It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Mental Health Message Board

  • A life of obsessions

  • Post New Thread   Closed Thread
    Thread Tools Search this Thread
    Old 05-04-2007, 09:28 PM   #1
    Unmotivated
    Newbie
    (male)
     
    Unmotivated's Avatar
     
    Join Date: May 2007
    Location: United States
    Posts: 1
    Unmotivated HB User
    A life of obsessions

    Hello, this is my first post here. I was hoping to get some advice on a problem I've had all of my life.

    Basically, at any given point, I get will get really, really into something. It becomes the core focus of my life. I talk about it, I think about it, I dream about it, and it is what I will spend my free time working on.

    The majority of the time this 'something' is a computer game of some sort. I've been addicted to and obsessed with one game or another since I got my first computer, probably about ten or eleven years ago.

    It's not always a game I get obsessed with. Sometimes its an activity or club, like martial arts, sometimes I get obsessed with a book or something. You get the idea.

    Well, this isn't really a problem in and of itself. The problem stems from the side effect that I lose almost all interest in everything that is not related to that which I am currently obsessed with. For this reason I've always had issues with motivation when it comes to school and work.

    All that I can live and have been living with, but recently something has happened that I never anticipated. I've always had poor luck with romance, but a few weeks ago I started dating a girl.

    Well, I've become obsessed with her. I want to hang out with her all the time, but she's made it clear that she needs some space. And I can respect that, but in the mean time my world has become very dismal through my eyes. I don't feel like playing games, watching movies/TV, hanging out with friends, going out to eat (or eating in general for that matter), drawing, writing, reading, anything. I've been sleeping up to 12 hours a day because I don't feel the need to get up.

    Any time I get to spend some time with this girl it makes me happy/excited, but when I don't get to see her for a few days I start to grow irrationally anxious, fearing that she's losing interest in me.

    My time with her has made me realize that I could have a wonderful life if I could find the right person to share it with. And that has made me hate everything my life has been up until this point. I refuse to fall back into the pit of playing computer games all day.

    If this relationship fails, I'm afraid I will have nothing left to live for. I don't know what to do anymore...

     
    Sponsors Lightbulb
       
    Old 05-05-2007, 07:18 AM   #2
    Sannah
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    Sannah's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Oct 2006
    Posts: 6,005
    Sannah HB UserSannah HB User
    Re: A life of obsessions

    Hi Unmotivated, the only thing that comes to my mind is Addiction. We have addictions to distract ourselves from our feelings, our lives. What are you trying to avoid in your life?

     
    Old 05-15-2007, 08:46 AM   #3
    harmony06
    Senior Member
    (female)
     
    harmony06's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Feb 2007
    Location: Manchester, NH
    Posts: 263
    harmony06 HB User
    Re: A life of obsessions

    hi unmotivated and welcome to the board, in reading your post it sounded alot like me, i just don't think that i'm at the same extreme. you didn't say how old you are. i'm forty-six so if your young, it could mean that you just need more experience.

    i can be very obsessed with things also, for a while it was knitting, then it was reading, and then genealogy research, you get the picture, there's always something that i obsess over. have you seen a doctor about it.

    i was having that problem along with others and spoke to my primary care physician, he directed me to a phychiatrist that has diagnosed me with bipolar and ocd. i'm not saying that this is what you have but that maybe you should seek help, it has made a big difference in my life, and i truely believe it would in yours to.

    think about it and keep posting to keep us informed on how you are doing.

    harmony

     
    Old 05-16-2007, 06:08 AM   #4
    ChaosAD
    Senior Veteran
    (male)
     
    ChaosAD's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Mar 2007
    Location: USA
    Posts: 536
    ChaosAD HB User
    Re: A life of obsessions

    Hello Unmotivated. I can sympathize with what you are saying. I can become very obsessed with things. Usually it can only be 1 thing a time. So whatever it is that I'm not obsessed with can suffer. I have played the online games, but only for about 3-4 years now. At 1 pt they def took up a good part of my free time. I took a while off though and find I can just enjoy them from time to time when I just want to get away. No longer do I feel the 'need' to play and move my schedule around them.

