It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....

Menopause Message Board

Frustrated my man takes to long to ejaculate

Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 02-18-2006, 12:30 AM   #1
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Davis, CA
Posts: 2
deals911 HB User
Frustrated my man takes to long to ejaculate

I am 54 year old female. I hadn't been sexually active with a man in almost 3 years. My boyfriend is 49. He at first couldn't ejaculate at all the first several times. He almost gave up, and took his doctors advise to try viagra. I encouraged him for us to give this alittle more time since we were new lovers, and both hadn't had intercourse with a lover for multiple years. He does ejaculate now, but, usually takes about 45 minutes on the average. I get frustrated, because my lubrication isn't usually effective that long, and he comments on wondering why sometimes I have enough,and other times not. We have used saliva, and some grocery store bought lubricants that have helped. But, it is distracting to me, to stop several, or more times to add more lubricant. I feel my feminine ego abit threatened. I feel it isn't my fault. If he came within 20 minutes or less, which I think is average I wouldn't be having this problem. He really wears me out. I do stimulate him both manually, and orally in foreplay. So, it's not like I am not stimulating him enough. Now, I just read on another website, that a woman in menopause can take up to 45 mins to properly lubricate. That seems like a very long time to wait for intercourse to me. I don't want to hurt his ego, I don't think my complaining about taking to long will help any, so I haven't. I'd say we have foreplay about 15 minutes on the average, isn't that usually enough for a woman to lubricate enough. Isn't 45 mins longer than average? Any suggestions?
Signed, Frustrated

Sponsors Lightbulb
Old 02-18-2006, 01:21 AM   #2
Senior Veteran
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Seaview, WA USA
Posts: 599
MommaBee HB User
Re: Frustrated my man takes to long to ejaculate

Unfortunately you are not young anymore and your lack of hormones maybe sabataging your sex life. His too! Though sex can be satifying at our age, we expect it to be like when we were younger. That just isn't what is going to happen and you may just have to understand that getting this frustrated over it, may not be worth it. Have you tried AstroGlide? I have heard alot of good things about it. It is great that you still want to have sex and it is very healthy too. Your both not having sex for so long might be the biggest reason for the problems. The saying, "Use it or Lose it" is very true here. It is like the body forgets what to do. I think that you both need to keep trying and not expect it to be this big, wonderful sexual experience and just enjoy the other feelings, like the kissing and touching. This can help you both to relax and maybe find new ways to be intimate that doesn't wear you out.
I say enjoy it!

Last edited by MommaBee; 02-18-2006 at 01:22 AM.

Old 02-18-2006, 04:11 AM   #3
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Florida usa
Posts: 365
Linma2428 HB User
Re: Frustrated my man takes to long to ejaculate

Hi Deals, I wish I had some insight into your situtation to be of help. I know how frustrating the sex thing can be. I am 50 on Sunday my husband turned 54 on the 14 (Valentines Day). I would say in the past 5 years he and I have only had sex a few times. He has equipment problems and until this year wouldn't admit it. He would say I was doing things to cause our difficulties. Finally 2 years ago I decide to forget about having sex with him. As I was tired of his blaming me for what was going on. That naturally doesn't help me feel any better when I am going through perimenopause and feeling fat and ugly. It seems your new guy is blaming you. I hate it when men do that. I don't think they can face what is happening to them. My husband finally got a prescription for cialas but hasn't used it yet. He's not much of a pill taker and I think he's worried as to what might happen like blindness and other side affects. It would be nice to have sex and the things that go along with it like human contact and affection. To help feel better on those gloomy days. I hope your guy will hang in there and work this out with you. It would be ashamed since both of you have found each other for it to end. Linda

Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Libido good, inability to ejaculate, takes heart meds, frequent urination yanksgirl Urology 0 12-13-2008 09:39 AM
So Frustrated!!!! jayla31 Trying to Conceive (TTC) 5 11-03-2007 09:43 PM
Frustrated with Breastfeeding befer70 Breastfeeding 26 01-23-2007 05:10 AM
my GF is frustrated with me HELP! s0575759 Sexual Health - Men 9 02-06-2006 01:49 AM
Takes Too Long to Ejaculate jimmyd Sexual Health - Men 5 01-18-2006 06:33 AM
Beyond Frustrated kittywitty Eating Disorder Recovery 6 08-03-2005 07:43 PM
Takes to long to Ejaculate JustDave4now Sexual Health - Men 1 04-17-2005 07:48 PM
Takes BF A long time w/oral sex alwysasweetie21 Sexual Health - General 13 03-03-2005 08:54 PM
takes too long to ejaculate howdoiknow Sexual Health - General 5 09-27-2003 09:57 PM

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

Sign Up Today!

Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

I want my free account

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:01 PM.

Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
© 1998-2018 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!