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  • anyone over 40 feeling hopeless after ivf?

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    Old 08-30-2010, 01:41 PM   #1
    MT3
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    anyone over 40 feeling hopeless after ivf?

    Im 42 and just had ivf after saving for one year. Blocked tubes means that ivf was our only option. I feel so guilty as there is nothing wrong with my husband, I feel guilty for him marrying me. I feel as though I should leave him so that he can find someone who can give him a family.

    Everything was going well, I responded to the medication and had no problems with mood swings, cysts or nightsweats.

    Only 5 eggs were taken and 3 fertilised-great quality, top quality and I was even warned that I might have a multiple pregnancy-but it didnt work!!!!!
    I started to bleed or rather spot dark brown blood, I frantically searched the internet only to find that it was either 'implantation' spotting, which I was hoping for or my PERIOD! After 2 days my period came so it was all over!

    I just cant bring myself to do it all over again it costs so much!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I'm heartbroken.

     
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    Old 08-30-2010, 07:17 PM   #2
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    Re: anyone over 40 feeling hopeless after ivf?

    Dear MT3
    I am so sorry for your struggle on this roller coaster. Did your doctor do any blood work prior to IVF? Also have you looked into acupuncture along with IVF?
    Aside from that the money thing sucks... Everything is so expensive! At our age the quality of the egg makes the implantation tricky. My RE thinks I should go straight to donor egg... But what I read for women our age is that it could take 1-3 tries of IVF before success. I also read that some doctors keep pulling eggs for 3 times to collect alot of eggs and then transfer back after the 3rd pull. This way you have more eggs to implant.
    Stop feeling guilty and projecting on to your husband. He married you for many other reasons beside this. Talk to him and work out a plan and one that does not depend on 1 try. I have a cousin who is 25 and has NO eggs! Her husband did not leave her, and they just adopted a beautiful baby boy. Infertility does not only happen to older women and it can happen at any age. You just need to focus and set goals for this process...
    I hope this helps
    Amy

     
    Old 08-31-2010, 01:25 AM   #3
    MT3
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    Re: anyone over 40 feeling hopeless after ivf?

    [QUOTE=amynyc;4318090]Dear MT3

    Last edited by MT3; 09-08-2010 at 10:40 AM.

     
    Old 08-31-2010, 01:29 AM   #4
    MT3
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    Re: anyone over 40 feeling hopeless after ivf?

    Hi Amy,

    Yeah I know that i shoud stop feeling guilty, this has shown me how supportive DH really is. We have to come up with a plan yeah. Yeah my blood work was fine.

    Your theory seems to sound right, I knew that I would be very lucky to have success after 1 try, so I need to dust myself off and try again. If nthis is my dream I need to stop thinking of the money but its soooo expensive but we need to focus on what we want, right?

    I really want to focus with faith and start again, thanks was feeling sooooooo verylow.

    Thanks for the support Amy, means a lot right now.

     
    Old 09-07-2010, 09:14 PM   #5
    futuremama
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    Re: anyone over 40 feeling hopeless after ivf?

    Don't feel guilty. I went through the same thing, telling my husband he should have married a younger woman which really pisses him off. I just feel so guilty but I know someone who has been struggling to have a baby since she was 20 and 6 years later, she is still unable to concieve. Then there is a woman at 46 who concieved her first child using IVF and acupuncture.

    It's like a jackpot. Just keep trying and yes, financially its draining but we have decided on the following: not much time to try for a baby left but still alot of time to earn money, so we will use our savings until it runs out.

    Stay positive and I recommend Zita West's hypnotheraphy for IVF. It made me so calm and I think that was why I got pregnant the 4th time but sadly it was a chemical pregnancy.

     
    Old 09-08-2010, 09:33 AM   #6
    MT3
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    Re: anyone over 40 feeling hopeless after ivf?

    Thank you futuremama,
    Its amazing how the negative thoughts accumulate and you go o this downward spirl-only lasted a few days though but I have real fear coming up after the next one-really using my faith this time. I heard about Zita West so I will try acupuncture on this cycle. Many thanks again, MT3

     
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