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    Old 12-03-2006, 01:25 PM   #1
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    I'm so ANGRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Does anybody else here feel as though you shell out money time and again to go see doctors, only to not have them not listen to anything that you say?????

    I just received the medical records I requested from a primary care doctor I saw on two occasions this last year, and his dictated notes, along with records from the other specialists I had seen around that time were included. I had switched to this doctor after a different primary care doctor had ordered some tests for me.. tests which had already showed that I had five nodules surrounding thyroid area, as well as an enlarged lymph node that is on the side of my neck. I had switched to this doctor because this other one didn't think any of those results warranted me seeing an endocrinologist.. even though my thyroglobulin antibodies were way high, out of range, I've had Hashimoto's since 2000, and been on replacement meds ever since, along with the fact that you don't just see five nodules and a lymph node and do nothing about it. Hello????

    So, apparently switching to a different doctor doesn't change a thing.
    This new one dictated in his notes that "This is a 29 year-old female who has right-sided jugulardigastric enlarged lymph nodes, and surrounding nodules recently found on Ultrasound, and MRI. She was subsequently diagnosed with Hashimoto's, and put on thyroid replacement, and is not feeling any better."

    Hello??????????? I was diagnosed with Hashimoto's in 2000, and have been on thyroid replacement for the last six years!!!!!! And I TOLD him that!!!!
    I wasn't feeling well for the last year and a half, and I was waiting to see a Rhematologist!!! Did he listen to any of those symptoms that I mentioned either? Of course not!!! And the Rheum. a few weeks later, by the way, actually listened to me, spent at least an hour reviewing all of my past medical history and symptoms, and put me on Plaquenil, saying that I most likely have at least Connective Tissue Disease, if not Lupus.. He said he was leaning more towards Lupus, and was curious to see how I reacted to the Plaquenil.

    Oh, and by the way, this primary-care doctor laughed out loud and doubled over with laughter when I told him that I had a tentative diagnosis of Lupus.
    He proceeds in his second dictation (after I had seen the Rheum.) to say that "They suggested a possible diagnosis of systemic lupus on the basis of photosensitivity and abnormal ANA. To my examination,she does not have classical criteria for lupus, and I cautioned her to be careful about labeling herself with that." (He didn't even examine me at all!!! He hadn't even looked at my chart more than one second before he came in the room, and that was it!!! I was out of there three minutes later after he asked what the specialists I went to had said!!) Also, my diagnosis was based on WAY more than just those two things, and I sat there and TOLD him what they were when, after he got done laughing, he asked in his condescending voice of, "So what exactly makes him think you might have Lupus?" I listed off the extreme, constant fatigue, even after a full-night's sleep as the very first thing. And proceeded with the bad muscle and joint pain, sunlight sensitivity, facial rash (which the Rheum. confirmed seeing in his notes), constant mild fevers, lab indicators in the present and past, frequent nausea, etc..

    I then saw an ENT that this doctor decided to send me to for the enlarged lymph nodes, who obviously didn't listen to anything at all that I said to him either, because his notes state, " We saw this patient who was complaining about a right-sided jugulodigastric lymph node, which she said had been there for many years, and there has been no significant change." WHAT??????? I specifically pointed out to this doctor and showed him that there is one right near my chin area that has gone up and down over the years, for as long as I can remember, but the one BELOW it, the bigger one, is the one that the primary care doctor was concerned about, and was the REASON I WAS SEEING HIM.

    So, the only other thing he says in his notes are.. "We discussed the various options with her including observation and needle biopsy. The patient wants to watch this at the present time since she states that this has been there for many years."

    How amazing is that? Is it just me, or does it seem obvious that he did not listen to me at all???

    I am so angry at doctors that I don't know what to do anymore. I've had three other major occasions at this point in the last few years where doctors completely disrespected me and didn't think I warranted any real medical attention. One of them being at Christmas time two years ago, when I had a surgery to remove breast implants. This was something I decided I just didn't want in my body anymore since I'd had them for five years, and always felt that they may have been what contributed to the autoimmune thyroid disease diagnosis.

    Anyway, the plastic surgeon I used first of all, decided I looked healthy to her I guess, so didn't do ANY pre-operative testing on me whatsoever. No labs, no nothing. Then, during the actual surgery, she goofed on something, and tried to smooth it over after-surgery by telling my Mom something about that I might have more swelling or pain on my left side because she had to cut more into the muscle area there. Hmm.. interesting how, once I got a hold of my Op. notes, since I worked at that same facility, and was able to print them out, it said nothing at all about having to cut anything, and that the capsules were thin, and that the blood loss was minimal.

