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    Old 03-18-2005, 06:24 AM   #16
    Katkin
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    Re: The anxiety returns

    Hehe a jam would be fun, I have family in Australia - perhaps we could have a live satellite link up haha!! I've been playing guitar since I was about 13 and piano since I was 5 and just always singing. I also play drums, a bit of bass and some bizzare African instruments! (I don't claim to play anything well btw ho ho - thought I'm sure my Mum would disagree - but then she's my Mum haha!)
    Been playing in bands since I was about 15/16, singing in them since I was about 17! Do you play in any bands??!

    I managed to go to college and sing last night - I'm so glad I went in and faced my fear! People were even coming up afterwards saying how cool it was and how much they enjoyed it - no-one could tell I was ill or anything!
    I felt quite rotten and physically poorly when I got there (it was very nice to have my Dad and his Gf there for support though) but not as disorientated as I'd been afraid that I would after what happened on Thursday (see my post "Aargh disorientation help" Lol!)
    After going back to the scary place last night I think the reason I'd felt so rotten on Wednesday was possibly that I felt actually physically ill and very tired and stuff and along with the disorientation and stress of deadlines - 3 today - it was just like overload for my brain. (Plus being slightly dizzy and having nasty earache/full/burny ears).

    Anyway I think what I'm saying in a really weird long-winded way is that if I can do those presentationy things and that performance last night (I soo didn't want to go in last night) then you can DEFINATELY do your stuff 'cos you're so much further along than me and doing SOOOO well! (Don't forget that) I know you can do it!
    Tell your "IT" so "SIT" in the corner of the room and not to disturb you! You're the boss yeah.

    (Haha sorry I've been reading a really cool book called "Your Survival Guide to PANIC ATTACKS" By Bev Aisbett. It's illustrated (she's a cartoonist I think) and her 1st panic attack was in Sydney funnily enough. Anyway its a really sweet book that makes total sense and is very reassuring and funny! - You should read it!!)

    Sorry for slightly hyper message but I'm feeling a lot better and happier today depsite the horrid (girly thing) headache LOL! Such a relief when you feel a bit better isn't it?!

    *hugs*
    Katkin xxx

    Last edited by Katkin; 03-18-2005 at 06:27 AM.

     
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    Old 03-18-2005, 01:46 PM   #17
    Stitcher317
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    Re: The anxiety returns

    Hi Scott,
    Yes, I will definitely keep everyone informed on my tapering progress. Now that I have cut 10% from my total daily dose I must admit I am feeling pretty strange today and it's been a gradual change. (feeling worse) This morning I feelt dizzy, my eyes felt tight along with my jaw and my vision is somewhat smokey. I don't have any anxious or panic feelings though. My affect is completely flat and I feel little emotion at times. Funny though, yesterday was my birthday and I cried when I opened some of my cards, especially from my son. Something I wouldn't normally do. ANYWAY, these feelings all go away shortly after taking my dose of Ativan. It lifts my spirits , energizes me and the dizziness disappears completely. This tells me it IS the medication......If these symptoms continue, I may slow the taper somewhat. Just how, I am sure. I can hold where I am until I adjust and then move down again. What formula are you using for your AD withdrawal? How do you know when to reduce again?
    So happy to hear you are feeling great now. Maybe Ativan, for you, is like a rechargable battery.....(LOL)

    Have a great day,
    Linda

     
    Old 03-18-2005, 04:29 PM   #18
    crazylabyrinth
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    Re: The anxiety returns

    Scott - know what you mean about england - but the reason i get so many bugs is cos of working with little ones. Willsmommy is the same with her children - we are a right pair and seem to get ill at the same time!!!

    One of the disadvantages of the job...but im hoping that I will build up an immunity in the future- can only hope! xxx

     
    Old 03-18-2005, 06:32 PM   #19
    studyin
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    Re: The anxiety returns

    Katkin - sounds great what you have been doing despite not feeling like "the full quid". Amazing. Nice to hear about your musical talent too. I have 3 guitars - a classical, 12-string acoustic, and 6-string acoustic. I really haven't played much in the last 2 years and was definitely not inspired to play while battling the monster. My fiance keeps asking me to play but I just haven't...guess I need someone to jam with to be inspired again. Glad you're feeling so good at the mo.

