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need to vent...

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Old 07-24-2005, 11:03 AM   #1
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 382
curious11 HB User
need to vent...

My gut feeling is that I have MS. Everything I am experiencing points toward MS as well as the fact that my brother has it. However, I have kept most of my symptoms to myself. I know how my mother works. My brother has MS, and unless every single thing I have is what he had, then I dont have MS. Im not critisizing her... but thats how it works. When I first got referred to the neurologist, I told my mom that they would be looking for MS, and she laughed it off like "you dont have MS, haha". Like it was a foolish idea. Well I very well may. So besides the leg weakness I have, and the loss of vision in my left eye, she didnt know anything else. Today I told her about the numbness because I had to call out of work. I'm a waitress and it's been a chore to do my job... and now the added numbness/ tingling... I knew it wouldnt be good. I trip over my own feet and can't catch myself because my leg muscles are too weak. It's awfully embarassing. Anyways... she keeps saying she wants to go to my neuro. appts with me, but I never tell her when they are. She told me today she was going to call my neuro in the morning and find out what they are looking for. I got defensive and told her they are looking for MS. She told me the MRIs were clear and I dont have it. I told her that isnt always true. She disagreed with me. Once again... my brothers showed lesions right away, so that must be how it is... No. I told her I planned to get a second opinion after my neuro opthamologist appt. I told her that if they say I have optic neuritis then the probability of my symptoms being cause by MS is alot greater. My brother hasnt had ON, so she didnt say anything. The bottom line is... I know I am the type to research into things and diagnose myself. But she is the type to go by only what she knows and make assumptions. Needless to say... she wants me to call my brothers neuro tomorrow and make an appt. I plan on doing so. She also wanted to suggest to my neuro that all this might be caused from medication I am on.. ie birth control. However, I am not on birth control or any other medication and havent been for over 6 months. I just cant imagine that being the cause of muscle weakness, numbness, loss of vision, tingling down my spine and legs when I look down at my feet etc. That all sounds like a nerve issue to me. Idont know... sorry but I really had to vent.

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Old 07-24-2005, 12:18 PM   #2
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Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Phoenix AZ
Posts: 1,339
lilc HB User
Re: need to vent...

I don't blame you for venting, glad you did. It is too bad that someone you would want to rely on for support is being so difficult. Don't know your mom, but depending on how hard your brother's MS has been for her to watch, she may just be fighting to maintain a state of denial. My mom is no longer living, but in the 6 months before she died we did more talking than in the 40+ years up to then. I was amazed to learn that she blamed herself for a lot of the things my siblings and I had been through! She thought she had birthed "defective" children. Hope she knows now that we are ALL perfect, we just have had trials assigned to us in this life to make us stronger!

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