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02-24-2005, 03:10 PM
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#1 | Senior Veteran (female)
Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Rochester, NY
Posts: 1,050
| Just looking for some reassurance RIGHT NOW
Man, it's amazing after all this time that my symptoms can still cause me some panic. And it's been one of those weeks, with today being the WORST in a very long time.
I am looking for those of you who say "oh, yes, I feel this way or experience this, too". #1
Since August 2004, I have found myself leaning or walking towards the right. Meaning, that if I am walking down the hall, my body will veer off to the right, so that I am practically up against the wall. When driving, I tend to drive to the right, so that I am more against the curb than the middle of the road.
If I try to walk straight, I feel like I am being "pulled" for lack of a better word, back to the right. #2
I am more "aware" of the right side of my body than the left, and this is especially when driving. Or it feels as though the right side of my body is 'more forward' than my left. Eegads.
Along with this, I am more aware of the feeling of my right inner ear, than my left. #3
Today my symptoms are such that they are causing me anxiety and panic. I usually am calmer when dealing than this. By the time I got home from work today, I felt as though I was going to drop into the spins. Really causing me stress. A bit tearful about it. It's so awful, as many know, to have to deal with Spin City.
And today, even when walking, I feel like I am walking shakily and stiff-legged, and that I am moving or the ground is moving in some strange way. I rarely do not have that sensation any more - but today I do and it's very upsetting.
I haven't been feeling too well, and today has been the worst in terms of headache, and a little tummy trouble. Sometimes I when I get sick, my head symptoms intensify. But even sitting here I feel my head symptoms more. So maybe I am sick - that would make me feel better, believe it or not.
Also have that fainty, pass out feeling, which I haven't had in a very long time.
Just having a panic attack of sorts, and a rather difficult coping moment.
Nervous to sit still or try to recline in case my spinny sensation increases.
Thanks so much. xo
Last edited by Wowwwweeee; 02-24-2005 at 03:15 PM.
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02-24-2005, 03:32 PM
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#2 | Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 188
| Re: Just looking for some reassurance RIGHT NOW
I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling like this.
I too get very anxious. Sometimes I will panic every single day...especially at night. I get the same 'floor moving' sensation as you. I feel like I'm treading water sometimes. It is very distressing.
I know how horrible panic attacks can be.....you try and calm yourself down..but it seems impossible. I just want to let you know that I'm here for you. I promise you that nothing bad is gonna happen. These damn inner ear disorders have a lot to answer for.
I'm here waiting if you need to talk
Kelly
xxxxxxx
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02-24-2005, 03:35 PM
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#3 | Senior Veteran (female)
Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Rochester, NY
Posts: 1,050
| Re: Just looking for some reassurance RIGHT NOW
I am just sitting here hitting "refresh" and trying to calm down. Feel like an idiot being so bent out of shapem especially since I have been dealing for years, but today (especially NOW) is just not good.
Thank for your speedy reply. Today I just can't take it any more. xo
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02-24-2005, 03:49 PM
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#4 | Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 188
| Re: Just looking for some reassurance RIGHT NOW
I am so sorry it feels so bad. Once anxiety takes over its very hard to ignore it.
I've had my dizziness constantly for the past 8 months....and to start off with I was panicking all the time because I didn't know what it was. And now that I know what it is...I still panic....because the symptoms are so ghastly.
You're not an idiot. You are one of the strongest people I know on here. We all have our bad days....its just the way it is.
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02-24-2005, 03:55 PM
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#5 | Senior Veteran (female)
Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Rochester, NY
Posts: 1,050
| Re: Just looking for some reassurance RIGHT NOW
I would feel better if I knew exactly what I have, but I don't - just some good guesses.
I still feel panicky and funky in the head.
My nose has been stuffy for a while, and last night my jaw and ear hurt a little. I am hoping it's just the start of a head cold.
Took some antihistamine, and waiting for that to kick in.
I'm going to venture upstairs to eat a little something. Don't want to eat or drink too much in case my symptoms get worse and I can't get up to use the potty.
Thank you so much for your support and empathy. I just feel like SCREAMING and crying, but actually, that will probably only add to my head symptoms.