    Linda - I'm not sure exactly when it's a good time to cut down further to be honest. I sort of just go by my gut feeling on it. If I feel up to the challenge, I hack some more off the half tab. I was concerned that this latest anxiety thing might have been from the reduction but now that I seem to be OK again I'm considering another minor reduction. On the other hand, I'm sort of considering staying put until I get through the next 4 weeks. I don't want any anxiety freak outs messing with the workload etc. I keep wondering if there will be this really tough period of withdrawal that will hit as I get down to the final granules but maybe not. I imagine the come down from the Ativan would be very different to Cipramil. Could you swap the Ativan for valium and reduce that instead? Might be an easier trip considering valium is not as strong at a similar dose and has a longer half life (lorazepam = 12-16 hours, diazepam = 20 to 48 hours).

    Cheers...Scott

     
    Old 03-18-2005, 06:45 PM   #20
    jadeearth
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    Re: The anxiety returns

    Scott

    Sorry to see your post about anxiety returning. But sounds like you've got it under control and understand how to deal with it.There are a lot of things in life that can make us nervous, and when you are prone to anxiety it seems that this replaces just being nervous. The thing I always try and remember is that it will pass. If I can just ride it out. It will pass.

    I have had to do some speaking for a networking group I am in and gosh do I get nervous and feel shaky and feel the vestibular stuff. Ugh But I keep pushing myself, what more can we do?

    I am really trying to live normally, but it can feel challenging at times. Also, in a new relationship and hard to explain the vestibular stuff, I get so scared of the tunnels, those brain fog places where I suddenly feel unreachable, especially trying to be there for someone else. Anyone else had this sensation dealing with loved ones? But I know that I don't want to deny myself things, I don't want the vestibular monster to take away my ability to love, my ability to work and find happiness in the world, but what a fight it can feel like! I am so thankful for these boards and reading all the ways everyone is able to fight against and with the vestibular disorder. You are all so inspiring!!

    Also threw out my back and think it is messing with my vestibular stuff, anyone else ever done this?

    Take Care
    Jade

     
    Old 03-18-2005, 10:10 PM   #21
    studyin
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    Re: The anxiety returns

    Hi Jade,

    Cool to hear from you! Yup, you're right....instead of nerve racking things just making us feel overly nervous, it now has the potential to bring out that sort of anxiety that goes right to the core. It's a different animal from the usual nervy stuff I used to know. But it is getting a lot better and I can see that I'll be totally free of it sooner or later. But man, what a slow road to recovery! I always wondered what people were on about when they'd talk about post-traumatic stress disorders and the like.

    Sorry to here you blew your back out. It's likely just a muscle spasm and will come good in a few days. Our bodies seem to be prone to this stuff with the muscle tension it can bring on. I first got labs following a back incident actually. I threw it out on a Wednesday morning, was bed-ridden for 3 days, took stacks of ibuprofen (far too much) and woke up on the Saturday with the head monster.

    I feel like a real hypochondriac bringing this up, but have you had any heart burn/excess acid stomach from this? For 2 weeks straight now I keep getting this acidy stomach in the late afternoon - worse after chocolate. Didn't happen before.

    Take care...Scott

     
    Old 03-19-2005, 08:05 AM   #22
    Katkin
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    Re: The anxiety returns

    "Katkin - sounds great what you have been doing despite not feeling like "the full quid". "

    Mate ... sometimes I haven't even felt like 20p LOL!

    Dude - get playing again!!! Doo eeet!!


     
    Old 03-19-2005, 01:53 PM   #23
    jadeearth
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    Re: The anxiety returns

    Scott

    interesting you mention stomach stuff. I find the more I do the more likely that is going to come up. I get stomach pain and nausea. Could also be related to tapering of the meds. Or just plain old stress.

    I know what you mean about feeling like a hypochandriac. I feel so out of it a lot, yet I notice every little thing going on with my body. Vestibular! Ugh

    Have a great weekend everyone!
    Jade

     
    Old 03-19-2005, 07:26 PM   #24
    Stitcher317
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    Re: The anxiety returns

    Hi Scott,

    Thanks for the recommendation of switching over to Valium for my taper. I have read the Aston Manual and agree it would probably make it a bit easier. At the moment, since I have decided to do this on my own, I don't want my Dr. to pull my Rx for Ativan should I decide to stay on it....(Sounding a bit like a druggie aren't I?)
    You mentioned you are having some GERD. I too have been fighting this big time since all this nonsense started. Anxiety produces excess acid, etc.... Anyway, I have been on Prilosec for years. Works great for me and no side effects....
    BTW, still tapering and had a great day yesterday but a little fuzzy this evening. Once I get off this drug I don't want to go on anything else that has to be tapered or that your body must have... It's not fun..