    As for the problems lately, it sounds like you have become obsessed with the girl. Is there a reason for this? Have you had bad experiences in the past? It sounds like you really enjoy enjoy being around and she makes you happy. My suggestion would be to just let her have her free time. Everyone needs free time whether they know it or not. Without we start to lose who we truly are as our own persona. Nothing bad will happen while you are apart. If anything it can help. It will help you both appreciate each other. Sometimes if you just hover over ppl they can start to feel suffocated and lose interest where they normally wouldn't have.

    So go out with this girl when she is avail. When she isn't feel free to play your games, see friends, or do whatever makes you happy. I know at this pt you don't really want to do anything and feel down, but trust me getting out there will get your mind off what is bothering you. If you feel like it is more then you can handle then perhaps seeing a therapist would be good. It is always better to cut things off at the pass before they can grow and take over. I did that for many years and am now dealing with it. I finally went to see a therapist and wish I had oh so long ago. You will find yourself slowly starting to get into a rhythm. You will then look back at this and wonder how you could feel that way.

    I wish you the best of luck. Please let us know how you are doing....oh and I would suggest listening and talking with Sannah. She has some good knowledge to share

     
    Old 05-16-2007, 06:23 AM   #5
    Sannah
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    Sannah's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Oct 2006
    Posts: 6,005
    Sannah HB UserSannah HB User
    Re: A life of obsessions

    This brings up an interesting question for me, the differences and similarities between addictions and obsessions? Obsessions are caused by anxiety and addictions are just to distract you?

    Hi Chaos, thanks for the kind words!

    Last edited by Sannah; 05-16-2007 at 06:26 AM.

     
    Old 05-16-2007, 06:43 AM   #6
    ChaosAD
    Senior Veteran
    (male)
     
    ChaosAD's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Mar 2007
    Location: USA
    Posts: 536
    ChaosAD HB User
    Re: A life of obsessions

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Sannah View Post
    This brings up an interesting question for me, the differences and similarities between addictions and obsessions? Obsessions are caused by anxiety and addictions are just to distract you?

    Hi Chaos, thanks for the kind words!
    I had a quick answer for this, then as I writing it I found each answer was contradicting each other. So I decided to see what the definitions of both were:

    Obsession: Recurrent and persistent thought, impulse, or image experienced as intrusive and distressing. Recognized as being excessive and unreasonable even though it is the product of one's mind. This thought, impulse, or image cannot be expunged by logic or reasoning.

    Addiction: Strong emotional and /or psychological dependence on a substance such as alcohol or drugs that has progressed beyond voluntary control.

    It seems the biggest difference is with addiction there is a dependence felt. Also, addictions are referred to as a disease a lot of times where obsessions are purely thought of as a purely mental thing and tied to OCD depending on the level. To me it seems a very close relationship though. Both usually involve doing something that in the long run usually hurts us, but we do it cause at the moment it makes us feel better and there is almost a need for it or we will feel worse.

    Last edited by ChaosAD; 05-16-2007 at 06:45 AM.

     
    Old 05-16-2007, 08:10 AM   #7
    Sannah
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    Sannah's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Oct 2006
    Posts: 6,005
    Sannah HB UserSannah HB User
    Re: A life of obsessions

    Interesting, so I wonder if Unmotivated has an addiction or an obsession? I guess I am thinking about WHY someone is addicted to something. You drink to drown out your feelings, you shop to make you happy for a minute, etc. All of the addictions are because of feelings that you won't deal with. Obsessions are the byproduct of anxiety and the anxiety is from thoughts in our heads which are causing the anxiety. So the anxiety is caused by thoughts and this anxiety causes more thoughts (obsessions). Thoughts - anxiety - obsessions. Repressed feelings - distress - addiction - relief (temporary). I guess you get relief from the addictions (fleeting) but there is no relief from the obsessions. Or do people get relief from compulsions?

