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waiting90days 04-30-2005 07:00 PM

Any ideas on my son?

My 7 year old son has been having many issues since he was at least a toddler. He is a very honest and disiplined child. Here are the things that bother us, and we are not sure what is happening with him:

- Has little to no imagination. He has a hard time understanding other children when they are playing with things such as Hot wheels, stuffed animals and the such. The only thing he enjoys playing is anything with a ball.

- Has very bad coordination. He can't understand the difference between clapping fast or slow. Jumping Jacks are too difficult for him to do.

- Does not understand music. No ability or drive to dance like an average child. He gets frustrated with this because his 2 yr sister dances and he can't.

- He takes extremely long periods to accomplish his homework. The majority of the children in his class take 15-20 min, and he averages 3.5 -4 hours to the same amount. This is with my wife giving him a proper studying enviroment and helping him alot.

- He learns some things only if put under extreme pressure from us. IE: For 2 years we could not get him to understand which shoe went on which foot, no matter how many different ways we tried to teach it, he never gets any better. When he was 5, I had enough and put him under alot of pressure by punishments and he learned it in 2 hours. This has happened with many things, enough so that it is a noticable trend.

- Has a hard time putting his thoughts into words. IE, when my wife asked him what he enjoyed doing (for a writing assisgnment), he had no answer. No matter how many questions my wife would ask he could not answer anything, except by taking my wife's idea, but with no ability to expand on it.

- Most of his problems at the moment are with reading, but especially writing (putting HIS thoughts on paper). No problems with math, actually he is one of the highest in his class.

My wife and I have thought at first that his problems were due to him being a boy and because he is learning two languages in the house (English and Japanese). However, the problems are not improving, they are getting worse. My wife and I are getting extremely exhuasted by his inability to learn simple concepts, helping him 4 hours everyday with his homework, teaching him cooridination, and lack of imagination. Any ideas? Is there something that we can do for him?


Janu 04-30-2005 07:40 PM

Re: Any ideas on my son?
All I can say is that I was born with a non-verbal learning disablity, which as a child my parents tell me i had some of the some problms your son is facing. I could bear get my shoes on the right feet and didnt not learn to tie then until late grade 3. Homework that i should have been able to do in 20 mintues was done in a few hours.
It would be my idea not to punish your son for being different but try and understand him as the person he is, don t talk down it him, treat him like an adilet. He see s the world in a totally different way then you do and you will never totally understand how he see things.
Watch the way he acts around other children dose him seem to be the outsider and picked on? If so work with him at home and check into a resource program at his school. Role play different social sitution with him.
people with non verbal have troble with math,spelling, time management etc. so i want try and get him tested by a docter, go with a list of question if you dont ask they won't tell you.
Hope this helpes and dose not offend you in any way

carla92161 05-03-2005 04:08 PM

Re: Any ideas on my son?
have they done a iep test on him in daughter also had learning disabilites such as your decribeing had trouble reading took us 3 years to teach her to spell her name mindy she was in the 6th grade before she could spell her last name..but she excelled in math and in art...she can read at a 2nd grade level and can only spell a few words but she tries hard to achive these goals which you need to sit for him as well takes lots of time but may be that he needs to be put in a learning disabilites class....good luck

Red Maple 05-04-2005 09:16 PM

Re: Any ideas on my son?
I this is my first time reading this board, and your son's problems are very similar to the students at the private school that I work for. Our school specializes in students with what we call "learning differences" rather than disablilties. I cannot emplasize enough the need for EARLY INTERVENTION. You say your son in only 7? Our school works with junior high and high school kids, and I applaud you for starting at an early age to help your son; rather than when he is in higher grades and his differences really effect his self-esteem. As he gets older, peer pressure will exerbate learning problems. Often behavioral challenges come into play as kids learn that it's more socially acceptable to act out in school than for his learning challenges to be known to his peers. Behavioral problems become a coping mechanism for children with learning difficulties to mask thier disabilities from thier peers. By that time (as is the case with many of the students I work with) the behavioral challenges further interupt the learning process. The student gets farther and farther behind, and more and more overwhelmed, to where they feel as if they will never be able to learn. Please find a psychologist who can help you. The best place to start is with your regular pediatrition. Tell him what you are noticing about your son, and ask for recommendations for a therapist. I don't know, but from your brief description, he exhibits characteristics of "Aspergers Syndrome" and can be helped with regular therapy. Please talk to your child's doctor, the school educational specialists are not enough. Your son needs to have his learning challenges diagnosed by a professional therapist so a proper learning plan can be put in place. Best of luck, you must be terrific parents to be seeking intervention now, rather than just passing it off as a "phase" he is going through. With such caring and concerned parents as his support, he will do very well to overcome whatever challenges he may face.

kw2vt 05-05-2005 07:36 AM

Re: Any ideas on my son?
I would say have him evaluated for a couple of things - Nonverbal Learning Disability, Receptive Language, Expressive Language and finally Aspergers Syndrome. The things you are describing could indicate he has a learning disability. Don't put it off because you don't want to label him, because instinct is telling you something isn't right. Trust that instinct.

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