Did I unintentionally cause a miscarriage?? =[

03-01-2009, 11:03 PM

Please Read. It may look like alot but I NEED YOUR HELP!

Hi everyone--

Recently, my best friend of all my life has become extremely sexually active, and she is only 15 years old! And on the past January 27th she had missed her period, and was very sexually active! During this time she experienced lots of flu like symptons, was not eating well, and was on prescription medication..all of which were reasons she claimed for missing her period. I didnt think so. I became very concerned for her and began saving up money for a test and researched like crazy online! What a crazy concerned friend I was, huh? Around the 15th of February, still being late, my anxiety for her took a turn for the worse....
She was hanging out at my house and we began to joke around, pretending to wrestle each other, when unknowingly I squeezed her stomach slightly hard enough for her to say "ouch" but not super hard, and it only lasted about 3 or 4 seconds.Jokingly, she said"i bet you killed the baby". Right then, I freaked out! I felt like I was gonna lose my mind and for days couldnt sleep because I thought I killed this possible baby.
Now, being a guy and all I dont know much about pregnancy and whatnot so I did research on miscarriages. For the next week and a half she showed no symptons of a miscarriage like bleeding, back ache, or cramps(she did have some, due to her flu).I began to question whether or not I did hurt the "baby".Then the 27th of February rolled around, one month TO THE DAY that she was supposed to get her period last(Jan.27) and she gets her period!(or is it?) After this, many people have told me to relax, I did nothing wrong that shes just young and had an irregular period,or that i didnt use enough force to hurt a baby that wouldve been inside her, or that maybe her illness or medication threw off her period.So my question to you is does this seem like an irregular period story to you guys or a miscarriage?Im still freaking out! And I also read that it takes 4 to 6 weeks for periodto return after a miscarriage, so it wouldve been to early (1 1/2 weeks) for her to get her period even if i did give her a miscarriage? Do all signs point to me being ok? PLEASE HELP!

Thank you so much in advance!
-Jared

03-02-2009, 12:32 AM

I cannot say that it wasn't an early miscarriage, BUT.....if it was, you could not have caused it. To injure somebody enough to dislodge an embryo, she would have known she was hurt. Those little suckers are built to survive and hang on. If she did miscarry, then it probably means that either her body or the embryo was not sustainable at this time, and it would have happened anyway. Relax! You sound like a terrific friend and she is lucky to have you in her life. Sera.

03-02-2009, 10:51 AM

Jared you didn't do anything wrong. She probably wasn't even pregnant. Just by pinching someone's belly wouldn't cause a miscarriage. And if it was possible, it would have happened a lot sooner than it did. It probably was a delayed period, considering how young she is and all. You sound like a really conscientious young man, and I agree with the other poster that she's really lucky to have you as a friend.

03-09-2009, 12:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Seraph

I cannot say that it wasn't an early miscarriage, BUT.....if it was, you could not have caused it. To injure somebody enough to dislodge an embryo, she would have known she was hurt. Those little suckers are built to survive and hang on. If she did miscarry, then it probably means that either her body or the embryo was not sustainable at this time, and it would have happened anyway. Relax! You sound like a terrific friend and she is lucky to have you in her life. Sera.

Thank you to everyone for your replies!

Hey Sera,
Just a quick question on your reply. When you say you cannot say whether it was a miscarriage or not, what are the possible signs from this story that it may or may not be? Is it that she has started to vaginally bleed recently? That does make alot of sense. But then again Im now sorta freaking out that I maybe I did cause it, and she just didnt bleed at all or show any symptons. Which is kinda out of the question right? Im sure shes fine and im just paranoid, haha. The way you put it just kinda confused me and made me nervous.

Another quick update..she told me after she started to bleed it did last for 5 days like her normal periods used to last..accompanied with the usual cramps and PMS'ing(trust me I had to deal with that talking to her on the phone!)
So maybe Im just gonna go out on a limb and say shes fine? And that I just got some anxiety issues to worrk out, aha! =]

What do you guys think?

THANKS!
-Jared

03-09-2009, 01:33 AM

Please forgive yourself, while noone can say for sure if it was a miscarriage, it was definitly not caused by you. Woman have been have been pregnant thousands of times without knowing it and been fine. My sister was cutting firewood, refinishing floors, scraping and painting her porch all while she was about 2 1/2 months along, unbeknown to her. Basically, if the baby is viable, barring any medical problems from the mom, moderate activity is fine. Unfortunately, if the baby isn't, theres not much anyone can do. From what you described, you did nothing wrong. I wish you both well in the future.

03-09-2009, 03:44 AM

If you have a really early miscarriage, then you may not realise it. The clump of cells would just be like a clot, which many women pass during their period. I read somewhere that there are many more early miscarriages than we realise, because they go unnoticed. This would only happen because the embryo is not viable, or the womb surface is not suitable at that time, and would still have nothing to do with any sort of external incident. Sera.

03-11-2009, 10:17 PM

Thanks so much for your replies guys, I really appreciate it. I have a bad anxiety problem is the thing, annd like I said all your responses made me feel so much better, but i did read some that said "if it was a miscarriage" which totally set me off again haha(dont think its your fault guys, like i said im just paranoid and i do appreciate your input), so ya I guess I freaked some more and thought "ugh,, what if i set off some weird freak accident and the squeezing cause a miscarriage, and for some reason she didnt show any of the signs of it...then got her period two weeks later because the miscarriage was over and the fetus was gone"..which after reading your VERY hellpful responses made me realize this is not possible(right?? haha).Im gonna try and ease up on my stress now, thank you guys again.
If anyone still has some input theyd like to throw in, please eel free, the more..the better!

thanks guys!!
-Jared

04-06-2009, 10:08 AM

Jared,

As a woman who has had several miscarriages, there is just one thing no one else mentioned and I thought you should know and keep in mind for the future.

In order for a person to cause a miscarriage in a woman, he/she would have to hit the pregnant woman extremely hard. Equivalent to falling down the stairs or getting into a car accident. A bump or squeeze to the stomach (even if it kinda hurt) will not induce a miscarriage. That is not to say that falling down stairs or getting into minor accidents will cause a miscarriage. I was in a minor accident at 5 months and am fine. Not to mention, my kids unintentionally bump my stomach all the time when playing around. (My baby is now due anyday and is healthy.) It all depends on the force of impact to the stomach and the trauma received by the mother.

Keep that in mind next time you are around a pregnant female and you should be ok.

Did I unintentionally cause a miscarriage?? =[

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