    Cheers,
    Linda

     
    Old 03-20-2005, 08:08 AM   #25
    Rick49
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    Re: The anxiety returns

    Scott,
    ...I've been following your thread and haven't responded because I wanted to make sure I had time to relay what little I know. I haven't dealt with anxiety for several years but my wife went through a terrible time a couple of years ago and I would like to pass on what we learned as it might help. Useless info is better than no info, correct?
    ...One of the key words that struck me in your original post was the "coffee" statement. We found that my wife's anxiety had triggers and one of them was adrenal in nature. The "too much coffee" is definately a sign that your adrenals are working overtime. Stress was a big trigger and we found that even the adrenal type drugs (pseudoephedrine) would also trigger her anxiety. She also takes Ativan and I believe that it works by relaxing or suppressing adrenal activity.
    ...a side note on the Ativan. 1mg is pretty high for a single dose. My wife takes 2 mg /day but it's only .5 at a time though. Since the 1 mg put you out you might half a pill and see if it works and if not take the other half.
    ...She had two big triggers, the adrenal/ ephedrine trigger and underbreathing. She has a tendency to stop breathing or breath really shallow in stressful situations. The research I did on this showed that High levels of CO2 in the blood stream (acidosis) is a common trigger and is used to trigger anxiety symptoms in lab settings. This will trigger anxiety in all of us but those of us with anxiety or inner ear disorders seem to have a lot lower threshold.
    ...So not only does she have to make a concious effect to breath deeply in stressful ssituations we have to be very careful of poorly ventilated areas. I'm in charge of maintenance of several buildings and the way we check air quality is with a CO2 meter and adjust the fresh air intake so that CO2 levels stay within a certain range.
    ...Hopefully some of this will be useful. Another side note was that during my research of the anxiety drugs, I ran across a study that showed that these drugs are mainly helpful for those whose anxiety is a secondary condition adn that the drugs are a lot less effective on those whose anxiety is a primary condition.
    Rick

     
    Old 03-20-2005, 02:08 PM   #26
    Stitcher317
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    Re: The anxiety returns

    Hello Rick,
    After reading your post regarding your wife's symptoms, I feel as though I may have found a "twin". As I taper down on my Ativan I am beginning to have feelings as though I am reacting to caffeine, low blood sugar or a plain old adrenaline rush from something. The Ativan takes these feelings away in short order. Sometimes at night when I am on the computer I find myself getting lightheaded and antsy and I've noticed that my breathing is very shallow. Never connected the shallow breathing with anxiety. I also have a feeling of a constant small electric current running through me. Could this be an adrenal response?
    How long has your wife been on Ativan and has she ever felt the need to increase her daily dose? I am tapering off because I am afraid of becoming "dose tolerate" and I also think it is causing some depression and apathy. I have already decided that I will continue with it if it is indeed the only answer for handling the residual dizziness I have and the resultant anxiety.
    Thanks so much for the information. Qualilty stuff in my opinion.....

    Cheers,
    Linda

     
    Old 03-20-2005, 05:00 PM   #27
    studyin
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    Re: The anxiety returns

    Hi Rick,

    Thanks for the info - any info is always good! I like what you said here: "those of us with anxiety or inner ear disorders seem to have a lot lower threshold for anxiety". So true...but hopefully I'm raising the bar (nudging more like) every day so that it will be back to where it was prioir to this junk.

    Linda - that electricity feeling you mention is something I had many times in the past with this. Not now thankfully, but it's all anxiety stuff for sure. I'm actually wondering if it's been the red wine I've been knocking back lately that's kicking off this recent nght anxiety. I had about 2 full glasses of red on each of the 3 bad days I had last week. The night I gave it a miss, I slept fine. Had the wine again 2 nights ago and anxiety came again, last night no wine and no anxiety. Think I'll get back on the wagon for a while and see if it totally stops it or just have a half glass WITH dinner and not hours after.

