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  • My baby died. . .was due in FEB.

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    Old 01-20-2005, 03:28 AM   #1
    Hope2Heal
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    My baby died. . .was due in FEB.

    Hi everyone

    I sadly write to tell everyone the terrible news. It helps for me to talk to others about it. My due date was Feb. 8 and I have been posting on the Feb. moms boards occaisionally and have posted other boards including questions about decreased fetal movement, gestational diabetes and other concerns.

    Last week I began having severe cramping. My doctor told me to try tylenol and a hot shower, that it could be braxton hicks. I was having more than 10 contractions every half hour but that did not seem to concern anyone to have me come right in. However the tylenol seemed to help and i slept the whole day. Later i had mild cramps which turned into severe cramps again by middle of night. When i woke up I was having bleeding of the brownish color. They told me to come right in. Throughout the whole cramping episode, the baby was extremely active. However the morning of the bleeding, I did not feel him at all. They began monitoring me at the hospital with a Non stress test and contraction test. it appeared after 3 hours of testing that the baby was not moving and heartbeat, while still in normal range, was taking irregular dips. They performed an emergency C-section that my husband was unable to attend. They put me out with general anesthesia. When I came to, I was in extreme pain and was asking for my baby. The doctor told me "He didn't make it. He never took a breath."

    That was the most devastating moment of my life. Of course I asked why and are you sure and all of that. They let me hold him. He was perfect, over 5 pounds with all his body parts intact. They said they tried every means to revive him for over an hour but he never breathed on his own or with artificial means.

    I cannot tell you how heartbroken my husband I am. This is our first child and it took us years to conceive him. Other than the diabetes, and some swelling, I never had major complications. Of course I am blaming myself and the doctors that I should have been more carefully monitored due to the diabetes and the fact that I was having periods of decreased fetal movement starting about 4-6 weeks ago. But he would always start moving again so I didn't think it was a problem. I am being told not to blame myself but it is difficult not to.

    WE named him Patrick and I did get to hold him 3 times. It was so difficult to look at his dead little body and see all my hopes and dreams die with him. I have been home since the weekend and it has been over a week since his death. I made him a memorial in his room with photographs the hospital took, hand and footprints, hair snippings, flowers, stuffed animals, etc. I cry everyday and my heart hurts terribly.

    Has anyone gone through something like this? If so I would love to hear from you as to how you got through it.

    Also, I would like to warn pregnant moms, if you ever have ANY question about fetal movement, or feel something is not right, please demand to get yourself monitored immedietly. You may feel stupid if it is nothing, but nohting compares to the feeling of you could of done more in the end. Decreased fetal movement is a sign of fetal distress. Please take good care of yourselves moms and I wish you all the best for beautiful healthy babies.

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    Old 01-20-2005, 03:39 AM   #2
    Kiera1595
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    Re: My baby died. . .was due in FEB.

    Through my tears I can say nothing but that my thoughts are with you. I am so sorry.

     
    Old 01-20-2005, 04:20 AM   #3
    mpsweetie77
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    Re: My baby died. . .was due in FEB.

    I am so sorry. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your husband.

     
    Old 01-20-2005, 05:37 AM   #4
    mommaboyz
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    Re: My baby died. . .was due in FEB.

    Im so sorry now youve got me worried with all the cramps ive been having. Im promising myself now next time I get them Im going to be monitored. Im so sorry for your loss. I cant say ive been there but my heart goes out to you and you dh. Im sure he was beautiful. If I may ask you did you have contractions all the time on and off leading up to this point? Im not trying to be rude I know your in alot of pain but Im just curious cause Im 5 months and have them alot and it makes me wonder too.

     
    Old 01-20-2005, 06:18 AM   #5
    jmcummins3
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    Re: My baby died. . .was due in FEB.

    I am so sorry for your loss. I do not even know what to say to comfort you right now except that I will pray for you and your family. I can only imagine what you must be going through. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.

