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    Old 11-29-2004, 09:00 PM   #1
    vernee
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    constant daydreaming problem

    Please do not disregard this thinking it is not important, I could really use someone's help because I feel like I am completely alone and I do not know what to do. I can't really talk to anyone because I don't want them to think I am strange, or just blow off my problem since it doesn't seem usual...

    Ever since I was about 7 years old I have had a problem with constant daydreaming. I used to do it mainly at night, I remember around the age of 7 it would be little things like playing in the playground with a make believe boy from school. A few times I would daydream in class and completely forget where I was. In 2nd grade I remember the entire class was already outside on the playground but I was so lost in daydreaming that I didn't even realize it until after the teacher called my name about 7 times.

    As the years progressed, I am now 19, these daydreams have intensified greatly. During my highschool years I would daydream only at home while in my bedroom, not in classes. These were usually about me being a different person and in diffent scenarios in life but I was always dating or married to someone who was successful and nice and handsome..unlike ANY other guys I knew in my life.

    These dreams affect me everyday. I often get confused and find it hard to differentiate between reality and daydreams. I daydream around 4 or more hours a day now. This semester I just moved away to a university and I rarely study. I now even daydream during class lectures like in grade school.. It is not normal, and I know this. In my daydreams right now, I dream of me being completely different, older, wiser, prettier. Married with kids and it really is just an alternate reality. Almost like reading a book exceot I am living it. I think I started daydreaming as an escape from some problems in my childhood and it just stayed with me all these years. It scares me sometimes. But in a way, i don't WANT to stop because daydreaming makes me feel good when I have nothing else to do. Ever since I moved away to college my social life has completely stopped. Even when I lived at home I didn't have much of one but now I never go out anymore. Maybe I daydream so I can feel better about myself and so I won't go crazy from being alone. I really don't know, but I know that it has to stop. I know that I need to find another way to cope with the problems of life but I don't know HOW I can get help. I am currently seeing a psychologist because of some family problems and childhood problems that i had. Should I discuss this with her? How do I bring it up? Is this an actual disorder?

    Again, please, i beg of you...don't disregard this thinking it is a joke or something. I know it doesn't SOUND real but I need help and I have no where else to turn.

     
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    Old 11-30-2004, 03:28 PM   #2
    sharita
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    Re: constant daydreaming problem

    I have the same problem my social worker says that daydreaming is a common behavior for children suffering from past or present abuse. She said it's like a way for them to try to deal with the pain, sort of like getting away. My psychiatrist diagnosed me as having borderline personality disorder you may want to look up the symptoms of this disorder you may have it. I do think you should tell your therapist about it then maybe she could help you figure out why you are doing it. For me they believe I do it because I don't like to be alone so to try to aviod abandonment that is why I daydream. They won't think you are crazy and you should bring it up in therapy quick before it gets worse, where you may daydream or disconnect from reality while driving. Good Luck

     
    Old 11-30-2004, 05:56 PM   #3
    vernee
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    Re: constant daydreaming problem

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by sharita
    I have the same problem my social worker says that daydreaming is a common behavior for children suffering from past or present abuse. She said it's like a way for them to try to deal with the pain, sort of like getting away. My psychiatrist diagnosed me as having borderline personality disorder you may want to look up the symptoms of this disorder you may have it. I do think you should tell your therapist about it then maybe she could help you figure out why you are doing it. For me they believe I do it because I don't like to be alone so to try to aviod abandonment that is why I daydream. They won't think you are crazy and you should bring it up in therapy quick before it gets worse, where you may daydream or disconnect from reality while driving. Good Luck

    thank you SO much! We have the same symptoms and even though it sucks for both of us, I am relieved to know that someone else knows what I am going through. It does scare me because occasionally I do find that I drift when driving, but I quickly regain attention. It is still dangerous though! again I really appreciate your help! How did you bring it up with your psychiatrist, because I don't know what to tell her. Should I just say that I think I have a daydreaming problem??? I am just nervous because I don't want her to think I am strange and blow it off as childish.

    Last edited by Amberlee; 11-30-2004 at 05:59 PM.

     
    Old 11-30-2004, 06:37 PM   #4
    Travis03
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    Re: constant daydreaming problem

    I am the same way. The EXACT same thing happened to me when I was in first grade (playground) I often have a hard time focusing in College because my mind wanders off onto other things. Tasks such as taking tests are frequently a problem.

    Travis
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    Old 11-30-2004, 06:58 PM   #5
    sharita
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    Re: constant daydreaming problem

    I have a really good relationship with my psychiatrist so I just came out and told him. I told him how it started when I was young but is getting worse, and how it sometimes scares me. I don't know about your doctor but mine always ask me How are things going or how am I feeling today. I simple said lately I haven't been doing so well and then I told him about the daydreaming. I also told him the time of day I mostly do it and some of the things I dream about. I also said that when I do dream or he uses the term disconnect from reality that while I'm dreaming that I can't hear what's going on around me until I stop or someone calls my name a couple of times. I don't know what you have been diagnosed with but since I have BPD my doctor always takes things I talk about seriously and not blow me off because I'm emotionally unstable. Again, I think you should just go with it and make sure you tell her everything that's happening to you. If she can't help you or blow you off get a new psychiatrist or if she isn't also your therapist make sure you tell your therapist and maybe she can suggest some type of group you can go to. I'm pretty sure there are more of us that have this problem.

