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  • i just want to be normal again and feel good

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    Old 07-30-2005, 11:41 AM   #1
    1awesomegranny
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    Unhappy i just want to be normal again and feel good

    Hi Ladies,
    I really hesitated about posting this but I just need to share my woes with someone....my friends are tired of it I'm sure and I don't tell my family much cause I don't want them to worry. I apologize for the lengthy post and if no one answers its okay I just needed to get it out of my system.
    The last 6 weeks have been very very hard on me. It started with a bout of constipation (which NEVER happens to me) and from there my stomach and bowels have been messed up ever since. I've lost about 10 lbs from not eating enough, or being afraid to eat...I stopped taking my prilosec because since my tummy was problematic I thought maybe I didnt' have enough acid...bad move, got reflux again so bad I thought I would die. Doc put me on aciphex and it is helping with the acid. Can excess stomach acid mess up your body badly? Period was 9 days late which set me off on top of already having major health anxiety about the stomach/bowels...I wake up in the middle of the nite all aggitated and hot faced and disoriented and can't go back to sleep for a couple hours (luckily I don't have to be at work until noon). I take ativan when I can't stand it anymore and that helps for a little while but its still there. Doc had me on buspar and although it helped during the day, it made me have night terrors, so I stopped that. I'm nauseaus, no vomiting, just gagging and dry heaves...my left side is where most of the trouble is, sometimes on my right also, about bra strap line on the side and back and radiating down a bit and around to the side of the abdomen. Heating pads help a bit, and when the burbles and gurgles and noises happen its alway on the left and then I feel better for a couple hours. And to top that all off (I know this is disjointed and rambling, I'm sorry i'm just scared) the night before last I started having bloody stools with mucus chunks (bright red) so that REALLY freaked me out on top of all this and having my period at the same time..( it was bowels, not from period, I checked). Called the doc, he thought I just have a raw spot in my intestine from all the stomach acid over the last month and put me on the BRAT diet...which worked, today no blood and no mucus. (had a friend that this happened to in college from too much popcorn, but man was I freaked!!) My period has ended too, not many clots this time like previously but lots of bright red bloody mucus on the tp toward the end. My problem is over analyzing everything...period, blood in stool, kidney hurts...must be ovarian cancer, a ruptured cyst, kidney problems, colon cancer...gawd I'm such a mess. I can't make myself eat hardly for fear I'm gonna get sick, I get stomach pain when I don't eat...yellow diarrhea...I have an appt thursday for my pap and physical and hopefully I'll be feeling better a bit by then. I can't stand much more of this. I'm on these boards way too much looking for symptoms like mine and scaring myself to death, but I'm worried. I can't take anything for the discomfort, it makes me more nauseaus, even tylenol. I do actually have an hour or so here and there where I feel almost normal....but then it all hits again....nausea until I either eat or have a bowel movement...and then when I eat I get the left side discomfort about 2 hours later until the burbling starts. The nurse thinks kidneys cause of the area the pain is in and that not much is on the left side but I seem to be voiding all right and it doesn't appear bloody or cloudy. I think I'm just nuts, I've went over the edge and can't find my way back. Has anyone else ever felt these things and PLEASE what did you do to help it?
    Conni

     
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    Old 07-30-2005, 11:57 AM   #2
    chillijava
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    Re: i just want to be normal again and feel good

    hi conni
    do you suffer from ibs?
    i would get this all checked out with you doc, at least it would set your mind at rest and maybe if you know there is nothing wrong it would settle your mind and help with the anxiety
    keep us posted


    andrea

     
    Old 07-30-2005, 12:29 PM   #3
    1awesomegranny
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    Re: i just want to be normal again and feel good

    Hi Andrea,
    I do have ibs and gerd, no testing done for it but thats what the doc says. I'm to the point now I'd take any test to see what was wrong Thanx for the reply
    Conni

     
    Old 07-30-2005, 03:31 PM   #4
    Sissypie
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    Re: i just want to be normal again and feel good

    Connie,

    I wish I had the magical answers for you, but unfortunately I'm just starting this fun little journey myself.

    As I read your post, I felt a lot of the axiety and fear that I've faced. For me, it's the just not knowing what's going on that drives me nuts. I have never been sick much during my life with the exception of migraines. Now, it seems every time I turn around something new is happening. Sometimes it feels like it must be something seriously wrong to have all the symptoms that come with perimenopause. I mean....what doesn't it cause would be an easier list to come up with. When I first found this board, I totally overwhelmed myself with the symptoms that I could be facing. Even knowing full well that not everyone experiences them all, I had myself just freaked out!
    For me, it was way too much information too quickly. I didn't even have time to let myself rationally understand all of it. I was about as dumb as a box of rocks when I came into this. I always thought the change of life was just stopping your periods, and not being able to have anymore children. I thought the periods just faded away, and that was that! I think I was just a tad bit misinformed, huh? Okay, a lot misinformed!!

