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Old 06-03-2003, 04:52 PM   #1
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Lehigh, FL USA
Posts: 1
iluvstrawberryz HB User
Question Lupus Support

My best friend was recently diagnosed with lupus. I am still doing my research on the disease, but if any of you could give me some tips on what to do to support her it would be great, she is having a hard time dealing with it since she also has arthritis in her whole body, and she is only 14 years old. any suggestions would be nice. thanks

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Old 06-05-2003, 10:53 AM   #2
Denise F
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Ohio
Posts: 222
Denise F HB User

The most important thing is to treat your friend like
you always did. Just be sensitive to her needs and let
her know that she can talk to you any time she wants
about anything. You don't have to have any answers
for her just listen, it helps. Some people think they
have to ask you anytime they see you how you are feeling.
But most the time I would rather they not mention it
unless I bring up the topic. Sometimes we just don't
want to think about it. It's great to be with friends
that can laugh and joke with you just like always.
Laughter is the best medicine.


Old 06-07-2003, 07:55 PM   #3
Senior Veteran
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Virginia, USA
Posts: 2,347
BarbaraH HB UserBarbaraH HB UserBarbaraH HB UserBarbaraH HB User

Hi, It's kind that you are seeking ways to help your friend and to understand what her illness is like.

One of the most annoying things about lupus is how utterly tired you are from doing almost nothing. Your friend may need an afternoon nap or be too tired to go out to a movie. Invite her as you would normally, but don't have your feelings hurt if she sometimes declines the invitation - she might not want to say she's too tired again.

Lupus folks cannot spend much time in the sun either because it can make the aches, pains, and fatigue worse. My doctor told me it would be okay to walk from a building to the car, might be okay to be in deep shade in the late afternoon for an hour or so, and never to plan a day at the beach.

If your friend's hands hurt, she might need help opening a soft drink bottle or can or a stubborn bag of chips. Play down being helpful and make it seem like it's no big deal.

Help her other friends understand she's the same person as always and teach then what you've learned here so they can be quietly helpful, too.

I echo what has been said, treat your friend like always. She's lucky to have a good friend like you!

Peace - Barbara


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