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  • Boyfriend going to Psychiatrist next week

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    Old 03-22-2007, 06:49 AM   #1
    jkitty's Avatar
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    Boyfriend going to Psychiatrist next week

    Hello all. I need a little help. My boyfriend is nervous about going to the psychiatrist next week and he doesn't want to be misdiagnosed.

    Thing is, my previous boyfriend used to see the same dr. and he has a tendancy to label everything as bi-polar and sedate everyone with Seraquil exspecially if the person has had drug addiction problems. Now I have gone several rounds with this dr. before concerning my ex because my ex was a pill addict and started abusing the Seraquil. My new boyfriend has taken Seraquil before and does not want to be sedated on meds. He is a recovering heroin addict so I am afraid that the dr. will write him off and just give him what he normally prescribes. (Seraquil) I don't believe that is what is best for my boyfriend.

    Here are his symptoms: Anger, rage, short tempered, panic attacks, high strung, he repeats his day plans over and over when he gets stressed, he has routines typical of OCD and ADHD because he's rarely focused and very hyperactive. Currently he is taking 3mg of Zanex per day but it doesn't seem to be helping. He needs to calm down. Yes I know Seraquil will make him pass out so in essence he will be calm but a zombie. I was thinking maybe he needs the opposite like Ritalin or Concerta.

    I know I am not a dr., nor are any of you and I am not trying to get a diagnosis based on this post. I just want suggestions on how to talk to this dr. and get the proper diagnosis without my boyfriend having a panic attack in the office and leaving with a script for Seraquil.

    Let me just say that the reason I am so convinced the dr. will so this is becaues my boyfriend is in Intensive outpatient therapy through the same office and all of his memebers that have seen the dr. already are all sedated on the stuff and prescribed it. So he must feel that recovering addicts need to be sedated with Seraquil in order not to relapse.

    The Zanex isn't working for his panic attacks he's still so angry and hyper and high strung. He worries excessively. Do you think Prozac might be better for him as a mood stabilizer?

    What questions should I ask and how should I go about getting him the right help that he needs rather than just pigeon holed.



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    Old 03-22-2007, 08:04 AM   #2
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    Re: Boyfriend going to Psychiatrist next week

    Hi Kitty, I am not a big fan of diagnosis. I think what helps is for the person to work on his daily functioning. What is causing him distress today - okay, let's analyze this and figure out what issues are really going on and then through understanding let's figure these issues out so that you can function mentally and emotionally. To me it sounds like your bf is angry and anxious. Both of these are easily dealt with in therapy. What kind of an upbringing did he have? I recovered from anxiety. What was causing this for me was poor personal boundaries and low self-worth which was causing a fear of intimacy. I also had to learn to meet my own needs and learn some social skills. Diagnosis, I guess someone might have written down anxiety but what helped me recover from my distress was understanding how my upbringing caused all of these problems and then changing my thoughts which were causing this distress. I didn't take any meds. Would your bf ever start posting here himself? Also, if he has suffered from substance abuse he was probably just trying to drown his feelings so that he wouldn't have to deal with them. So, therefore, he needs to learn how to deal with his feelings. Most angry people have to learn how to do this.

    Last edited by Sannah; 03-22-2007 at 08:05 AM.

    Old 03-22-2007, 10:48 AM   #3
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    Re: Boyfriend going to Psychiatrist next week

    I agree with everything that you are stating. I know that therapy and working on yourself should be enough but for some people they need additional medication to make it through the rough stages.

    I have adult ADHD and I think that my medication has saved my life. I no longer drink or have the impulsive spending habits that completely spun my life in circles. I never thought of consequenses and my meds are the only thing that helped me stay focused and hold a job, finish tasks, settle down etc...

    Yes my boyfriend is angry and has extreme anxiety. His upbringing has much to do with it I'm sure since all of his family are still in active addiction. This isn't a problem that a few counseling sessions is going to solve. Until he can start to learn how to think differently he may have to be put on meds. (YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW ANXIOUS THIS GUY IS). To say that he repeats his day is an understatment. He will talk about the next day and play the conversations to me before they happen at least 20 times. Then he will return to going over his day plans with me another 20 times. If I talk he can't pay attention. He just interjects with " So tomorrow I am going to 1,2,3,4,5,6 etc...." And if one thing doesn't work out as planned it messes his mind up. He snaps.

    Like yesterday the car wouldn't start. It was the end of his existance. I knew he just flooded the engine and that it would start later in the afternoon because I gave him the car and have done the same thing before. But he acted as if it was the end of the world and that he wasn't going to make it to his treatment programs, work force or probation all week long. (We have two cars now so we could have worked it out). I bought a new one last week because he had mine all the time and was so stressed out about the car situation. I mean he dropped me off at work and picked me up and he had the car the rest of the time. ??? Beats me. But he's this big stress ball and he gets overexcited and angry all the time.

    He's overly sensitive and takes things the wrong way. He has periods of panic and unexplained fear, angry outburst, he's impulsive and can't pay attention.

    Does anyone know how I can calm him down. It's getting harder to do and it's bringing my anxiety level up. Sometimes I can't handle the angry outbursts. They aren't directed at me, but he's venting to me and he's so upset that I feel like I have to step in and take over and fix the problem for him. He doesn't have any clear logical thinking pattern to come up with a solution on his own. It is exhausting. He can not make up his mind and clears every decision with me like what he should wear, what he should say at his next probation appointment, if he should get a hair cut or use the money to take his mechanics test over.

    Also he is a genius mechanic but he had to get recertified. His mom went with him and he couldn't concentrate so he failed the test and has to retake it.

    In my honest opinion I think he should look into ADHD. Not because I am a dr. or a therapist. I think he should ask someone if his symptoms could be because of ADHD. I know I tried Zanex, Buspar, ativan and all to get over my social anxiety but they didn't work. I wanted to drink still to kill the anxiery and that just led me to black outs. Since I've been on the ADHD meds for two years (Con certa) I have been able to quit drinking all together. I never have a craving or anything.

    Does anyone have an opinion or experience with severe anxiety that found a way to resolve or reduce it? I am trying my best to help him on his journey to recovery. I don't want to be an enabler or anything, I just want to find something that helps him, that will keep him strong for years to come.



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