    Funny how I ended up being rushed to the ER two days after the surgery from having lost so much blood at home (in drains that were placed). My mother had been my caretaker, and reported the exact blood loss to the surgeon over the phone, who said,"wow, that's a lot", and proceeded to ask my mom if I needed anymore pain killers, and that was it... no advice, no nothing. (FYI, three doctors I had seen afterwards said it sounded like a vessel that wasn't clipped off, and left to bleed).

    By the time my mom decided to rush me to the ER late the next day (she had no way of knowing what was going on since the surgeon had acted like everything was fine, and the PA on-call at the hospital she talked to that next day,when I was even sicker, seemed irritated with her for calling more than once), I was on the verge of passing out, my pulse was 151, and when they drew my blood, the Hematocrit was only 20, and Hemoglobin 7.2).
    Needless to say, I was admitted right away, put in ICU, and given blood transfusions. Oh, and also, they did extensive testing in the ER for a possible blood clot because my left arm area had swollen up to twice it's normal size, and was black and blue and yellow.

    So anyway... like myself, does anyone out there feel like they have just reached a point of not trusting any doctors with your life ever again??
    I am getting ready to switch to a new primary care doctor, as well as get a second opinion on the lymph node, which even the Rhematologist is still suspicious about, and I feel that no matter who I choose, it will all be the same as before... the doctors will take one look at me, say to themselves, oh, she's only 30, looks fine, etc., and not listen to anything that I politely and professionally try to say to them.

    I am even still debating back and forth every day about continuing school to become a nurse because I feel as though I am just going to be angry all of the time having to be around doctors, who most of them I feel just don't care about the patient at all. I honestly just feel that they are in the medical profession for the money..that's it.

    I hope this doesn't sound extremely negative.. I just feel so distrustful of the world these days.. I'm trying so hard not to be.. It just seems to have such a hold on me lately. I feel as though I must be unworthy of quality medical treatment.

    Thanks to you all for taking the time to read this, I know it was long. Any advice, stories you can share, etc. is appreciated!


    Last edited by enigma3; 12-03-2006 at 01:35 PM.

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    Old 12-03-2006, 02:43 PM   #2
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    Re: I'm so ANGRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Hi, Enigma. I almost wrote a few days back when you first mentioned your primary care dr. *laughing* at your rheumie's Dx of lupus. How hideously WRONG of him. But I think doctors LIKE to put one another down---which is a way of putting YOU down, too, simultaneously, I think. And to what end? They're highjacking YOUR appt. to play their power & put-down games.

    My (then) OB/GYN also laughed when I answered his question, "What's changed since your last appt.?" Told him I'd been Dx'ed with lupus. He had the nerve to say forcefully, "You do NOT have lupus." (I think they learn that laugh in med school, "Laughter & Derision 101", or something.)

    So I smiled back & gave him a very sympathetic look. I said, kindly, "You do NOT want to to go mano-a-mano with this man." Then I waited quietly for his response. (Let HIM ask for more info, I thought.)

    And, of course, he promptly did. He almost shouted, "Why not?" I said, "This is awkward... I'm afraid he'd hand you your head on a platter." Then I made him ask before I told him the rheumie's last name, which he didn't know because he expected someone local. Then I made him ask for the rheumie's hospital affiliation & specialty, and he got red. Then I made him ask for address & city, and he got redder yet. (I'm thinking, HA!) Then I left, still shaking my head mournfully.

    But, you know, this was a head game on my part, too, and I'm not happy I did it. Not exactly unhappy, mind you. But that I got bullied verbally: that made me very unhappy.

    Maybe a better response would be to say to such a doctor, "Well, a specialist HAS TO HAVE the last say." That probably hits home hard, as I suspect that's ANOTHER pecking-order issue with drs.---that many GP's feel underpaid and disrespected by specialists. So they (stupidly) take it out on the PATIENT.

    All that aside... My hat's off to you for striving so hard for answers and getting as far as you have. You musn't allow this small person with his resentments and his rudeness to derail you. You've struggled so hard to make it this far. And he may actually have done you a favor, in a weird way, by compelling you to move on & away from him. So just keep going the smart things, OK? And hang in there! Best wishes! Sincerely, Vee

    P.S. There's that famous saying---I had to ask my husband to help me remember ---something along the lines that we can forgive the people who have wronged US, but not the people whom WE have wronged. By that standard, that PC will be mad at you forever.

    Old 12-03-2006, 03:06 PM   #3
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    Re: I'm so ANGRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Vee! Thank you your empathy. You certainly sound like you have had your share of the patient-is-always-wrong, and doctor-always-has-to-be-right curse.

    I liked the famous saying at the end of your post.. It is true isn't it? I am going to keep trying to remind myself of that. It's what I have been trying to do today, but somehow I just have stayed so worked-up over all of the injustice, not just that was done to me, but to all of the other ill people out there .

