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Planted Maya"s Rose

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Old 04-30-2006, 03:03 PM   #1
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 8
Mysticat13 HB User
Planted Maya"s Rose

Hi, I really need to share and some support.
21 days ago I was rushed into the hospital at 6 in the morning, was hemorageing at 13 weeks pregnant. Was informed everything was opening and I was miscarrying. Had sever pain (actually had back ache the whole week before and did not think it was related as I have back problems). Had to be put on Morphine for the pain. At 2:30 in the afternoon had an unltrasound. The baby was gone. Baby was only about 10 weeks old and was still attached. (I realized afterwards that my pregnancy symptoms had stopped aroud this time.)I started to get a fever so an emergency D & C was ordered. By 7pm I was in surgery and everything was over.
This was my first pregnancy and I am 40 years old. We did everything naturally (herbally) to balance my body and to become fertile. It took a year on this treatment as opposed to 18 years trying other ways.
But, the D & C was hard on my body. I had a very painful and crampy first week. Could barly walk sometimes it was so bad. Second week pain was duller and less bleeding but not fun. This third week is spotting off and on days. But no pain. WHEN will it end? Emotionally I am still very troubled and very sad. Somtimes it feels like I don't want to move. And then I get up and just DO things just to stop thinking.
But today we palnted a white rose bush to honor Maya...our lost daughter.
I am so glad I found this thread! Though I have been lurking for awhile. I just need to share my story. I knew I was not alone...but sometimes I really feel like it.


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Old 04-30-2006, 06:43 PM   #2
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Washington Court House, OH
Posts: 120
scrappin HB User
Re: Planted Maya"s Rose

Hi Mysti,

I know everyone grieves differently, but I can tell you that now that I am 6 wks out from losing my Hannah, I can look back and tell that I am getting "better". It still hurts like heck, I still cry every day (just not all day), I can usually say her name. I still have a pain in my chest that doesn't go away, but I am at least functioning most of the time now. I know what you mean about feeling alone... I've often felt that way even within my own home.

I am so sorry about your baby. This isn't a fun club to belong to. The thing that gets me through to the next day is the hope of seeing her in heaven one day. I can't wait to spend eternity rocking with her.

I've found that being on this board helps too. At least it is people who can understand the pain of losing a child even one that didn't get to live in this world.


Old 05-01-2006, 07:34 AM   #3
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Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 299
Cupcake3 HB User
Re: Planted Maya"s Rose

Hi all, sorry for both of your losses.. it is not an easy road but with time you will be better. A year ago exactly I lost my first @ 13 weeks...It is devistating for me. I am ok now, I am always wonder why this happened, but will try sometime again soon.

I wish you well and time heels all. Talk about it as much as you can and do not harbor and bad thoughts or feelings...

take care

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