I'll check back in a little while. Big Hug. xo
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02-24-2005, 03:57 PM
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#6 | Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 188
| Re: Just looking for some reassurance RIGHT NOW
awww Ok...well you take it easy. Lets hope the antihistamine kicks in soon.
Keep your strength up.
Take Care *hugs*
Kelly
xxxxxx
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02-24-2005, 04:03 PM
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#7 | Senior Member (female)
Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Berkeley, CA
Posts: 159
| Re: Just looking for some reassurance RIGHT NOW
Hi Wowwwweeee,
I'm sorry you're feeling so terrible right now. I do have some of the same symptoms... especially when I'm tired.
I also veer to the right, especially if the carpet has a pattern on it. Everyone at work thinks it's hilarious and will often walk to my right to protect me from hitting the wall. I don't notice it as much when I'm driving, but I do feel like cars to my right are always on the verge of smashing into me....
Over the past few weeks, mostly after my ENG I've felt pretty shakey, there were a few times last week where I thought we were having an earthquake because I felt like the floor was moving. It was like I was on a boat or like the floor was moving in waves.
All of these things have made me very anxious, especially after my drive home. Sometimes I just need to lie down after being behind the wheel for a half hour or more, I think it's too much for my brain to take on some days.
So you're not alone! I hope your panic passes and you're feeling better soon.
-Cori
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02-24-2005, 05:16 PM
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#8 | Member
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 67
| Re: Just looking for some reassurance RIGHT NOW
I'm sorry you had such a bad day, I can totally relate. I too had a really rough one. From what I gather you haven't got a diagnosis yet as to what is causing all your trouble. Neither do I and sometimes that feels like the scariest part. Basically I suffer from almost 24/7 heavy brain fog as described by pretty much everyone on this board. No spinning, no vertigo, etc. which seems to be both a blessing and a curse. It's good because, well, I'm not spinning or falling which sounds so awful and scary but bad because I have seen some of the best doctors out there and they all seem to say "no dizziness, no vertigo= no inner ear disorder." I heard that all again today and the more I hear it the more I start to believe that they are right, this really is all some crazy psychiatric disorder. I mean, they are the one's with the medical degree, right? I get really scared sometimes that I will be stuck like this for the rest of my life, I won't be able to finish school or find and hold down a job. I'm worried that all my medical expenses are going to banckrupt my loving and suppporting parents. So far, I have found the only thing that keeps me going when I start to feel terribly depressed about all this stuff is the comitment to leave no stone unturned in 1.) finding out exactly what this is and 2.) if not a cure for it than at least a treatment which can offer some kind of relief. The way I see it there absoultly has to be a doctor out there who can figure out what is going on with me.... and all of us for that matter. Even if it is psychiatric like the all say, it very closely mimics symptoms described by people suffering from inner ear disorders as well as sinus infections.... so what in sinus infections and inner ear disorders causes these sensations, what part of the brain is affected and what sorts of possible physicatric drugs are there out there to treat problems that manifest in that area of the brain. I just keep telling myself that I WILL find that doctor, be it an ENT, a neuro-otologist or a psychiatrist who will help me put the pieces together and offer me if not a cure, than at least a reason and a little reassurance. Also, I was wondering if anyone knew of or had been to a support group for inner ear disorders. They have got to be out there and while this board is great, I was wondering if anyone knew of a group of people I could sit down with face to face in either the Toronto or Washington D.C. metropolitan area and talk over some of the stress, anxiety and sadness that comes along with these disorders and how to cope. Hang in there and take one day at a time. It sounds cheesy, but it is some of the best advice I have given to myself so far. I read a post on here a few days ago about a gentleman who got through grad school dealing with the horror of an inner ear disorder. That really inspired me and today as I sat in class with my eyes having focus problems under the flourecent lights and my brain feeling slow and foggy, like all my thoughts were packed away in gauze, I just told myself that if he, this anonomyus stranger, could do grad school feeling like this then I can get through undergrad. Keep your chin up, never give up searching and I have no doubt that one day (sooner rather than later I hope) you and I and everyone out there searching for a diagonsis and a cure will find the help we are so desperate for.
