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dcoy 10-12-2012 11:01 PM

I don't even know what this is called....
I've been suffering from something for years now and I can't find any information about it online. I'll keep the description as short as possible, and I appreciate any insight people have, if this is something they've heard of or are otherwise knowledgeable about.

I dated someone for 8 years. That person then left for one year on a long trip to a dangerous place, and during that trip, they called one day and broke up with me on the phone. It destroyed me emotionally. It was the worst year of my live. Pets died. Loved ones died. I lost my job and my home. At some point I started saying her name, even when I wasn't thinking about this person. Sometimes I'll add in "I miss you" after I say the person's name. I still think of this person nearly every day and it's been years since we broke up. We're still casual friends, though the person lives far away.

There doesn't seem to be a pattern to it, or anything in particular that sets it off other than when I think about the person. Some days I won't say it, and other days I'll say it 10 or maybe even 20 times over the course of a day. I can't tell if it's subconscious. I tried a few sessions of therapy but then stopped going. If I concentrate then I can prevent myself from saying it. I think it's worse in the morning when I first get up and I'm tired. Stress might be a factor.

Again, any insight people have about this issue would be greatly appreciated. Is there a name for what I'm experiencing? I can't seem to come up with the right terms to research this.

flamesabers 10-13-2012 10:29 AM

Re: I don't even know what this is called....
Hello dcoy.

Obsessive compulsive disorder might be why you're saying her name over and over again even when you don't want to or you're unaware you're doing so.

TinoRock 10-14-2012 12:31 AM

Re: I don't even know what this is called....
OCD is the only thing that comes to mind...It can manifest in many different ways. I've heard of OCD stories wherein obsession with a love lost, etc., can last for years. Sounds painful, but the right therapy/or pdoc should be able to help you get past this, or manage it more effectively. Good luck.

dcoy 10-14-2012 05:45 PM

Re: I don't even know what this is called....
Hmmm it makes sense. Thank you both so much for your help.

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