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lostinwonder 12-07-2012 06:10 PM

Perimenopause I think... tearful and anxious
I'm 44....I came here mainly for support as I don't feel like going on and on with my husband about this and I don't really have any friends nearby who I can talk to. Do any of you ladies going through perimenopause feel like crying all the time? At pretty much anything? I feel like I live in a gloom all the time...I have mild depression on and off, but this feels worse. Usually it's something I can's more like moodiness. My boobs have not stopped hurting all this cycle (usually they stop when my period starts). My stomach is acidic all the time...almost feels exactly like when I was pregnant but my husband got "fixed" a few years ago. Also have chin hair that is becoming like a full time job plucking. That in itself is enough to make me cry!! WEight gain, skin changes...argh!! And most recently, insomnia and early morning waking (like 4 am!). This is maddening. Physically, period is pretty normal...stops in 5 days. Been getting lighter and lighter for a couple years now.

I know I should get my hormones checked again...did it two years ago and got on progesterone was low in ratio to estrogen. I am 44 now and just this last month things seem to be way off...I can't stop obsessing about certian things...usually like how my son is not a baby anymore...he's now daughter is in high school now...and our relationship is a bit strained...I can't stop wondering if my husband has a personality I try to go for walks with hubby...keep busy (work from home) to my folks on the phone periodically....keep up a bit with my close friends on ** (who live far, far away).

Thanks for letting me vent...I know I will be ok eventually. I just wanted to know if any others out there feel like's hard to be around myself lately!

nyergirl66 12-07-2012 06:31 PM

Re: Perimenopause I think...tearful and anxious
I know exactly how you feel! I'm 46 and have had extremely high anxiety within the week I am do. The chatter in my head made me feel like I was going insane. I thought I would need to lock myself in a looney bin. I havent had my period now since the last week of September which was the worse anxiety, head chatter, craziness I've ever experienced.

Since then I've been feeling a little better. Evry now & then I think I might be getting my period because I'd get a bit anxious but no period. I had my hormones checked and they said they were all so low they were almost non detectable so I started BHRT about two weeks ago. Since starting, I've been sleeping through the night which I havent done in 5 years, and I'm sleeping till about 7am instead of 4 or 5. I'm still trying to get rid of headaches that I've had for 5 years but they are a little less than they were.

So you are definetly not alone in this, apparently a lot of women get it like this. there are a lot of women with this problem.

Hope this makes you feel a little better that you are not alone. I know it helps me.

Take care,

cathyzc 12-08-2012 03:34 AM

Re: Perimenopause I think...tearful and anxious
Hi om going through pretty much the same.Im 45 and just had my hormone levels cheched and they came back inconclusive so dont know what to think.But about 4 days before my period im shaky scared of evrything and everythng seems 10 times worse.I cant eat i thnk ive got every disease going and im sure im driving my husband mad.In america they all talk about proestrogne cream i dont think we can get it over here.I got my period on tuesday and i couldnt stop crying just for nothing it lasted till yesterday and then ive started eating normal again the crying has stopped but im stll feeling edgy then normally on the last day of my period im very sad and gloomy and misarable its horrible isnt it

lostinwonder 12-09-2012 02:16 PM

Re: Perimenopause I think...tearful and anxious
Thanks for your replies ladies. I got my period today so hopefully I will feel a bit more normal in a few days. I guess anxiety gets worse with age? I never had it before but now it seems like all I can do is obsess on the negative aspects of my life. I feel like I am having doubts about everything from my marriage to my mothering to whatever it may be. I have always had PMS but this seems way worse now...I pray all the time now (and I mean really pray at night to God for some kind of guidance and strength) for peace of mind so I can get on with life in a cheerful way. Nostalgia brings on tears...thinking of the future fills me with a deep fear and more tears. I wish there was a way to be in the moment all the time...I think I might try to learn how to meditate..I've heard that really helps with feeling grounded.
I do find some peace in knowing I am not crazy and I am not alone. I am sorry for the ladies here and everyone else who has to endure this is very odd and it almost feels surreal at times doesn't it?

AS for the progesterone cream...I don't know if it helped me at all when I used it a couple years ago...I gave up on it after three months...probably should've stuck it out longer. But I have heard it works wonders for some people.

Good luck to all of you who are going through this!! It really is a yucky feeling.

