It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Mental Health Message Board

  • Stuck - Afraid of everything

  • Post New Thread   Closed Thread
    Thread Tools Search this Thread
    Old 11-21-2007, 11:38 AM   #1
    LaFin
    Member
    (male)
     
    LaFin's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Nov 2007
    Location: Calgary, Alberta, Canada
    Posts: 88
    LaFin HB User
    Stuck - Afraid of everything

    I'm literally stuck on the 2nd floor of my house away from any windows. I don't know why it had to happen today but I just can't seem to move, I'm afraid for my life. I decided from now on to keep a journal of sorts of what I think about, because I'm sure I'll forget the details of today, but I'm wondering if anyone thinks I should actually go to the hospital tomorrow instead of waiting for my pdoc appointment.

    This is what I wrote:
    Nov 21 - Hid most of the day in pantry with lights off because they drove slowly past the house and phoned me.
    -Afraid of every noise associated with cars outside my home, like the doors slamming.
    -Afraid of windows in my house and afraid of answering my phone because of them.
    -The voice in my head is telling me to cut my hands or fall down my steps.
    -I think they put contact lenses in my cats eyes with cameras to watch me.
    -The neighbors are watching me from their homes.
    -They keep driving by my house looking for me through the windows
    -Afraid of leaving the 2nd floor of my home.

    I mean, I'm shaking after this experience and I need to look out of the corner of a window to make sure nobody is there before I walk past it, and if someone is there I immediately run to a room with no windows and just sit on the floor for an hour.

    This has all added on to my other problems.
    So should I take myself to the hospital tomorrow or bear with it until my next appointment?

     
    Sponsors Lightbulb
       
    Old 11-21-2007, 12:12 PM   #2
    Xant
    Inactive
    (female)
     
    Join Date: Feb 2007
    Location: Taunton, U.K.
    Posts: 247
    Xant HB User
    Re: Stuck - Afraid of everything

    I would go to the hospital, you obviously have a major psychosis...tell them what you are feeling and what you have done, you can be helped

     
    Old 11-21-2007, 12:30 PM   #3
    LaFin
    Member
    (male)
     
    LaFin's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Nov 2007
    Location: Calgary, Alberta, Canada
    Posts: 88
    LaFin HB User
    Re: Stuck - Afraid of everything

    Should I go right now or wait until tomorrow?

     
    Old 11-21-2007, 01:36 PM   #4
    trg247
    Senior Veteran
    (male)
     
    trg247's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jan 2005
    Location: ontario
    Posts: 3,762
    trg247 HB Usertrg247 HB Usertrg247 HB User
    Re: Stuck - Afraid of everything

    By whatever means neccasary go now, don't wait as tomorrow you might not have the ability to go do to delusions. Write everything down your experiencing and just hand it to the doctor at the ER today.

    take care
    trg247
    __________________
    Major Depressive Disorder With Psychotic Features
    Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
    Borderline Personality Disorder
    Generalized Anxiety Disorder

    Current Meds
    Pristiq
    Cymbalta
    Seroquel
    Temazapam

     
    Old 11-24-2007, 12:23 AM   #5
    LaFin
    Member
    (male)
     
    LaFin's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Nov 2007
    Location: Calgary, Alberta, Canada
    Posts: 88
    LaFin HB User
    Re: Stuck - Afraid of everything

    Well I'm sort of back.
    Pretty much as soon as I walked in I put under the Mental Health Act of Alberta and my rights were all revoked, I was put in an ER room for observation for 7hours while a pdoc evaluated me, and had me put into Unit 22 as a long term patient as I was apparently a danger to myself, I don't really remember to much. When I woke up the next day I felt fine, partly due to the medication I received I guess. But I wasn't allowed to leave and was evaluated again, and the pdoc from that one still considered me a danger to myself and ranked me as a C-1 patient (have to wear hospital clothes, be checked on every 15mins, not allowed to leave the unit under any circumstances not regarding my health and having no rights whatsoever) I was downgraded to C-2 the next day and given my street clothes back. The numerous doctors I've seen say I am suffering from psychosis, although I feel normal, or at least my kind of normal, I still hear voices and although I would rather not admit it to my doctors, they are still telling me to do stuff, like in the car ride home to open the door and jump out, or get out at a red light and jump off a bridge, but there is no way I'll tell my doctors, they're just trying to keep me in the hospital against my will and I'm not going to tell them anything to help them out.
    I have to go back Sunday at 9pm, and there's no real way out of that since I'd rather nto be hunted down by the police. I don't know, but being around so many other people with things worse than me just makes me feel worse, and during the whole time I was there I just retreated to my room anyways, unless my roommate was there, then I just sat on a chair in the common area and starred at the ground not moving until it was time to eat.