    I just don't understand how so many so-called doctors get away with such disrespectfulness and cruel treatment of patients, as well as mistakes that they refuse to admit to, (as in my experience), and would rather see a patient possibly lose their life than have to take responsibility for what they know they have done and take action to correct it.

    Anyhow, I do thank you for your reply Vee. It's good to know I'm not completely alone in all of this.


    Old 12-04-2006, 01:19 PM   #4
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    Re: I'm so ANGRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Enigma 3, I too have been down the road of utter disbelief and disgust with Drs. I was mis diagnosed with ringworm (actually it was a rash from sle) and given a drug people with Lupus are allergic to. When I had a bad reaction and called the Dr. to ask if they could give me something else instead, the nurse implied that the only way I could have had a bad reaction was if I had combined the drug with another drug or illegal substance. Oh, and let's not forget the time I went to the ER with 2 kidney stones a UTI and an ovarian cyst....The Dr. sent me home with a script for Vicodin and anti biotic which I couldn't get filled (small town, New Years day), and told me to go home and drink a 6 pack of beer. I told him I had never drank a beer before and didn't want to now, wasn't there something he could do? He shrugged his shoulders laughed and walked off. Oh, and then there was the Dr. who my dad saw for his pain meds etc. when he was dying of lung cancer. He was running out of his pain meds, so my mom called a few days in advance so they could get a new script before the weekend. They never heard back from the Dr. so they called again 2 more times. The receptionist was nasty to them the last time saying they would call something in. Fri. afternoon when nothing had been called in, mom called the Dr.s office only to find out he'd left early for a golf trip . Dad suffered terribly over the weekend with no pain meds. So yes, I guess you could say I don't trust or like most Drs. Also Enigma, these stories are far from isolated, my mom is a nurse, and the stuff she tells me about the way patients are treated makes me want to cry and scream sometimes. Think long and hard about the occupation of nursing.

    Old 12-05-2006, 11:16 AM   #5
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    Re: I'm so ANGRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Thank you RealisticChic for sharing your experiences.

    That is so terrible about your father.. It made me angry just reading about it. And I can't say I was surprised either, sad to say.

    I am defintely thinking over this nursing thing.. I honestly don't know how nurses deal with all of the unfairness around them. I do think it is interesting though how many times I have noticed that most nurses seem stressed out and unhappy in their job. I've observed this as a patient, as well as while working in the medical field for the last six years or so.

    Some days I really have to wonder if all of these experiences I have had time and time again are for a reason, and maybe it is because it has given me the compassion and understanding to help others.. Because all I know is that there sure are a lot of "medical professionals" out there who don't.


    Old 12-07-2006, 12:40 PM   #6
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    Re: I'm so ANGRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I too have been having Dr nightmares - I have seen 3 rheumies, and 1 Neurologist so far - I have the symptoms for Lupus, and a positive ANA, but too them that is not enough. I am sick all the time, and my joints in my hand and feet get so bad, it's hard to walk to write. But they haven't treated me for anything so far. I ended up in the Er with a migraine and seizures, but the Neurologist put me on Neurontin, and said - take care. My reg dr is going to try and get me into the University of Washington medical center, but that is a process that may take awhile, as she has to write them a letter, and then they decide if they want to take me on as a patient or not - so we will see. In the meatime, I get sicker and sicker, and weaker and weaker - it sure doesn't seem to make sense does it. I guess we all just have to stick together and keep fighting. To me it makes it easier to be able to talk with people here that are going through the same thing.

    Old 12-08-2006, 02:13 PM   #7
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    Re: I'm so ANGRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Whoa whoa whoa guys! What medicine needs is MORE NURSES. What we need is a new generation who aren't afraid to stand up and say that what is going on is wrong. And what you have to realize is that healthcare isn't about the patient anymore, it's about money. It's not all the doctors faults. Sometimes their hands are tied by insurance companies and the hospitals they work for. Is it wrong? YES. But what we need is all of us writing our congressmen and senators, and insurance companies, and telling them that we are not going to take it anymore. I have met my share of bad doctors, (one told me I had to look elsewhere for an explanation of my fatigue, because after all she was tired too. This was a doctor at the Mayo clinic). But I am an advocate for my own healthcare, and choose to argue my case and not let doctors walk all over me. If I don't see one that listens to me, then I simply don't go back.
    Would I choose to be a nurse again? Absolutely not. But it's not because of the uncaring doctors (and I know quite a few), it's because the system is broken and doesn't allow us to be nurses anymore. We are overworked, understaffed, paper pushers. I do however have nothing but admiration for quite a few doctors who I see as sent from God.
    I was labeled quite a few times as pretty much being a hypochondriac. But you know what? I knew I was sick, and over 10 years my symptoms and labs backed me up. And I finally found a doctor that listens. Don't give up--all of us have been there. It's a long, frustrating road to diagnosis. Trust your instincts--you know yourself better than anyone. If you know a symptom is there, keep looking until you find a doctor that agrees. Ignore the doctors who don't believe you. They are only human, and some make honest mistakes. For those who are just cruel, I like to think that life is a great equalizer, and they will someday be on the other side of the fence.