Yours,
Andrea
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02-24-2005, 06:40 PM
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#9 | Veteran (female)
Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: NY
Posts: 443
| Re: Just looking for some reassurance RIGHT NOW
Wowwweee:
So sorry to hear you are have a really, really tough time. It sounds to me like you are coming down with some kind of bug. I must say that where I am from in upstate NY people have been coming down with really bad cold, flu symptoms that is really knocking them to the ground. There was also a nasty 24 hour bug that hit alot of people. Just when you think you are getting better, it hits you in another part of your body. Now I have been one who has been able to basically stay the same with my symptoms even with a cold but this last one went into my chest and I was running a low grade fever and for the first time in a long time I was feeling more off than usual. It actually triggered a bit of anxiety and I did everything to try to boost my immunity. Tons of Vitamin C and Silver Coloidal. I wish you could find some answers....my heart truly goes out to you.
Hope you feel better soon,
Kathy |
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02-24-2005, 08:45 PM
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#10 | Senior Veteran (male)
Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Sydney, Australia
Posts: 2,295
| Re: Just looking for some reassurance RIGHT NOW
Hi Wow,
Sorry to hear about the anxiety and panic symptoms you are feeling and just the overall crappy week - that's the pits...I hate anxiety so much...awful. Perhaps it is a viral bug hanging around winding you up like this. You know, one thing these doctors never touched on is just how bad it can feel with inner ear troubles. They dissect the diagnosis and roll over the causes and physiology but they never did mention boo about "how the patient feels". And I guess they'll never quite get it until they've been in our shoes.
Best to you...Scott
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02-24-2005, 10:43 PM
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#11 | Senior Member (female)
Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 229
| Re: Just looking for some reassurance RIGHT NOW
Sorry you are feeling so rough. I bet the antihistimine will help a lot. I know how you feel with the anxiety. It seems to have a mind of it's own doesn't it? Some days I wake up in a panic and others I don't. There doesn't seem to be a ryme or reason to it. All I can tell you is to hold on and ride it out. This crazy illness that we suffer from is just like that, good days and bad ones. When we have a bad one we just have to hang on and soon it will pass.
Tomorrow is a new day. |
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02-25-2005, 03:37 AM
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#12 | Senior Member (female)
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 193
| Re: Just looking for some reassurance RIGHT NOW
Hi Wow,
Really feel for you, its awful when you feel this bad, I havnt posted for a while as I just feel so utterly defeated with all this. Like you I have been dealing with this for a long time (almost 7 years) and I still have major anxiety and panics when I am really dizzy. Possibly you are starting with some kind of bug or something. I always try to figure out why I am having a bad day, usually something Ive eaten or time of the month etc (it sorta makes me feel better if I can blame something).
Anyway you hang in there, and hopefully you will feel much better real soon,
((hugs from another long-timer))
chris x
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02-25-2005, 04:09 AM
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#13 | Senior Member (female)
Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Wales
Posts: 222
| Re: Just looking for some reassurance RIGHT NOW
Oh pet. Sorry you've beenhaving such a rotten time. I get days (somethimes weeks) like that as well - anything from a bad night's sleep to a cold to PMT to something I've eaten can set it off, and it never seems to get any easier.
Just keep telling yourself that with the info from LL, you're a step closer to beating this thing. You're allowed to throw a wobbly over it, though, because it is just unutterably unpleasant. Does yourself up with vit C, garlic etc in case it's a virus, drink lots of water and rest up as much as you can until it passes....and it will.
Big hugs to you and everyone else who's havign a crappy time of it at the moment,
Ann xxx
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02-25-2005, 04:11 AM
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#14 | Senior Member (female)
Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Wales
Posts: 222
| Re: Just looking for some reassurance RIGHT NOW
Oh, and (((( Chris )))) as well. Been wondering how you are. I'm very up-and-down-but-mostly-down too, although the VRT does seem to be starting to help.
Ann xx
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02-25-2005, 04:56 AM
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#15 | Senior Member (female)
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 193
| Re: Just looking for some reassurance RIGHT NOW
Thanks Ann,
sorry to hear you are still struggling too. That is promising though, that you think the VRT is helping you. Sounds like it will be a long haul, but worth it in the end. Even tho I have no diagnosis maybe I should have another go at the VRT, it didnt help the first two times, but hey, third time lucky maybe?
Take care,
Chris xx
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