    I really want my problems to be helped, and they're saying that I'll be getting medication after the doctor is done with his suspicions of bipolar and whatever he thinks is causing this psychosis, he isn't exactly keeping me clued in to my situation. But I really don't want to tell the doctors I'm still experiencing this because if I do, I'll just be kept in the hospital for longer, and I think that'd be worse, especially since I'm underage and they still stuck me into the adult mental health unit.

    I don't know if these are real fears or just paranoia or whatever it is, I just know that my doctors are not going to get all the information they want and might need out of me.

    I guess I'm a bit disoriented and I'll just stop here for now.

     
    Old 11-24-2007, 02:16 AM   #6
    Xant
    Inactive
    (female)
     
    Join Date: Feb 2007
    Location: Taunton, U.K.
    Posts: 247
    Xant HB User
    Re: Stuck - Afraid of everything

    Yes it is a scary thought having to be stuck in a hospital, but if you don't tell your docs what you are going through, they won't know what meds to give you.
    They will not keep you in longer than necessary, only until the meds have kicked in and you no longer hear the voices telling you to do these things.

    Only the docs can decide what is wrong with you, but they really need all the info you can give them. Why not just grit your teeth and realize there will be a month or two where you will have to go through getting things sorted out and if it means staying in the hospital so be it. Really, do you want to have to hide in your pantry for the rest of your life? Choose the uncomfortable month or two while things are figured out, rather than the awful unendless fear you have been going through...you can do it

     
    Old 11-24-2007, 09:30 AM   #7
    trg247
    Senior Veteran
    (male)
     
    trg247's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jan 2005
    Location: ontario
    Posts: 3,762
    trg247 HB Usertrg247 HB Usertrg247 HB User
    Re: Stuck - Afraid of everything

    Hi:

    I am really glad that you took the right steps as I know hard how that is to do.

    I have done two seperate hospital stays in the last two years, the first one was fro two months and the second time was for a little over one month. I am beyond difficult to treat due to disorders (severe MDD with psycotic features, BPD, PTSD, GAD and to top it off I am drug resistent)

    The first stay I just told them what they knew to know and I got nothing out of it except for a lot of new meds.

    The last time (Nov 07) I decided the only way I could get the proper help is by telling them everything (to a certain point as BPD prevents me from revealing to much) and even though I complain constantly about the way they operated at least this time my doctor and I were on the same page so everything main diagnosis could be addressed which has proven to be a lot more benificial. Hospitals don't keep you forever especially now due to budget restraints and bed shortages but they will keep you til your healthy. With access to all sorts of meds and treatments the more aggressive you are about your own health concerns chances are the faster you will get better.

    I deal with the urges and the voices so with a little bit of work we found the right med for me (Seroquel) which has almost eliminated both behaviors making it a lot easier for me to focus at the problem at hand and eventually will allow me into therapy in the right state of mind where I can take care of the rest.

    Doctors and nurses are not mind readsers and there is only so much that they can learn from just observation and you dropping the odd hit. If you want to get back to healthy as fast as possible you need to tell them everything along the lines of urges, flashbacks, nightmares, paranoia and anything else that stands out. Or else you end up like me the first time around two months after my discharge (which I manipulated the system like crazy to pull off) in a postion back where you started.

    You did the perfect thing for you by admitting yourself but now that you are in that enviroment don't fight against it but get them to work for you.

    ** Somehow I missed xant's post but she is right on the money

    take care
    trg247
    __________________
    Major Depressive Disorder With Psychotic Features
    Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
    Borderline Personality Disorder
    Generalized Anxiety Disorder

    Current Meds
    Pristiq
    Cymbalta
    Seroquel
    Temazapam

    Last edited by trg247; 11-24-2007 at 09:32 AM.

     
    Old 11-24-2007, 10:49 AM   #8
    Pri Lily
    Inactive
    (female)
     
    Join Date: Sep 2007
    Location: Canada
    Posts: 1,096
    Pri Lily HB User
    Re: Stuck - Afraid of everything

    I have been following this thread too.....

    I'm really glad you went to the hospital.

    You need to tell them everything, for them to treat you properly. If it were me, I would get started now, rather than later.

