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where i've been and all!! (and why i'm worse too)

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Old 08-29-2006, 08:30 AM   #1
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Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 205
earle HB User
where i've been and all!! (and why i'm worse too)

this will be nother long one, so go grab a coke or something and sit down. i haven't posted much as i've been pretty ill and what with doctor problems, i'm a real wreck.

my grandson, well, actually hubbie's grandson, cause i have a stepdaughter, had to have open heart surgery. he's only about 1 1/2. it went ok but my step daughter called to say she needed help with her housework and the other child and all, so hubbie graciously volunteered me to to go baltimore. and i hate to fly by the way. oh and let's not forget we paid for the bloody ticket costing us 550 out of our pockets.

so i get up there and she lives in a 3 story townhome and to top it off, i've gained a lot of weight. so for over a week, i cleaned cat boxes, did laundry, dishes, cleaned bathrooms. and what did i get? they went to red lobster and brought me back a cold mcdonalds hamburger!!! i am so hacked at her i can't see straight. oh and let's not forget paid for the groceries and cooked for those ungrateful wretches!! i mean home cooked casseroles, veggies and all. and her little wonderful daughter informed me that my food smelled bad and she ate only mcdonalds chicken and she was going to tell her mother. i told her go right ahead, cause i don't care, cause i ain't coming back. at that point, i really didn't care what happened.

i tried to vacuum but the contained was so full i could barely get it out of the vacuum. she also politely suggested i wash the walls because the kids had them so marked up. when i asked what HER mother did when she came up, she replied that she played with the kids and they went shopping. oh, isn't that just hunky dory!!! the wicked stepmother of cinderella has to do all the cleaning and her mother just sits on her but and enjoys herself..........

she's spoiled rotten and because she didn't get this promotion, she''s quitting her job and she makes 116,000 a year. what a brat!!. she and her husband make around 250 grand a year and complain all the time. her house is filthy, and she won't even put a dang glass in the laundry. one baby bottle was old and the milk in it was curdled!!!

i am a compulsive cleaner and threw out a bunch of stuff. right, she put it right back, so i quit. my plane was leaving at 10 and that creep took me to the airport at 5 in the morning.

so when i got back on tuesday, hubbie had promised his sister to go to santa fe. i get in the car on thursday morning and drove over 600 miles to santa fe.

so when i got back, i literally could not get out of bed. my shoulders, arms, especially joints are so painful now that darvon won't touch the pain.

my eyes are much worse and so are my ears.

since my doc has me off meds, i'm going to try the schardt protocol of dilfucan and antibiotics i think. she may not go for this but i've got to try.

the stress of all this and hubbie retiring is getting to me. that and the dang doctor who billed my insurance company for 4100 for 7 lousey visits.

well, sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.

so that's why i haven't been around much. see that some others have left. wonder if they have gotten better or not.

i have no trips planned except my big vacation to wyoming in october. till then i am not cleaning anybody's house except my own and i ain't going nowhere.

Last edited by earle; 08-29-2006 at 08:34 AM.

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Old 08-29-2006, 10:48 AM   #2
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Posts: 634
brid HB User
Re: where i've been and all!! (and why i'm worse too)

dear earl!! that sounds scary!!!!! is amazing how is peolple like this!! that think they deserve everything and cant appreciatte the huge effort you are doing!! is they make all that money, they should have hire a maid!!at least for 1 month!!! was a horrible time you are having!!! hope you can go back home right away!and never go back there again!!! your health should be the most important thing for you! i cant imagine them having you to put all those things!! the other day, my washing machine broke down and decide to wash my clothes my self, i though i had broken my arm!!! was so painfull, i got soo i can imagine you doing all that stuff!!! one home remedy i have tryed and work is hot water with salt, you fut your feet or the arms that hurt, and believe me, it works!!! hope you got back to your peace again!!! and if you are still there, do nothing but rest!!! big hugs!

Old 08-29-2006, 01:38 PM   #3
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: NJ
Posts: 1,944
6Blues HB User6Blues HB User6Blues HB User
Re: where i've been and all!! (and why i'm worse too)

Hi earle.

Good to hear but not good to see that you're not taking care of yourself.

Maybe you can treat yourself like you would a friend?

Your health comes first. Thats it. No if's, and's, or but's. If you don't have your health - you have nothing. You need to prioritze your life so that (within reason) your health is #1.

That means you eat healthy, drink water, do physical things only that you can easily handle, reduce stress, etc.

If you politely say no to visiting someone who needs your help, perhaps you can offer to pay a cleaning service - and not expect a word of thanks.

If you expect manners from a rude person - you are stressing yourself out. You need to stop stress - not add more.

If you decline a trip to Sante Fe, I think the sun will still rise tomorrow and if folks don't like that you are taking care of yourself, than nuts to them.

It is possible to say no to people who need you - and still be a caring person.

The doctor bills are there - that may be a fact. Stress and worry will do nothing to get them paid. Deep breath now. No one will come arrest you, you will be fine. And even if you are responsible for the outrageous bill (which I doubt) you can always work out a payment plan of a little a month.

But don't worry about it anymore. Give your worries to God. Or, what helps me sometimes, is to take a tiny step or some small action towards a task and then I feel better and I can worry less.

Stress reduces the "good" hormones in your body and increases the "bad" hormones. Your body is already fighting off bad stuff, you need to help it along you can.

No one will take care of you, but you. And who knows, if folks see that you do take it easy and take care of yourself - maybe they will starting treating you more gently.

PLEASE take care of yourself.

Peace and health and serenity to you.

Old 08-29-2006, 05:48 PM   #4
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: New England
Posts: 1,218
sleeperwoken HB User
Re: where i've been and all!! (and why i'm worse too)

earle! My goodness you have been killing yourself!!! What a horrible story you tell. One thing I have learned about this hateful disease is that NO ONE understands and they will just keep using you up until you just say NO MORE! You have to say no to these people. Honestly, you are running yourself ragged, you poor thing. Just stop and stay put and take care of yourself or they will run you right into the ground.

Your step daughter obviously makes enough money to hire someone to clean the dirty walls in her house. If she is too cheap to do that then she will have to live with some dirt, just like the rest of us do.

Have a talk with that hubby of yours too. He is going out of his way for everyone, but he's not realizing that you need his concern also.

Sorry to be so bossy, but I hate to hear you this way. You are tired and you need a break. I hope you get one soon.

Old 08-29-2006, 06:15 PM   #5
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Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 1,247
Pearlscale HB User
Re: where i've been and all!! (and why i'm worse too)

I read a book once that talked about taking care of yourself. Saying NO. I remember it saying you need to practice saying it.

In a nice way bring it up to your husband. Tell him your feelings. He is not seeing you as sick. He is seeing you doing and pushing. Like the others said, you have to put yourself first and say NO.

Do take it easy and don't do a thing until your vacation. Even then, you need to remember not to push it.


Old 08-31-2006, 03:54 AM   #6
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Lancashire, England
Posts: 217
janetclarkson HB User
Re: where i've been and all!! (and why i'm worse too)

Hi Earle,

I can't believe what some people are like! This would have worn out the patience of a saint, but to deal with it whilst you are ill!!!! To even ask a sick person to do all this, especially when they can obviously afford to pay some-one to do it for them, is totally unbelievable.

You have a perfect excuse to say no to any future requests, as they obviously didn't appreciate your help anyway.

You take care of yourself. People who put themselves first all the time can't expect you to do otherwise yourself.

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