     
    Old 05-16-2007, 08:54 AM   #8
    ChaosAD
    Senior Veteran
    (male)
     
    ChaosAD's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Mar 2007
    Location: USA
    Posts: 536
    ChaosAD HB User
    Re: A life of obsessions

    People with OCD will commonly get relief with the obsession. Even if it is something minor like touching every door knob. In fact if the obsession doesn't get carried out it can cause sever anxiety. I know with me I have obsessions in my everyday life thanks to OCD. Many of them I don't notice so much anymore cause they have become part of everyday life with me. It gets pointed out by others usually.

    I know for me I commonly replace the 2 words a lot. There are some spots where it just doesn't seem to go together though. I can see being obsessed with a girl or a relationship, but being 'addicted' doesn't seem like the proper word. In my head I can see the differences, just having a hard time putting it to paper.

     
    Old 05-16-2007, 09:34 AM   #9
    Sannah
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    Sannah's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Oct 2006
    Posts: 6,005
    Sannah HB UserSannah HB User
    Re: A life of obsessions

    Chaos, I guess my confusion of the two started when Unmotivated used them interchangably and then in the end they are to relieve distress? But you are correct, they are different. Welcome to compare/contrast 101!

     
    Old 05-16-2007, 11:32 AM   #10
    ChaosAD
    Senior Veteran
    (male)
     
    ChaosAD's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Mar 2007
    Location: USA
    Posts: 536
    ChaosAD HB User
    Re: A life of obsessions

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Unmotivated View Post
    Any time I get to spend some time with this girl it makes me happy/excited, but when I don't get to see her for a few days I start to grow irrationally anxious, fearing that she's losing interest in me.
    I totally understand. I can be the same way. It is counter productive though. Just trust her. Know that she keeps coming back and is with you in the first place. She wouldn't be there is didn't want to
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Unmotivated View Post
    My time with her has made me realize that I could have a wonderful life if I could find the right person to share it with. And that has made me hate everything my life has been up until this point. I refuse to fall back into the pit of playing computer games all day.

    If this relationship fails, I'm afraid I will have nothing left to live for. I don't know what to do anymore...
    Don't look at before her as a failure. Were you happy? Life can be in stages, with 1 not necessarily better then the other, just different. I have gone through many stages in my short 30 years. Looking back some stages were better then others but I would change a thing cause it made me who I am now. Also, what we enjoy changes as we grow. I used to love lightbright, ok bad example i still love lightbright, but you get my pt hopefully.

    ...and please remember, even if stuff doesn't work out in the end with her, life goes on, just different stages. There have been 3 different girls that at 1 pt I was madly in love with and had thoughts of marriage. None of them worked out in the end, or i would be married now heh. Looking back it all worked out for the better even if it didn't feel like it then.

    I can guarantee worrying about it will only make things worse cause it will cause you anxiety. Then you will do and say stuff you normally wouldn't. Then you start going down a bad bad road. Just go with the flow. The outcome will be the outcome, no use worrying about the future when it isn't even here yet. All you can do is try to have the best time you can and enjoy life in the now.

    Last edited by ChaosAD; 05-16-2007 at 11:34 AM.

     
    Closed Thread

    Related Topics
    Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
    technique for obsessions effective.. arbegla Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) 2 07-29-2006 05:05 PM
    How do I stop the obsessions...it's ruining my life!!! zusanna Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) 4 08-03-2005 06:27 PM
    Obsessions change as your life changes??? AngelOfLight82 Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) 2 07-07-2005 05:12 PM
    Temporary obsessions? fro54 Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) 0 08-17-2004 10:52 PM
    Scary Obsessions Believer7 Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) 9 02-09-2004 05:47 PM




    Thread Tools Search this Thread
    Search this Thread:

    Advanced Search

    Posting Rules
    You may not post new threads
    You may not post replies
    You may not post attachments
    You may not edit your posts

    BB code is On
    Smilies are On
    [IMG] code is Off
    HTML code is Off
    Trackbacks are Off
    Pingbacks are Off
    Refbacks are Off




    Sign Up Today!

    Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

    I want my free account

    All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:13 PM.





    © 2022 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
    Do not copy or redistribute in any form!