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    Old 10-15-2019, 04:47 PM   #1
    knockout
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    My nephew

    My sister had a baby in June. A boy and he's so cute. I went to her house a couple times to see him and I held him. As of lately, my sister brings him to our mom's house and when she's here or when our mom is around, I hold him and he doesn't cry. But I notice when I hold him when my mom and sister isn't around, he cries. He doesn't start crying right away but he does after a while. It's weird. I feel embaresst if my mom or sister comes around and they probably wonder the same thing. It's like he doesn't like his aunt or something. And, I talk to him and that. Now at the moment, my mom's
    Playfully asking him why. She's asking if he doesn't like aunty. The thing is, I'm embarrest, sad and feel like, just. I'm wondering the same thing. It's happened before too, but then when he's by himself in the play pen, sometimes he cries. So I don't know, I mean, he's a baby, but if I'm his aunt and I hold him, he cries, means he's not comfortable, why tho? I mean he's a baby, and its weird cause it makes me sad,

     
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    Old 10-16-2019, 09:02 AM   #2
    JohnR41
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    Re: My nephew

    Does his mother and grandmother hold him a lot? Maybe he's just not used to being held for any length of time.

    I have a good memory of things that happened to me as a baby: When I was over my grandparents house my mother handed me over to my grandfather because he wanted to hold me. Heck, no one asked me if it was okay! I had no choice in the matter and he started bouncing me up and down. To me he was a complete stranger and I didn't like him at all. So I started crying, what else.

    It could be that some babies just don't like being held for any length of time. They're all different but they know what they like and don't like, they're not dumb in that respect.

    The best thing to do is just be respectful of what he wants, and maybe he wants to be put down somewhere.

     
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    Old 10-16-2019, 12:54 PM   #3
    Chainsoflove
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    Re: My nephew

    Hi Knockout,

    Some babies are ultra sensitive to the feelings of the person who is holding him/her. Could you be nervous when you are holding him? Also the baby wants to be cuddled by his mother usually. That could explain why he cries when mom is not in the room. It is a possibilty that he could be hungry or tired, and is responding by crying. I don't think you are the cause, because every baby is different. In time he won't cry anymore, and you will be greatly surprised. Congratulations on being an aunt.

     
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    Old 10-16-2019, 01:37 PM   #4
    yayagirl
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    Re: My nephew

    Dear knockout,

    The baby is still an infant at his age, and is getting used to his surroundings. Babies require verbal stimulation in order to develop. He is only four months old, barely out of the womb where he only experienced being snuggled by his mother those last nine or so months.

    Though humorously this has become a topic, it is not really negative or all about you. You could laugh about it and gently pat his hand or stroke his head and say 'yeah Auntie is the meany'. That will make your touch and voice more familiar to him so he becomes comfortable with you.

    Comments about what goes on are just another way to playfully talk to baby, in this case because baby prefers being held in the way he is most used to. That is totally a normal thing. It is not at all against you.

    Babies can sense whether they are familiar with whoever holds them. For now their body sounds and how they hold him is what he knows. He just doesn't know you very well. And, he may feel uncomfortable because you are stressing rather than being relaxed. Babies can sense that. They are the same way with their own parents. They will feel more comforted by one parent than the other. It isn't an insult. Aren't we also like that even as adults? It is just human nature.

    It's not anything to upset yourself over. He is simply more used to other than people's ways than with yours. You could laugh about it or joke and say 'yeah I am the meany'.

    If you want closeness between you and this child, take your time and spend as much time as you can with him. Let the friendship and trust develop as you get to know him. Or if you really don't care, leave his care to others.

    Right now it is natural that you are more of a stranger to him than the others are, because of course those who take care of him the most are who he will likely trust the most. No worries that it is the case. This is the same for every infant human being.

    If you want closeness between you and a child, take your time and spend as much time as you can with him. Let the friendship and trust develop as you get to know him and hand him back when he is uncomfortable and can't be comforted. Right now you are more of a stranger to him than others are so he is being completely normal (and so are you).
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    Old 10-16-2019, 06:06 PM   #5
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    Re: My nephew

    Kockout, at 4 months of age, the baby is still getting his bearings...his eyesight is not super developed and babies respond to touch and hearing. Try singing to him, rocking him gently and talking soothingly to him.

    He doesnt know its "you" so dont take it personally...all he knows for sure is that you are not his mother. He will get used to you- so keep trying!
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    Old 11-09-2019, 12:46 PM   #6
    knockout
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    Re: My nephew

    Hi just want to update. Last weekend, I was at my sister's and saw my nephew. He didn't cry when I held him. I just need to see him more. The thing is, I'm only seeing him once a week. This weekend my sister and her hubby are not home so. The baby will be at my mom's. Wednesday, after work, I'm going to my mom's,

     
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