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Maybe I'm Not Really Stupid?

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Old 04-03-2007, 08:38 AM   #1
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Texas, USA
Posts: 63
MissJessica HB User
Question Maybe I'm Not Really Stupid?

Hey Everyone

I am about to turn 27 years old. I was born very premature, and weighed in at just about 2 pounds. I wasn't supposed to live - but I did. I had gone for regular check ups at the hospital and had gone through tests when I was younger and from what my parents told me the only things that came back abnormal were my small motor skills.

My entire life I went through having "difficulties" - which really actually contributed to me feeling really stupid and ashamed. I could not do things that other kids my age could - I could not do puzzles, or cross words, or word finds. And not the normal "it takes a while", but the serious like I was unable to do even the simplest ones that are made for small children. I've always had a very hard time with small motor coordination - and grasping things that are too small or too thin. I have been referred to as "clumsy" my whole life and teased as being the one who would "forget her head if it wasn't attatched between the shoulders".

Thing is, I've gotten to the point where I am frustrated. I teach pre-school, and it's very frustrating when my kids in my class can do things that I can't - and it's frustrating if I am setting up snack and it takes a long time for me to seperate the bowls and cups because I can't maneuver my hands correctly. I am an assistant teacher, so the lead teacher sees this, and I just feel dumb.

Ofcourse there are alot of other things that affect me - these are just a few examples.

As an adult I've been Dx with having Adult ADD and am on medication for that, which helps with my focus/concentration problems.

And chances are the other things I'll probably never change - I've been like this my entire life. So I don't even know if its worth it to be tested for a LD, or to just let it be because there is no way to get better because I'm well into my 20's ?

Any thoughts?

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Old 06-08-2007, 07:47 AM   #2
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: U.S.
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blue712 HB User
Re: Maybe I'm Not Really Stupid?

it is so rare to have found your story. i too was born premature with only a 50% chance of living (weighed 3lbs) and had many of the same childhood difficulties (some of which continue today). i also dealt with similar childhood trauma and being teased about being too little and i remember the names they called me. then of course the way i was made to feel as though i were mentally retarded by my teachers who did not understand why my motorskills were so poor or why i wasnt learning the way the other children were. i remember i was the target of agression for my older sisters because they would be stuck doing all the chores and everything else that needed tending but i wasnt allowed to do them because i was either too small and just didnt have the necessary control, like over the the vacuum or i would break something, especially if ever i put the dishes away. i still have trouble in school but i managed to get by, i just graduated highschool. i was prescribed medication for my ADD as well. for a long time i was in remedial classes throughout my whole student career, that is up until i turned 18 and refused it my senior year. to be honest, i wish i had gotten the extra help but at least i did well prior to that year and have gotten accepted to my first choice college.
anyway, what i want to get across is that i can definitely relate.
i believe you should get tested for an LD (granted you are able and have sufficient funds).i was held back in 2nd grade and thats when i was tested. i did, and if i handnt, i too would have gone on believing i was stupid rather than knowing there is something more to it and there is a reason i am the way i am. in addition, depending on the disorder, their are ways you can find to cope with them and/or compensate. if you are tested and you discover that you do have an LD,then at least you can be more conscious of it and it may help you to identify your prolblem areas and maybe a different method of approaching them.
not to sound too fourth right or rude, but you could have gotten off a lot worse. not only is it amazing that you lived through your ordeal, but you really have overcome a lot. i think your strong for the battle you have endured and for continuing to live your life.

Old 06-08-2007, 03:09 PM   #3
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 310
SuchGreatHeight HB User
Re: Maybe I'm Not Really Stupid?

It could be some kind of LD, or maybe something as to Dyspraxia. Dyspraxia is the partial loss of the ability to coordinate and perform certain purposeful movements and gestures (with the absence of motor or sensory impairments). You specifically may have "developmental dyspraxia", associated with failure or delay of normal neurological development, considering you bein pre-mature. Just my guess.

I'd see a specialist. Dyspraxia and other LD's can be brought on by trauma, like birth trauma.


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