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Old 07-05-2006, 09:32 AM   #1
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Washington Court House, OH
Posts: 120
scrappin HB User
Need to vent

For the fourth we went to my mom and dad's for a cookout and swim before heading out for the fireworks. Dh and the kids were out in the yard setting off some fireworks and my mom, sisters, and I were on the porch with the youngest kids. Someone noticed my new necklace, so I was telling them about it. "It's a small heart with baby footprints on the front and Hannah's (stillborn 3-17-06) initials on the back. There is a birthstone for March" and my mom says "huh? who?" I just looked at her and continued " and a birthstone for Aug since she was due on the second." My mom says "oh that, I wasn't thinking." and she walked away. I don't know what my face looked like, but my sisters looked shocked.

First off, how can she forget her grandchild after only 4 months? By the way, she is not old and senile. Secondly, my child never was, nor ever will be, a that. She is a living being that happens to live in heaven instead of here with me. Maybe she didn't mean it like it sounded, but it sure didn't sound good. I can't believe she can hear Hannah's name and not know who that is!

Unfortunately, my mom has been less than supportive throughout this whole ordeal, so maybe I shouldn't have been surprised. I'm glad she didn't know about our recent loss. I'm sure she would have some fine comments for that too.

Anyway, I will never forget my Hannah, anymore than I could forget one of my living children.


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Old 07-05-2006, 11:34 AM   #2
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: UK
Posts: 479
gemmalou HB User
Re: Need to vent


im so sorry for your loss Pam, i think its a great idea about the necklace, i m/c'd back in january and bought myself a footprints bracelet. i know it may just seem like tat to some people but i really believe that it helped me, i havent been through exactly what you have and can only sympathise wih you, its such a terrible way to loose something so precious, but sadly some people dont quite get just how deeply this can affect a person. I find the people who have been through similar situations are so supportive with everything, but people who have not experienced anything like this find it difficult, when i had my m/c people just ignored me or avoided me because they didnt know how to talk to me, maybe this is the case with your mother? mayb she is afraid of talking about Hannah for fear or making you relive all your pain and hurt.

i hope you wont have to go through any more pain and get the baby miracle you wish for .


Old 07-06-2006, 06:43 AM   #3
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: glasgow
Posts: 76
glitterpink HB User
Re: Need to vent

Oh Pam,

That is too awful for words - how hurtful. I think that was very insensitive and I hope somebody pulled your mum aside and told her so!! I would have!! Shame on her.

Some people are just plain dumb and we just need to try and ignore them.

Take good care of yourself,


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