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Just isnt fair..hate this feeling!

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Old 02-21-2006, 01:45 AM   #1
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duff19 HB User
Just isnt fair..hate this feeling!

My sister has been lucky enough to have 2 healthy children even though she is only 22. I was about the same age as her when I got pregnant, but sadly I miscarried. I love her children but sometimes I feel jealous towards her. Back when she gave birth a while back I didnt go to the hospital, I just sat alone and felt sorry for myself. The finally when I could bring myself to go see the baby I cried when I held him. I was mad,hurt, angry, upset. I want to be happy for them but I just cant seem to bring myself to stop feeling jealous and mad that I didnt get any babies and she got 2. Am I a terrible person? I want to find a way to be more easygoing and comfortable around my new nephew but the pain drags me away from him and I have a hard time getting close to him. Is there anything I can do. I love him to death, but its just not fair!

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Old 02-21-2006, 04:00 AM   #2
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dh22 HB User
Re: Just isnt fair..hate this feeling!

The thing that you have to remember it isn't her fault, his fault or is it your fault. If you begin to resent them for this you will have a hard time keeping a relationship with your sister and her children. i know it's hard but they are your family and they did not make this happen to you.
i also know that me telling you this doesn't make it ok - nor make you feel better about it but i learned through all my issues that being mad at someone because of what has happened to me id not make me have a baby any faster.
4 Kids in 2 1/2 years...
ready to put my body back together!

Old 02-21-2006, 07:58 AM   #3
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CRR0908 HB User
Re: Just isnt fair..hate this feeling!

I just wanted to let you know that I feel how you feel. My sil found out she was pregnant just 2 wks after my first miscarriage. I feel alot of resentment even though I know I should be excited for her. I can't even see her right now because it's too hard to cope with. I hope that we both can find a way to cope with this and move on.

Old 02-21-2006, 10:17 AM   #4
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Cupcake3 HB User
Re: Just isnt fair..hate this feeling!

Hi Ladies,

I just wanted to say that you are not alone on this one. I am resentful of pregnant ladies around me. My assistant is prego and right now I am thinking how can this be and she smokes, does not eat well, does not take care of herself and I did all the things that were right and this happened to me??? What did I do to deserve this??

But, we have to look at the bigger pix and realize that everything happens for a reason..

I hope we can all cope and move on, so that one day soon we will have our precious little ones...

take care all..

Old 02-27-2006, 02:12 PM   #5
Join Date: Oct 2005
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ibelieve HB User
Re: Just isnt fair..hate this feeling!

So glad I'm not the only one who feels this way. I had my 2nd MC in Nov, and now several of my pg friends are starting to have their babies and I am trying to psych myself up so I will be able to go visit them. I figure it to be this way: They are my friends, and they celebrated my initial good news with me, and then cried with me after the loss. So I know they are rooting for me, and will be there whenever I have a baby. But it still sucks, and I know that if I am unable to visit, they will understand. Good luck to you!

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