     
    Old 11-30-2004, 07:14 PM   #6
    vernee
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    Re: constant daydreaming problem

    thanks so much. I have only been visiting this psychologist for about a month. I have not been diagnosed with anything that I know of yet, really all we do right now is just talk about my childhood and my current life. My next appointment is this Friday, I think I will bring it up then.


    If I may ask, when is it during the day that you guys daydream, and how long do they last? As I said mine occur all throughout the day, but predominantly in the evening/night before bed, and they last a few hours.

    Last edited by Amberlee; 11-30-2004 at 07:15 PM.

     
    Old 11-30-2004, 10:11 PM   #7
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    Re: constant daydreaming problem

    I daydream mostly when I'm alone or bored it happens mainly at night when everyone in my house is asleep. They usually last from anywhere from 30 seconds to one minute. I sometimes dream while I was in class so I dropped out of college because I couldn't focus, I daydream in group therapy, while walking somewhere, and sometimes while driving. I'm 19 also and as the years go by I hope I will eventually beat this probably or learn somehow to control it and just maybe I can continue to live my life.

     
    Old 11-30-2004, 10:59 PM   #8
    vernee
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    Re: constant daydreaming problem

    oh so yours are relatively short day dreams? Mine are like a completely different life and are very time consuming...thats why I feel so nervous talking about them. I hope you are able to beat this as well, it does suck no matter how long they last. Good luck with it all

     
    Old 12-03-2004, 12:51 PM   #9
    elenaroberts
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    Re: constant daydreaming problem

    i understand you very well amberlee,i have similar dreams too,but i just believe them,think sometimes not all the time,you should try not to dream all the time,just believe that you are living a life you want out there somewhere you cant see .i ve had a friend that people cannot see for more than 4 years and we still talk ,were together all the time,i believe hes there-sometimes there were times when i was so afraid i would lose him.(maybe i was obsessed)
    if you always feel you have to dream all the time this could be obsession and i think you should see a good psychiatrist for that
    i hope this helps im with you

     
    Old 12-04-2004, 12:24 AM   #10
    vernee
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    Re: constant daydreaming problem

    thank you

     
    Old 12-04-2004, 03:02 AM   #11
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    Re: constant daydreaming problem

    I daydream alot too...almost constantly. My therapist calls them breaks from reality. I don't know how to stop it because it happens so fast. I would bring it up to your therapist though. I also have borderline personality disorder. You may want to check and see what they have you diagnosed as (if you have a therapist). My daydream lasts sometimes 5 minutes long. And I've had people also calling my name trying to bring me back to reality. It usually takes them a few tries even a good shaking.

     
    Old 12-05-2004, 10:40 PM   #12
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    Re: constant daydreaming problem

    Daydreaming addiction can be very serious; you need a therapist who takes this seriously. It may be from past abuse, or due to attention deficit disorder (without the hyperactivity) or a number of things. But it needs to be addressed if it's as all-consuming as you say it is. It's the intelligent person's "coping mechanism" for a reality that's just a little too hard to bear. My guess is that you'll never give it up completely, but you need to "shrink it down to size" and start living in reality most of the time.

     
    Old 12-06-2004, 05:16 PM   #13
    vernee
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    Re: constant daydreaming problem

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by kerry1
    Daydreaming addiction can be very serious; you need a therapist who takes this seriously. It may be from past abuse, or due to attention deficit disorder (without the hyperactivity) or a number of things. But it needs to be addressed if it's as all-consuming as you say it is. It's the intelligent person's "coping mechanism" for a reality that's just a little too hard to bear. My guess is that you'll never give it up completely, but you need to "shrink it down to size" and start living in reality most of the time.


    thank you so much for replying. I had to cancel my therapist appointment last week due to finals that I had. But I do have an appointment this Friday and I plan to bring it up somehow. Im just nervous because everyone that has replied seems to HAVE daydreams like me, yet they only last a few minutes, mine last hours. I just feel like a freak or something.

     
    Old 12-07-2004, 07:06 AM   #14
    sharita
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    Re: constant daydreaming problem

    No, don't be worried I told you my dreams last a couple of minutes but what I meant to say was my dreams last a couple of minutes before I switch to a totally different dream. Kind of like racing thoughts but instead racing dreams. Or sometimes I dream about the same thing over and over again but the length of each dream is only about a minute or so. For me it's like a all day process.

     
    Old 12-07-2004, 06:43 PM   #15
    vernee
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    Re: constant daydreaming problem

    Oh okay, I see what you are saying sharita!

     
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