    Best...Scott

     
    Old 03-21-2005, 04:21 AM   #28
    Rick49
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    Re: The anxiety returns

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Stitcher317
    Hello Rick,
    After reading your post regarding your wife's symptoms, I feel as though I may have found a "twin". As I taper down on my Ativan I am beginning to have feelings as though I am reacting to caffeine, low blood sugar or a plain old adrenaline rush from something. The Ativan takes these feelings away in short order. Sometimes at night when I am on the computer I find myself getting lightheaded and antsy and I've noticed that my breathing is very shallow. Never connected the shallow breathing with anxiety. I also have a feeling of a constant small electric current running through me. Could this be an adrenal response?
    How long has your wife been on Ativan and has she ever felt the need to increase her daily dose? I am tapering off because I am afraid of becoming "dose tolerate" and I also think it is causing some depression and apathy. I have already decided that I will continue with it if it is indeed the only answer for handling the residual dizziness I have and the resultant anxiety.
    Thanks so much for the information. Qualilty stuff in my opinion.....

    Cheers,
    Linda
    ...She's going on her second year and she got up to about 3mg per day of the Ativan. Once she stabalized and her doctor was satisfied she didn't have some other disorder, he started her on an SSRI (lexapro) and started backing her off the Ativan. I think she's down to 2 mgs per day right now. She's feeling so good that she's hesitant to taper down but the doctor and I are trying to convince her that with the SSRI, she only has to take the Ativan on an as needed basis. So I'm not sure what dosage she will end up at.
    ...It seems that the SSRI's are the safer drug to take but I'm not sure why the doctors think so. I've done a lot of research on the benzos and I'm not quite sure to make of them. There's lots of people completely and radically opposed to them for being addictive and having withdrawl symptoms that can last for years. But from all the stories that I've read it appears to me that it is their origninal symptoms that are reappearing. Benzo's cure nothing they simply mask or prevent the symptoms that they are being taken for. If a person starts taking them because their symptoms (what ever the symptoms are) are getting gradually worse, I think they have to assess for themselves, "how bad would those symptoms have goten if I never took the benzos?" And that's what that person should expect when they quit taking the drugs.
    ...Of course, being optomistic, we hope the disorder is gone, when we would quit taking them. But I think from reading all the different symptoms of withdrwl and reading the research where normal people had no withdrawl, it seems it's just a re-occurance of the original symptoms that peole experiance. Of course this is all my opinion and I didn't find any research anywhere talking about this. The only research I found was where they had people without any disorders take the benzos for a period of time and then quit taking them and there was minimal side effects. The studies never theorized as to why other people had side effects.
    Later,
    Rick

     
    Old 03-21-2005, 06:34 PM   #29
    Stitcher317
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    Re: The anxiety returns

    Hi Rick,

    WOW, you have certainly loaded us with terrific information. It's wonderful that you have taken an active role in helping your wife through this. My hubby is in the medical field (veterinarian) and has zero interest in what I am going through. He has said many times that this is just getting old. Communicating my fears, questions and thoughts on this board keeps me afloat.
    I was also given lexapro last summer but experienced some "brain zaps" on it so didn't get up to the recommended dose. I was prescribed 5mg. I thought the zaps were from withdrawal. Did your wife experience any side effects until it kicked in? After hearing how well Scott has done a Ciprimil, I think I may need to give it another try. Maybe doing a water taper, increasing the dose ever so gradually would help me get through the side effects. I am having a bit of stage fright about starting another brain altering drug. Hearing how well your wife is doing is so encouraging.....I am happy for her....what vestibular problems was she experiencing prior to the Ativan?

    Thanks again for all the great information. Hope everyone is having a great day.

    Linda

     
    Old 03-22-2005, 03:37 AM   #30
    studyin
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    Re: The anxiety returns

    Hey Linda,

    I was thinking of you today and this problem we have of how much to reduce the dose. Today was not good again. It's just bizarre how I am literally near normal one day and then totally spaced out on another. It must be the "discontinuation" symptoms the docs refer to. Last night I had a dinner that didn't agree with me. All night it was rumbling and keeping me awake off and on....when this happens, the anxiety goes off too for some reason. A night of anxiety = a spaced out freaky day for me. Well tonight I was jack of it all and had a half Ativan to calm down yet again. I've definitely had a gut full of this roller coaster ride.

    Sorry to hear the hubby still doesn't show much understanding. I've been filming med lectures recently for the internet (students access them later) and I gotta say, they are the driest bunch of people. I think they deal with so much death and disease that they kind of just switch off to trying to understand how it FEELS to be ill.

    Hope your having a great day...best,

    Scott

     
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