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how to deal with this???

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Old 09-24-2009, 10:12 AM   #1
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Location: Iowa
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rchar HB User
how to deal with this???

I posted earlier that i'm not yet officially diagnosed but all syptoms point to RA or Lupus and i should find out soon. I feel like such a complainer!! When i'm having pain or am so tired, i feel like i'm just a lazy ***!! I was always so active and kept my home in tip top shape, but i feel too darn tired all the time to do what i used to! We have a 4000 sq foot home, and we just put it up for sale. Time to downsize i think!! I think my husband understands, but not 100% sure. He acts like he does and never complains if he comes home and it's not clean or if dinner isn't ready. And if someone asks what is wrong and i say "i may have Lupus or RA...not sure yet" I feel as if they are looking at me thinking you sure don't LOOK sick. And i HATE to say that i feel bad...again i feel like a complainer and a hypochondriac (sp?). I feel like i'm jumping to conclusions with every new symptom i get. If i am diagnosed with this how do you make people understand? My x husband told me the other day i need to get off my lazy *** and get a job! I wanted to murder him!!! If he wasn't on my bad side before he sure as hell is now!! People i don't know i'm not too worried about cause i could care less what they think!! It's my family and friends. I don't think some of them know how serious these diseases can be!!

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Old 09-24-2009, 06:18 PM   #2
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Brielle, NJ
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heidiclouser HB User
Re: how to deal with this???

Waiting for a dx is difficult. I hope you have a good doctor.

Many of us can appreciate how you feel. I've spent much of my week on the couch watching mindless tv. I haven't cooked for a month. My husband has loaded and unloaded the dishwasher numerous times. I have a huge pile of dirty clothes that need to be attended to (or I have to find the energy to get to a store to buy more underware).

Regarding other's will have to be an educator. If it is lupus you should get Daniel Wallace's The Lupus Book. It will answer almost any question you have. Then you have to give people the facts. Another thing you might do is have your husband read some of these boards. Choose a topic that effects you. He'll see other's views/opinions about the topic.

Remember you will have good and bad days. By the way...I think there is a good reason your x is a x.

Old 09-25-2009, 08:44 AM   #3
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rchar HB User
Re: how to deal with this???

Thanks so much for you reply!! It does help a little to know others deal with the same thing as far as being tired! Last night i went to bed at 10 pm came down to the couch at 5 am and slept til 10am! Again it does seem my husband helps, but my kids are 11 and 13 and i make them unload dishwasher, take out trash, and fold clothes so that helps alot. And your right about reason for being an x.....that's not the half of it!! lol Thanks!!!


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