    So far, I'm not getting any of the most common symptoms except for the severe insomnia. That alone can drive you crazy! I'm getting the weird symptoms like twitching, itchy crawly skin, stuff like that. I did go through a phase of the nausea in the morning too. That was awful. I couldn't even brush my teeth without gagging.

    I just wanted to offer support, and to reassure you that you are NOT going nuts. You have every right to be scared and concerned when things are happening to you and you don't know what they are or why. The ordeal with the bloody stools would scare anyone! If it's any comfort, most of the serious bleeding internally won't come out as red in color, but more as a black tar looking stool, or coffee ground looking. That's why most doctors will immediately ask you the color, or what it looks like so they can tell if it's more of an emergency right away.

    I'm always over analyzing these things, and self diagnosing myself too. I just can handle things better when I know what is happening, and why. You did the right thing by coming here and getting what you are feeling out. Just typing it out really helps me sometimes. My poor friend Chris usually is the one that has to deal with all my ramblings, but it I know I would have been a basket case if she wouldn't have been there with her support.

    If you need to rant....do it. I'm here...and I'm happy to listen. Just wish I could help you more.

    Sandi

     
    Old 07-30-2005, 04:34 PM   #5
    1awesomegranny
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    Re: i just want to be normal again and feel good

    Thanx Sandi!
    I actually feel a bit more human right now, about 3 the discomfort just went away...don't know if the food left the tummy, the back popped, the kidney dumped a stone...who the heck knows. I do know that like you I came into this dumb as a box of rocks and boy have I been educated!!! I have also learned that exsisting conditions are often made worse by our hormones at this time. I can attest to that...period stops and things lessen a bit...hhhhmmm
    So thanx for the encouragement...I still need tons and I will prolly vent some more...just having all this stuff come on at once is a scary thing!! I just gotta get over this health anxiety!
    Thanx again...
    Conni

     
    Old 07-31-2005, 04:12 AM   #6
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    Re: i just want to be normal again and feel good

    HI, I can sure relate to yourworry. Mine stated in May with some constipation, straining and some blood after a bowel movement. I have felt that I have every imaginable illness! Then I had a scare re my mammogram, When my Dr. wanted me to have a colonoscopy well That put me over the edge! I recently started on Paxil which seems to be helping I wanted to offer you support as I have been in that dark place you are in. I am so happy to have found these boards to have an outlet and to know I am not going crazy.

     
    Old 07-31-2005, 07:58 AM   #7
    1awesomegranny
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    Re: i just want to be normal again and feel good

    Hi Cartman4,
    Thanx for the support. Last evening was okay, but when I went to bed I swear my kidneys started burning so I got up and drank a couple glasses of water and took an ativan. (which I hate doing, but at this point, what the hell). Slept for about 6 hours, this morning just dull achy pain on the left again, ate a banana so I'll see how that goes. I hope today is better. And Amen, I'm right there with you about finding these boards. It definitely helps with the crazies.
    Thanx again,
    Conni

     
    Old 07-31-2005, 04:15 PM   #8
    cartman4
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    Re: i just want to be normal again and feel good

    Connnie, Hi I use to hate taking any meds but like you said what the hell! I too take ativan if I haven't slept Tylenol PM or benadryl is also helpful. the paxil actually pulled me up from over the edge, so I guess I am now stuck with the old pill box. These health concerns are sure a pain. Never thought I would be so worried about myself!

     
    Old 08-01-2005, 05:51 AM   #9
    1awesomegranny
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    Re: i just want to be normal again and feel good

    Me either!!! The health anxiety is the worst!! I actually had a better day yesterday and this morning isn't bad. I did some shopping for my granddaughters birthday and a friends shower. Looking at where things are in the body leads me to think ulcers. And this is the 5 day on aciphex and it is making a difference. Man O Man that anxiety can really make you think the worst things are happening. I actually slept 6 hours last nite without ativan...yea!! Hope today stays better, am going to go out and tackle the back yard this morning after I eat something. I hate that old pill box too....but if it works I'll do it. I am so worried about getting addicted...but my doctor says most people on ativan don't because they use it for anxiety and only take it as needed as I do. whew...don't want to add another problem by becoming addicted to something! Take care and I hope your day is good!
    Conni

     
    Old 08-01-2005, 11:00 AM   #10
    rmc12
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    Re: i just want to be normal again and feel good

    Hi Conni,

    I saw this thread you started and also noticed a post in the How are you coping thread but thought I'd answer you here.

