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So so sad

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Old 06-29-2009, 02:55 PM   #1
Twin Mom
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 2
Twin Mom HB User
So so sad

I'm new here. I have 3.5 yo twins. We needed IVF to conceive after trying for over a year to conceive on our own. Doctors couldn't figure out anything wrong with either my dh or I so we were labeled unexplained infertility.

Father's Day I was 5 days late for my period so I took a test. I was absolutely thrilled to have 2 positive pregnancy tests. I have never had a positive test and was absolutely over the moon. I instantly fell in love with my tiny little baby.

Well, I was 6 weeks 1 day yesterday and started bleeding quite heavily. I went to the dr today (had a prior appt scheduled for my first ultrasound) and I am no longer pregnant. I am so utterly sad. I never new it would hurt this much since I only found out I was pregnant a little over a week ago. I can't stop crying or thinking about it. To me it was a miracle that we got pregnant on our own.

I didn't even know how much I wanted another baby. I want one so bad it hurts. My eyes burn from crying. I try to tell myself that some people have it so much worse losing a child later in gestation, but I still feel my loss.

Any success stories with a situation like mine? (IVF, miracle pregnancy only to end in miscarriage) I am still bleeding but want to try for another as soon as possible.

Thank you for reading.

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Old 06-30-2009, 10:42 AM   #2
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 260
Marie84 HB User
Re: So so sad

Miscarriage is so common, with miracle pregnancies or not. I never realized how common they were until I had one and started to do my research. Although that doesnt make it ANY easier, it is a little comforting to know that other people have survived I can too. The REALLY good news in your case is that you got pregnant on your own! Were you trying? I have read that once you get pregnant on your own once getting pregnant again will be so much easier. Its like you have broken through the barriers of infertility.
I was able to get pregnant again two months after my miscarriage, now I am 35 we are hoping for the best. You may be able to have the same story.
One thing that kept me going was that it does get better as time goes on BUT your next pregnancy will be harder because it will be VERY hard to believe that it is all going to be ok. I STILL worry....but in five weeks when my baby is here it will all be worth it.
Me: 24 (25 in Jan.)
My husband: 25
Peanut: decided to go to Heaven in August
New baby: Due 08 08 09!

Old 07-01-2009, 11:03 AM   #3
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 469
Hope2Heal HB User
Re: So so sad

I am sorry for your loss. We never did IVF but had struggled for years to get pregnant then one day did on our own out of the blue only for our baby to die at 36 weeks along. We used birth control for about 10 months after because I was on some medications that you can't take when trying to get pregnant. I went off the meds, got the green light from the doctor to go ahead and try again, and we got pregnant on the first try. I was shocked because we had been actively trying the first time around for about 4 years and here we had just tried one time and got it. We are now blessed with a happy healthy almost 3 year old. I think that once your body has been pregnant and given birth, it often knows what to do on its own the next time. I know this is not always the case but often it is. I know you are heartbroken right now and it is a very dark and sorry place to be in. So much uncertainty, what ifs, and why me? I know all of these feelings well. Hang in there and keep your eye on your hopes for another. It can and does happen all the time. Keep us posted

Old 07-02-2009, 12:14 AM   #4
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: brisbane queensland australia
Posts: 97
Kylie80 HB User
Re: So so sad

Sorry for your loss.. I don't have any sucess stories as of yet but hoping and praying.

I have gone though the pain of this 2 times over- both IUI Babies. Our first little one in 2004 I misscarried at 12 weeks but it was only 6 weeks on I cried felt every thing you are going through .. Our second little one 2009 we were put in a nightmare where at 14 weeks was diagnosed with a fatal complication and we had no choice to terminate the pregancy.. This one was so much harder as I had been for 4 scans and heard the heart beat,
You will go on I know I did even when I thought I couldn't I'm hoping to try again soon as I hope this will help with the healing process. I will never forget my little ones think about them every day, but long to hold a little one in my arms.

Old 07-02-2009, 11:06 AM   #5
Twin Mom
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 2
Twin Mom HB User
Re: So so sad

Thank you all for your kind words and sharing your stories. I am so sorry for what you've gone through. I can't imagine losing a baby at 36 weeks or having to terminate.

I am feeling more optimistic if that's even the right word. I know I need another baby. It won't take the place of my angel baby, but knowing I had a life inside of me and thinking of their future in our lives makes me yearn for another one. I just wish I never even knew I was pregnant.

Thank you again.

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