     
    Old 01-20-2005, 06:45 AM   #6
    hunnybun1504
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    Re: My baby died. . .was due in FEB.

    there is no ammount of words that can comfort a loss like that, but i am so sorry to hear that it has happened to you...my thoughts are with you and your husband and patrick, and i hope you both find a way to get through with each other..good luck, and were always here for a shoulder to lean on if you need it ..

     
    Old 01-20-2005, 06:45 AM   #7
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    Re: My baby died. . .was due in FEB.

    I don't know what to say but I am so sorry for your loss. I can't stop crying with you. I have had so many problems so far with this one, that I have been in fear of losing my baby all along also. I am only 14 wks though. I dont think there is really anything anyone can say to make you feel better. I had a friend who lost her baby about the same gestational age as you did. She was very sad for a long time. And still to this day on the babies birthday, she has a lil party/quiet memorial for the baby, and it is hard all over again. I wish I could say something to make things better, but time is healing. Hope you feel better soon. Prayers to you and your husband. hugsssssssssssssssss

     
    Old 01-20-2005, 06:49 AM   #8
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    Re: My baby died. . .was due in FEB.

    i don't even know what to say. the world can be so cruel. my tears fall for your little boy as well as you and your family. god i wish i had something better to say. i am so so so so so sorry.
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    Old 01-20-2005, 07:03 AM   #9
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    Re: My baby died. . .was due in FEB.

    Hope2heal, Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this difficult time. [removed] It is by far one of the most hurtful and tragic things that could ever happen to anyone. I am so so sorry for all your pain. I will say a prayer for you. Peace and love,

    ValleyGurl

    Last edited by Moderator BAC; 01-20-2005 at 07:23 AM. Reason: Do not identify yourself as a medical professional! Read and follow our rules!

     
    Old 01-20-2005, 07:04 AM   #10
    CJennings
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    Re: My baby died. . .was due in FEB.

    I'm sorry I cannot console you because I have not been through it myself but please believe me when I say your son served a purpose even if you may never know. Your story because you told it could help save other babies. Also know this is not your fault God needed him above. With love and prayers, a friend.

     
    Old 01-20-2005, 07:20 AM   #11
    louiseb
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    Re: My baby died. . .was due in FEB.

    so sorry for your loss. take care of yourselvves our thoughts are with you.

     
    Old 01-20-2005, 07:46 AM   #12
    prayn4ababy
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    Re: My baby died. . .was due in FEB.

    I am so sorry for your loss- I have never been in your situation but have had family members to lose their baby-
    my prayers are with you and your dh!!

     
    Old 01-20-2005, 08:03 AM   #13
    kierrasmommy
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    Re: My baby died. . .was due in FEB.

    I am so sorry for your loss. I am thinking about you both. Take care.

     
    Old 01-20-2005, 08:33 AM   #14
    Di12779
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    Re: My baby died. . .was due in FEB.

    I am so very sorry to hear about your tragic loss. My heart goes out to you and your family. You will all be in my thoughts and prayers.

     
    Old 01-20-2005, 09:49 AM   #15
    suziro
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    Re: My baby died. . .was due in FEB.

    I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful baby boy Patrick. I do know how you feel, I had a miscarriage when I was 10 weeks with my second child and I knew something was wrong but felt no one took me seriously. Anyway I went on to miscarry and it was awful, I felt that part of me was missing and I don't think to be honest you ever completely get over it but it does get easier to bear with time and please don't think I am being cruel by saying that. This January 31st will be the fourth anniversary and I was blessed to already have a little girl and to be pregnant with my little boy (now nearly 3) on my baby's due date. My little boy is not a replacement for the baby I lost but it did help to have him come along. I was not as far along as you so did not have the mixed blessing of being able to see and hold him or her but I pray God will be there for you and hold your hand through this very hard time and you will see him again one day. I found one of the hardest things was that every where I looked people seemed to be pregnant and having babies and I felt I had to ease other people's awkwardness as well for them because people do care but they don't know what to say. I would just say don't deny how you feel or bottle it up, you will feel devastated and angry and confused, that is only natural. Anyway I don't know if this has helped but I will pray for you and your family and just know you are not alone . Suzi

     
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