    I felt so bad for you reading how you were feeling. Last year I started full force with health anxiety big time. My stomach was the first thing to be affected and i was told by gyn that the stomach is like another brain and we can create more acidity in it when we stress. But how can we not with all the weird symptoms????? My symptoms and the anxiety went on from late Feb and into April last year and then tapered off in May. Then had 8 or 9 months of feeling "normal" and then it all seemed to crop up again this year same time frame of late Feg /early March. Was not as long lived this time but the anxiety sure comes and goes more frequently than i would like. I was given xanax to take as needed for it but like you I do not like to take pills,but do so if I need to as it helps.

    I feel for you going thru all this and just wanted to offer my support and tell you what I know you know...that you are not alone.

    Take care and I hope that you are feeling better this week.

    rmc

     
    Old 08-01-2005, 06:04 PM   #11
    1awesomegranny
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    Re: i just want to be normal again and feel good

    Hi rmc...
    Today was tolerable lol The bad pains are going, so I think the aciphex is working and I'm watching every thing I put in my tummy...but the gas is horrible...my ribs and back and shoulders are so sore and the burping and tooting are terrible!!! lol But I do feel better and I've given myself some major talking to about the anxiety and been journaling so thats helping. I go to the doc thursday for my pap and physical and I think I'm gonna ask him what we should do about this, I think theres a buggy in my tummy running amok!! Thanks so much for the concern, it really helps I'm glad you're feeling better
    Conni

     
    Old 08-22-2005, 09:15 AM   #12
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    Re: i just want to be normal again and feel good

    Has anyone tried having their hormone levels checked and taking natural hormones if necessary? I have very symptom in the book ( Major anxiety!!) and my levels are progestrone are really low so I will be taking replacement progestrone next month. My gyne says it will make me feel much better and also sleep better! I can't wait!!

     
    Old 08-24-2005, 06:19 PM   #13
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    Re: i just want to be normal again and feel good

    Hi im new to this. I am 45 years old and i think im going yhru the change. why are drs such a holes?

     
    Old 08-25-2005, 11:26 AM   #14
    SRMom
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    Re: i just want to be normal again and feel good

    All of you sound like me...I'm 45 too. I've had anxiety, migraines, palpitations, irregular periods, for years, and for the last 8 months, an unexplained pain in my lower left abdomen. All sorts of tests have been done, and I'm still trying to get a diagnosis. Now my doctor makes me feel like I'm annoying him and has diagnosed me with depression because I have anxiety! I am not depressed, but I am a little angry. He tried to make me take Paxil and I did for one month. I gained over five pounds almost immediately, it made everything else so much worse too, and the withdrawal was horrifying, even though he tried to step me down slowly. I've come to the conclusion that the terrible way I feel is because of peri-menopause, but none of my doctors ever bothered to say that to me. I sure wish my doctor at least pretended to care about me and my feelings. He seems more concerned with keeping costs down for my insurance company and rushing out of the exam room the second my time is up. So now, I take Xanax and pain medication when needed, upped my fiber intake, and I try my hardest to put on a happy face. What else can I do?

     
    Old 09-09-2005, 10:42 PM   #15
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    Re: i just want to be normal again and feel good

    I know this thread was started a long time ago. But, I am so happy that I am not going crazy after all. And so many of you have the same anxiety an all.
    Three years ago my mother died of ovarian cancer. Right around that time I started menopause. Things went down hill from there. I was sure I was dying from the same cancer. I had every immaginable disease symptom. Three years later I keep praying to make me as I was before my mother died. NORMAL. Many times I find myslef lying around not feeling like doing anything.
    All this no exercise has made my bladder overactive, (so I am told) more anxiety. Then suddenly I had an abnormal pap. oh boy....yes, you guessed it,after being married for 34 years I find that I have herpes. (I guess I got it when I was raped). So this last year I have had pap after pap, some normal some not.
    It is the anxiety that is killing me. PLUS the fact that I can't deal with seeing if I have legitimate problems or just IBS due to stress. Raising three hyper granddaughters does make one stressed. So, suddenly I get hot flashes. Then for no reason at all it seems my inside well up and I can't calm the anxiety. I think every ache is cancer of some kind. now of course that my stomach is bothering me, I MUST have colon cancer. I am trying to calm myself so that my dr, does not find anything wrong at my yearly physical. I dont want to do the coloscpy or whatever it is to check my bowels.(They might find cancer). So, I am trying to get calm. Well I am so calm that I can't sleep. I know, you are saying, if she went to the dr she would find out if she is OK. But, I am just a crazy old lady who can't hack it. Thank you for lettingme rant and once again I am sweating. The phycician says due to my mothers ovarian cancer I should not take a hormone cream The Gynocologist says take Premavera (I think that is it). Then I will not be so dried out inside. Oh well, the sample cream is somewhere in the closet since it says,some possible complications could be,breast cancer,uterine caner,and other cancers. Thank you,Christine

     
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