Hodg48 12-10-2012 10:00 AM

Re: Perimenopause I think...tearful and anxious
Hi, I have found that evening primrose oil helps for that week or so before your period when everything seems so bleak and the tears come so easily. It's a phytoestrogen, so it balances the progesterone that is high at that time. Progesterone is the relaxing hormone, but I call it the crying hormone because when it's too high that's what I do. Estrogen and progesterone in balance is a wonderful thing, but when either of them is too high it gets rough. T

cathyzc 12-10-2012 02:34 PM

Re: Perimenopause I think...tearful and anxious
do you take prmrose oil every day someone recommended this to me you dont know what to take do you to help you

Hodg48 12-11-2012 09:29 AM

Re: Perimenopause I think...tearful and anxious
I take the primrose oil on day fifteen till my period. I seem to need one capsule every four hours or so. I find that I have cramps now for ten or twelve days before my period, not severe but definately there. The primrose oil seems to get rid of the cramping. I don't take it for the first half of my cycle as it would just add to the estrogen which is already high then. T

tuckerdog 12-16-2012 05:02 PM

Re: Perimenopause I think...t earful and anxious
I am 46 and am suffering from so much of what everyone is posting about. I still get my period but it not regular in term of timing - sometimes day 21, or 26, and this month I am now on day 30 and no sign of it. I am actually praying that it arrives because the past few days have been exceptionally difficult. I too have been dealing with major anxiety and worry the days or week before my period arrives. I feel sometimes as if my head is 'buzzing' if that makes sense. I can't calm my thoughts. I am short with everyone and just want to retreat. Noises bother me. I am prone to migraines and / or severe tension headaches as well. The headaches actually affect my eyes and even my teeth. I get the unsettled stomach and heartburn. I never anticipated that perimenopause would be this difficult. Sleep is so difficult when I am like this yet I feel exhausted. I wish there was something tried and true (and safe) that would work for this.

cathyzc 12-17-2012 01:58 AM

Re: Perimenopause I think... tearful and anxious
hi reading this makes you think it just sounds like me.Im 45 just had my hormone levels tested im seeing 2 doctors at the practice that im under the male doctor said the tests have come back inconclusive but he said he would rather believe me as the test isnt always accurate,the woman doctor just said your hormones are normal so you have got pms she wrote a website down for me and told me to go and read it,I think she was about 25.Its hard to tell them what you are going through shaking i have my period between every 24 and 29 days its begginning to form a pettern and 4 days before im due to come on im a wreck shaking and i think ive got everything.I cant stop crying im driving everybody mad in house i feel sorry for my husband and kids it lasts from 4 days before i have my period and lasts till my perod ends at the minute its my 13th day so its not too bad but i know it will be starting soon im dreading it cos it will be at christmas so i will not be enjoying it cos i will be too anxious and crying and scared ve got something

dreamcatcher11 12-19-2012 07:14 PM

Re: Perimenopause I think...tearful and anxious
Anxiety, fatigue, depression, and trouble sleeping are all, unfortunately, symptoms of peri-menopause. No, you are NOT imagining it. Listen to your body. If your symptoms are severe you may want to consider some kind of HRT. If you'd rather, you can also try out some natural remedies like evening primrose oil.

Also, this is the time to really take care of yourself; eat healthy, get lots of sleep, drink lots of water, get some exercise, eliminate caffeine and alcohol (and cigarettes) and reduce stress as much as possible. Reducing stress is particularly important if your are having anxiety. Try yoga or meditation, listen to some relaxing music, practice deep breathing. I believe seeing a therapist can help,too.

My husband doesn't really get it either. At first, he told me it was probably stress and I should quit my job!! These symptoms are very real so don't let anyone dismiss what you are feeling. You husband is right, however, that worrying can make things worse.

As hard as it may seem, take one day at a time. I also suggest keeping a journal and keeping a record of your symptoms on a calendar. Writing things down has helped me deal with my feelings and helped me to see patterns in my symptoms. And basically, it keeps me from going crazy!

