drink Margaritas every day! I can get on airplanes to go to exotic places without diaper bags, car seats and strollers (God, don't those people make you think twice when you see them breaking down in airports??!!), so there certainly are positives to not having kids (I hate the word "childless", its just not as fun as say "braless"!) and, well, life ain't fair, so get over it, right? All the money we would of spent on kids, we can now spend on ourselves - I can already think of a few things - as I've been going without a number of luxury and even necessary items ever since we began pouring all of our money into ttc.....a couple weeks on a beach in Mexico, a few days at a spa, numerous cocktails, a glowing tan, and I'll be like "Yuck - babies"...Good as new!
    Well, sorry for the rant.....but it made me feel better
    Sorry to hear you and your dh are at odds. Just tell him he better shape up and get off your nerves - you are bearing quite a bit here and he should be nothing but 100% supportive of you AT ALL TIMES. My dh lives in appropriate fear of me - all these hormones I'm on? Gimmee a break, no jury would even convict me......Go buy yourself something shiney...you'll feel better. I am going shopping today - I figure I can't drink alcohol, coffee, or smoke, but I can still shop, so that is what I'm off to do. Well, it ain't over till the fat lady sings....and we have a few days of false hope left (just my bad sense of humor, forgive me). Take Care - Sara

     
    Old 12-19-2003, 06:24 PM   #12
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    Re: Had IUI today - anyone else 2WW?

    Hi, Sarafina... well, I'm still feeling depressingly non pregnant. How about you?

    Yes, you and I sound like we had the same ambivalence towards having kids. I also wondered whether my body was unconsciously preventing me from conceiving due to all those mixed feelings. But once I finally married the right guy, I decided it was time to face my fears and start the family I always imagined that I would have someday. But, ha ha, little did I know it was just too darn late. It's just another thing I thank Momster for.

    Speaking of Momster, I don't know what your parents' problem was, but my Momster (I believe) is an undiagnosed border personality disorder sufferer. UBPD for short! There's a website at [[removed]]
    Meanwhile, I'm a mom to 4 kitties and 1 doggie. The kitties are hanging out with me now; one is snuggled up next to me and the other is sleeping on a pillow next to me with his paw outstretched to rest on my arm. People who say cats are aloof just don't know any cats, I think! And my doggie, well, he's my baby. I spend as much on doggie day care as some people spend on kiddie day care, I think! I go broke paying for that dog. But there's nothing like coming home after a long day at a stressful, unsatisfying job, only to be greeted by a little creature that is so happy to see me that he spins in circles and hops around like a crazy creature!!! I'm a hero just for coming home. Do you have any pets?

    Well, here's keeping my fingers crossed for all of us! Maybe you or I or one of us will have ourselves a Christmas miracle! Stranger things have happened.

    BCGirl

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    Old 12-22-2003, 05:51 AM   #13
    Sarafina
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    Re: Had IUI today - anyone else 2WW?

    Hi BCGirl, Thanks for your last post. Well, I got AF very early, so I guess the fat lady sang for me.....better luck to you. Yep, I have 2 terrific cats and often wonder where I'd be without them. As far as mother's with bipolar disorder go, that wouldn't apply to my mother as her rotten personality is very consistent. I wish you the best and thanks for your support along the way as it was nice chatting with you. I am off to get some tylenol pm, as I'm hoping to sleep thru the holidays - Sara

     
    Old 12-22-2003, 05:47 PM   #14
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    Re: Had IUI today - anyone else 2WW?

    Hi, Sara:

    I'm sorry to hear that your AF has arrived. I really am. I hope it goes better for you next month. I suspect my own AF will arrive soon. Today I got the cramps I usually get a day or 2 before AF shows up, so more than likely its just a matter of time for me, too. I've got so much to do for Christmas and all the family coming over and all that I have hardly had time to feel sad about it. But it will be really sad once it sinks in that my last attempt at being a mom has failed. Wish I could sleep through Christmas like you. I think you were smart to allow yourself time to feel emotional. I just feel exhausted.

    Just a note about I goofed on my post and didn't describe my mother's problem correctly. What I meant to say is that she has borderline personality disorder. I think I just called it borderline or something. Anyway, it's not bipolar. If only she had bipolar she would have been easier to deal with. Actually, she was pretty nasty for most (if not quite all) of the time. Maybe your Mom is a queen, witch, waif or hermit. (Those are the 4 types of borderlines!!) My Mom is a queen with some witch tendencies.

    Thanks for sharing your IUI ups and downs with me this month. I've really appreciated having you to commiserate with. I wish you all the best, and Merry Christmas. I am going to try to focus on the things I have to be grateful for this Christmas. Good health, wonderful husband, a roof over my head, and little kitties and a doggie. I am sure you have many blessings, too, not the least of which is a fine intellect and a good sense of humour! Happy Holidays.

    BCGirl

    Last edited by moderator2; 12-22-2003 at 06:01 PM. Reason: Please carefully read and follow the board posting guidelines. Thank you.

     
    Old 12-26-2003, 03:31 AM   #15
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    Re: Had IUI today - anyone else 2WW?

    Hi, Sarafina... just thought it would make you laugh to hear how my Christmas Eve went.... first I got AF in the morning... nice Christmas present! Then in the afternoon when I looked through the mail, three bills totalling $600 showed up for the second IUI that didn't work.... no insurance coverage, of course. Then, in the evening, I had to keep an extremely jealous and crushed look off my face when my 26 year old step daughter announced she was pregnant after only a few months of trying. I am happy for them, of course, but it was just not a great day to get the happy news. I managed to keep any bad look off my face and give them all the congrats that they deserve, but geez. How much can a girl take in one day? Some days are just filled with cruel ironies, I guess.

    So I spent most of Christmas being sad and crabby. Luckily DH understands why and was very supportive.

    I hope you had a better few days. I am trying to decide whether to do IVF. I've always said I wouldn't, because it's so expensive and there are no guarantees. But now that I'm faced with a lifetime of no children, I'm feeling a little less certain...

    BCGirl

     
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