    Old 12-08-2006, 03:23 PM   #8
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    Re: I'm so ANGRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Pambyboo, You are so right: you must trust your own instincts. My mantra, which I muttered to myself while slinking out of an unsatisfactory appt., was "NOW you'll find out what you're made of." Meaning, I knew I'd have to wait until I had some new bumper crop of obvious symptoms, then try again.

    My other mantra: "Whatever it takes!"

    I hope all of you who are seeking answers & treatment keep at it. With my best to everyone, V.

    Old 01-02-2007, 02:51 PM   #9
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    Unhappy I Don't Blame You...............

    Hi Lisa, you have every right to be angry. I've been treated the same way you have, by doctors, for the past 20 years. As of right now, I'm not seeing any doctors and I've weaned off all medications. I'm actually controlling my Lupus better with just reducing stress, rest, healthy diet, vitamins, water and walking, than I did under the doctors care. They were constantly labeling me as everything but Lupus, until 2006. They still don't take me seriously. They were still constantly sending me in for X-RAYS. Then 7-10 days after the X-RAYS, I would start having a Lupus Flare Up, which would last for weeks and my hair would start falling out in bunches. Every time I told a doctor, "no more X-RAYS" and why, they would just laugh and say "X-RAYS are very safe". I would respond, "They may be safe for a healthy person, with a good immune system, but not for someone with Lupus". I've had Lupus symptoms ever since I was pregnant, 20 years ago. I was constantly telling my doctors that, my tiredness was not a normal pregnant woman's tiredness. This was much more. They just laughed and said "It's just your age. Your energy will come back after the Baby is born". Well, it's been 20 years, where's my energy? I wish you and I both could find decent, understanding doctors, who really know how to treat Lupus. The doctors in my area are clueless and they all seem to think that everyone who comes through their door, wants a disability check. I've never asked or even thought of asking for disability. I just want to get well. All they've done for me in the past is make my condition worse. I leave the doctor's office feeling degraded, useless and insignificant. I feel as if I was only there to make their car or house payment. I really understand how you feel. I feel as if I'm on some Doctor Hit List. The list of patients, who are deemed as useless human beings. I'm a Homemaker, but the nurses always laugh and say, "The system doesn't recognize you as a Homemaker. You are listed as unemployed". Take care of yourself. Hang in there!

    Old 01-03-2007, 04:41 PM   #10
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    Re: I'm so ANGRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    hey there,

    just a quick chip in.

    kidney doctor sent me out of hospital with blood in urine and pain in my kidneys.

    er sent me out after a year of seizures.

    er sent me home after detecting increased pressure in my brain

    the neurologist who finally diagnosed me with epilepsy told me therre was a rumour going round i did drugs.

    that was spread my the nasty kidney doctor.

    i was branded hypochondriac and somatisation disorder

    told everyone gets a bit of curvature of the spine when my spine had inflammtion.

    told i wasn't having a reaction to a nsad drug when i was gasping for air.

    that i don't have asthma when i already have anasthma nurse.

    told i did not need blood thinners when a top rheumie had prescribed them

    told by my gp i have got a headache and why not take a walk in the sunshine

    then my gp turns round a year and half later and says to me i have got lupus but does not or is not able to help me when things go wrong

    im still in a pickle with all this and waiting to get to the right doctor my life is hell.

    im a bit complex a lot of a mess. beeen having blood and protein in my urine for ages and had nothing done about it. now i find i have cns problems and am a neuro wreck

    i have met one doctor in about 60 who i have seeen who is both professional and cares but even he is to slow.


    Old 01-10-2007, 09:10 AM   #11
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    Re: I'm so ANGRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I once too wanted to go in for nursing until having to be the patient all of the time. We have no clue what exactly is wrong but I had a doc at the ER when I was having pleuricy, he put on my record "questionable drug seeker". I was 16.
    For a while we were told that I had gone into anaplalatic shock once and that I needed to use my eip pen if it came up again. Well I used it last year in the car on the wasy to the ER and I grabbed it the wrrong way i panic, it ent through my thumb (both sides). They asked me why I felt I needed to use it. I was broken out in this rash all ovr and it was spreading and all they cared about whas getting the needle out. They gave me a shot of benedryl and tod me I was being discharged, I asked what about it spreading they said "we've done what e could do".
    I had a doc yesterday tell me that my extreme abdominal pain could be from depression. RIGHT. And asked me if I saw a psychiatrist.

    Good luck with everything in your life.

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