Take it easy. Hope your gyno can help you, too.

cathyzc 12-20-2012 04:37 AM

Re: Perimenopause I think... tearful and anxious
you are definatly right about writing it down it forms a pattern and it does help im 45 and i am on day 16 i have been coming on between 24 and 29 days each month well this morning im having trouble breathin and im having palpatations everything seems scary and im thinking here we go fro today it just goes downhill untill i have had my period which isnt good.Im thinking oh no its christmas and i dont want to feel like this at all you cant shake it off i get shaky,palpatations i feel all doom and gloom.My husband is good but like i keep telling him he dosnt know what it feels like my kids are 26 and 21 and think im crazy i was just sat having something to eat and i burst out crying i cant explain why i dont like to be left on my own when im feeling like this i had an hormone test done and they came back inconclusive which the doctor said he would belive me as they are not accurate.I then went to see a lady doctor who wrote a website down for me and just told me to go and have a look and try evening primrose oil but dose that help with the fear and shaky and anxiety im not good with medicine off the doctor it leads to all different side effects i have got to say i have been on beta blockers for 6 years and have been weaned off them for nearly 6 weeks now it was hard but i had my worst time with my period last month than ever before so im hoping i dont need the beta blockers back as they made my life hell they say they r supposed to help anxiety and i was definatly worse last period

confusedin2012 12-20-2012 08:33 AM

Re: Perimenopause I think... tearful and anxious
The things that plague me the most and make meworried and uncomfortable are the EXTREME fatigue, the breast more than the other...and the muscle and joint aches and pains...Oh...and how can I forget the anxiety and gloomy feelings and dizziness makes me sad because I'm often too tired to play with my one year old and I always just want to lie in bed :-(

Hodg48 12-20-2012 09:29 AM

Re: Perimenopause I think... tearful and anxious
Perimenopause can cause depression in women with no previous history of it. It happened to me. Please see a doctor before it gets too bad. People don't think they have depression because their major concern is the anxiety, but anxiety can lead to depression. Some of the symptoms of depression which people don't realize are; an inability to focus, too much or too little sleep, feeling like you don't want to be around people, lack of interest in things you previously enjoyed, anxiety and of course melancholy. A Doctor told me that if you think of your brain as a filing systom, when the chemicals in your brain are low, your files get all mixed up. That's why it's so hard to do everyday tasks and have lots of people around. Your brain is exhausted because it's trying to organize it's files and it has no energy left for anything else. T

dreamcatcher11 12-20-2012 05:50 PM

Re: Perimenopause I think... tearful and anxious
I think Hodg has a good point. At least a certain amount of acceptance is required to achieve any kind of peace of mind. However, it is also necessary to get some relief from symptoms so that you can at least think and relax. Don't think that you have to suffer through this. HRT can and does work.

At first, I kept wishing that it wasn't happening and hoping that it would be over. I realize that hoping can sometimes actually do more harm than good. I can't keep waiting for things to suddenly get better. I'm not doing great but I am doing okay. I have to start living my life NOW.

I think I can use this time for reflection and introspection and maybe learn something about myself. Since I have been waking up two or three times a night, I remember a lot of my dreams. Many are vivid and intense and I believe they are trying to help me see things; a kind of connection between my conscious and subconscious mind. Perhaps I can look at this as an opportunity--a chance to discover new abilities, new goals, a new & stronger me.

Actually, it's funny that I chose my username before I even has any idea of what a crazy and potentially life altering experience this would be.

Hodge64 12-21-2012 09:56 AM

Re: Perimenopause I think... tearful and anxious
Hi, I had to change my username as I forgot my password and couldn't log in. It's still me, Hodge48. I want to clarify what I meant by accepting what we have as perimenopause. I did not mean that we shouldn't look for help for our symptoms. I meant that if we've been thoroughly checked out for other things (cancer, etc), and have a clean bill of health, so to speak, then we should accept that and not be determined that it's something more sinister than perimenopause. I have tried many things for my symptoms and if bcp or hrt work for you then, go for it. I have a sister who had breast cancer at 40, so cannot take estrogen. I tried a progesterone only bcp and couldn't tolerate it. My problem is not declining hormones for which HRT might work, rather raging ones, so I wait. From my experience, progesterone is the first hormone to go overactive. This happened for two years, with lots of crying and depression. Then the estrogen took off with sore breasts, high libido (too high) shaking, discharge, and a wired-up feeling which is worse around ovulation. I think after a year and a half of this and missing a couple of periods that maybe it's on it's way down. I know I'm an unusual case as most women suffer when their hormones drop, so HRT works for them. I don't believe, however that I'm alone in this. Everone is told that their symptoms are from dropping hormones, when maybe some of them are suffering from fluctuating hormones. Just my own observations.T

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