    Good Luck...please keep us posted

    Lil

     
    Old 11-30-2007, 02:13 PM   #9
    LaFin
    Member
    (male)
     
    LaFin's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Nov 2007
    Location: Calgary, Alberta, Canada
    Posts: 88
    LaFin HB User
    Re: Stuck - Afraid of everything

    I'm back on my weekend pass from the hospital, so here's an update.
    The doctor basically diagnosed me with what I already know, social anxiety, and he still hasn't come up with a diagnosis for the psychosis, but he's finally started me on medication. I'm on olanzapine. He says he would diagnose me with Schizophrenia except for the fact that I'm still functioning fine, either than me not being able to get a job, not going to school at all and pretty much locking myself up in my room of my house for the past year or so. Anyways, apparently I'm still on certificate because my doctor is lazy so I'm still int he hospital at least until they get the dose for the medication right.

    I have some questions though, is there a name for something, where in the middle of doing an activity or doing nothing, you just stop and stare off into space for awhile? Like I've been doing stuff like in a shower for example, where all of a sudden I'm somewhere else, like in my mind I'm outside or something and when I snap out of it I find that I've been starring at a wall for 30mins.

     
    Old 11-30-2007, 02:25 PM   #10
    trg247
    Senior Veteran
    (male)
     
    trg247's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jan 2005
    Location: ontario
    Posts: 3,762
    trg247 HB Usertrg247 HB Usertrg247 HB User
    Re: Stuck - Afraid of everything

    Hi:

    Glad to hear that your getting the help that you need to get everything back on track.

    My guess to what your describing is disassociation.

    take care
    trg247
    __________________
    Major Depressive Disorder With Psychotic Features
    Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
    Borderline Personality Disorder
    Generalized Anxiety Disorder

    Current Meds
    Pristiq
    Cymbalta
    Seroquel
    Temazapam

     
    Old 11-30-2007, 07:12 PM   #11
    Pri Lily
    Inactive
    (female)
     
    Join Date: Sep 2007
    Location: Canada
    Posts: 1,096
    Pri Lily HB User
    Re: Stuck - Afraid of everything

    Hi...

    From everything I have read, this could be a side effect of your medication.

    I would report it to your Doctor.

    Glad to hear that you're doing better.

    Lil

     
    Old 11-30-2007, 11:54 PM   #12
    LaFin
    Member
    (male)
     
    LaFin's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Nov 2007
    Location: Calgary, Alberta, Canada
    Posts: 88
    LaFin HB User
    Re: Stuck - Afraid of everything

    Well it's been happening from before I started taking medication.
    And I'm starting to wonder if he's right about the bipolar because I'm pretty sure I'm manic right now.

     
    Old 12-01-2007, 07:32 PM   #13
    zak7
    Senior Member
    (female)
     
    zak7's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jun 2005
    Location: San Francisco, CA
    Posts: 151
    zak7 HB User
    Re: Stuck - Afraid of everything

    Hi LaFin. From your first post, it seemed that you could be suffering from either the psychosis delusional disorder or paranoid schizophrenia. Do you often think that people are out to get you?

     
    Old 12-01-2007, 08:37 PM   #14
    LaFin
    Member
    (male)
     
    LaFin's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Nov 2007
    Location: Calgary, Alberta, Canada
    Posts: 88
    LaFin HB User
    Re: Stuck - Afraid of everything

    Yah I do.
    Although sometimes I'm aware that it's probably not true but sometimes (the times when I'm really keyed up and have the manic type symptoms)
    During those times I believe a secret organization led by the health care system is following me to steal my organs, and I automatically associate every person and vehicle with this organization (this is what led to my hospitalization).

     
    Old 12-01-2007, 10:53 PM   #15
    zak7
    Senior Member
    (female)
     
    zak7's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jun 2005
    Location: San Francisco, CA
    Posts: 151
    zak7 HB User
    Re: Stuck - Afraid of everything

    Yes, your diagnosis seems pretty clear to be paranoid Schizophrenia. But can I ask if you use any drugs or use alcohol?

     
    Closed Thread

    Related Topics
    Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
    Please help! Scared, anyone feel like a lump in throat and food gets stuck? miche31 Anxiety 3 02-01-2010 02:00 AM
    Stuck in a loveless marriage - The saga continues undecidedone Relationship Health 7 07-10-2008 11:21 AM
    Weight watchers and stuck luvin Weight Loss 32 06-23-2005 04:52 PM




    Thread Tools Search this Thread
    Search this Thread:

    Advanced Search

    Posting Rules
    You may not post new threads
    You may not post replies
    You may not post attachments
    You may not edit your posts

    BB code is On
    Smilies are On
    [IMG] code is Off
    HTML code is Off
    Trackbacks are Off
    Pingbacks are Off
    Refbacks are Off




    Sign Up Today!

    Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

    I want my free account

    All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:43 PM.





    © 2020 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
    Do not copy or redistribute in any form!