It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....

Mental Health Message Board

An honest post... just want answers!

Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 12-23-2012, 07:37 PM   #1
Junior Member
Join Date: May 2006
Location: usa
Posts: 10
leigha HB User
An honest post... just want answers!

I am moody...but mostly it rotates between generally good mood to very angry mood. It can rotate in a day maybe more than once. My anger can be overwhelming. I can be irritable and short or I can scream because you irritated me. I can scream ugly words to you and go off. Then I might cry..when I calm down I feel regret and pain that I might have caused to you. I feel bad. My sleep is disturbed by waking up in the middle of the night and being unable to go back to sleep...I lie awake with my mind racing. I go through stages of this. Sometimes I sleep good then I start doing the waking up thing again.

Since I was in high school I knew that I feel deeply. If I am upset and crying(over an argument with a significant other) it has to be resolved right then....I will NOT let it go or stop until I feel things are okay. If mean things are said to me that I can't deal with I immediately think I want to die. I want to no longer live because I can't deal with that moment. In high school I felt I wanted to cut my own leg and did(not badly) because of a boyfriend. I am on my 4th marriage and probably 30-40th job. I have now cheated on 3 out of 4 of my husbands. My current one I have not. I have been better about holding a job the last few years but not great. I am on my 4th month in this one..I even had one for 3 years before. I cook dinner, mostly keep a nice home and basically live a normal looking life. Noone I work with would ever EVER know these things. My confidence goes from usually very LOW to sometimes soaring...but the soaring confidence never sticks around too long because I will find things I hate about myself pretty quick. In all honesty I don't know what I look like half the time...I feel like I need to look in the mirror and either reassure myself I'm ugly or beautiful depending on the day. Most of the time I think something is wrong with everyone else and not me.

I forced myself to write this as honestly as possible

I am so un-trusting.I look for clues to everything and anything my husband could be doing and I always think he is cheating on me. I am not always so bad but I have my days or weeks that I feel like I need to “watch my back” with him. He might lie to me and I have to really keep an eye out for it.

I am not diagnosed with anything. I am not on medication for anything. I know I have anxiety(low)occasionally and I”ve tried anti-depressants before but not for long...I don't like how I feel on meds. I am posting to see if I have a screwed up personality, if I could have something wrong with me or if I just need to stop acting so crazy...I am a smart woman and I don't know why I even have these issues...but I've been accused of having bipolar disorder...does this even fit that at all?

Sponsors Lightbulb
Old 12-29-2012, 11:17 AM   #2
Senior Veteran
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 812
flamesabers HB Userflamesabers HB Userflamesabers HB Userflamesabers HB Userflamesabers HB Userflamesabers HB Userflamesabers HB Userflamesabers HB Userflamesabers HB Userflamesabers HB Userflamesabers HB User
Re: An honest post... just want answers!

Hello leigha.

I don't think you sound crazy or have a screwed up personality. You sound very aware of yourself and the problems you're experiencing.

I think it's certainly possible you might have bipolar disorder. The rapid change from feeling good to angry, the lack of temper control, thoughts about death, difficulties with sleeping, self-confidence going from very poor to incredibly high are all potential symptoms of bipolar disorder.

When treating bipolar disorder with medication, just taking anti-depressants may not only be useless, but counterproductive. Instead, I think a mood stabilizer is prescribed first and then possibly an anti-depressant in conjunction with the mood stabilizer to treat the depression phase of the bipolar disorder. I'm not sure about mood stabilizers, but I know anti-depressants can take a while to work and can cause a number of unpleasant side-effects. If you decide to go on medication and can find the right combination of medication, it can really help with taking the edge off the intensity of the symptoms you experience.

If you haven't already, I suggest talking to your doctor about whether you're suffering from bipolar disorder or not.

Closed Thread

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

Sign Up Today!

Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

I want my free account

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 08:41 AM.

Site owned and operated by™
© 1998-2018™ All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!