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Hardly care anymore.......

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Old 10-04-2007, 07:18 PM   #1
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Salt lake city, utah
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Dutchgirl HB User
Unhappy Hardly care anymore.......

I'm lost, and so very very depressed that it's hard to care anymore....... I have had pain now for 4 years, and had 2 cervical surgeries within 9 mos.

Aug. 22nd of 2006 ACDF on C5/6
May 22nd of 2007 ACDF on C6/7

C6/7 basically fell apart right after my first surgery, and it was already herniated in the first place, and by the time it was taken out it was flattening my spinal cord. I still have a grade I-II herniation on C4/5 on the right, and grade I on C3/4. Disc degeneration on all levels, and Facet disease along with arthritis. I just had my EMG, and it said:

Chronic left C7 radiculopathy (which is the side all the disc pain was on first). Denervation in the right FDI muscle (no idea what that means), and also right Ulnar neuropathy, and median nerve compression at the right wrists. Funny thing is is that my neurosurgeon does not know what could cause that?? That's how all the crap on the left started, and not it's starting on the right.

I feel like my hands are not even there, and the pain wakes me up in the middle of the night, and also the numbness. In the morning I can barely move, and cannot get to work until about 5:00 PM. BUT now that it is storming I ache and ache and ache, and cannot even dry my hair! I just want to give up! My job includes typing the whole time, and that aggravates the crap out of my hands.

Sorry.... I feel like I am hanging on by my nails, and feel so alone, and yes no one other than you guys would understand this horrid pain, and feeling like your a plugged in christmas tree all day long. Oh and yeah I especially love that tingling or the feeling that ants are crawling all over my head all day long. I am on the highest dose of Cymbalta, and also I take Wellbutrin, and I absolutely hate hated the Neurontin! I take Valium to go to sleep, and that helps a little. I am pretty worried that I am going to lose my job, and even that my husband is getting sick of me being in pain, and will leave me.

I just want to scream and cry, but none of that helps! When it says Chronic left C7 radiculopathy does that mean it's permanent? Or could it possibly still heal? What about the Ulnar and Median nerve thing, will that go away?


C5/C6 ACDF 08-22-06
C6/C7 ACDF 05-22-07

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Old 10-06-2007, 06:15 PM   #2
steve pn
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Adelaide
Posts: 4
steve pn HB User
Re: Hardly care anymore.......

Hi Dutch, I have PN diagnosed with it 7 years ago. I lost my job 2 years ago, my wife didnt want a husband that couldnt provide for her and all her wants, holidays overseas etc, so she departed saying the marriage isnt what it used to be, a weak excuse, what happened to for better for worse for richer for poorer, and in sickness and in health....right out the door, and to top it off ,im about to loose the house i built and live in a caravan...sorry if that upset you, but having a disease and being in pain 18 hours a day is no fun, i too am depressed and think the only way out is to take that bottle of sleeping pills to take away the pain once and for all, I have a son, and he is not going to loose his father over this.

Old 10-06-2007, 09:06 PM   #3
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Montgomery, AL. USA
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bygrace1 HB User
Re: Hardly care anymore.......

Annette, have you tried Lyrica for pn damage yet? It works much better than neurotin. Also, you are not alone when you feel lost, alone and no one understands the pain and frustration at no matter how hard you try, not even the drs can help at times. But, I have found God does. Even when I used to question His will, He was still faithful. When the going is so bad, now I try to remember nothing is touching my life that has not already filtered through His hands. Sheila

Old 10-06-2007, 11:27 PM   #4
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AnnD HB UserAnnD HB User
Re: Hardly care anymore.......

I am so sorry for your pain and I can only hope your husband can stick it out because you are important. I am concerned that you should also be on some sort of pain patch for the pain. If it weren't for pain patches plus oral pain meds my husband also could not get through the day. Cymbalta has been said to help with the pain but it does not and if you are not on some serious pain meds that gets you through the day then you need to insist on a pain specialist. Are you on these antidepressants for the pain or for the fact you are depressed? I hope your doctors understand that they do not work for this serious pain you are having. I have watched my husband for 2 years in such pain he can now barely move so I very much understand what you are going through and I just do whatever I can to encourage him to hang in there. But I am so glad he is on the appropriate amount of pain medication so he can have some happiness in the day. He too struggles with going to work and right now he has been off for a couple weeks waiting for his 3rd surgery to fix yet another problem in his lower spine
When it says it is a Chronic Lleft C7 condition Radiculopathy They are not saying it is permanent they are just saying it has been happening so long they are not calling it Chronic. Radiculopathy is not a specific condition just that it covers all the things you are describing here in this post. Well take care and be sure you let your husband know how much you appreciate his support and put up with your seemingly never ending pain(even if it could be more he needs to hear it from you).

Old 10-07-2007, 07:27 AM   #5
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Re: Hardly care anymore.......

so sorry for what you are going thru,been there and am still there but now with a spinal cord injury too.if you scroll on down to the spinal boards just a few scrolls down,there are many many people there who are dealing with alot of severe c spine issues right now.some good knowlegable folks there.i just think this board can help you much more with your particular issues.

just wondering if you have been dealing with the very same neurosurgeon thru all of this or whether you have sought out different opinions for your issues?it can make a huge difference in your treatments,and how another surgeon may really view your problems based on their knowledge and overall experiences.anyone who has what you have going on just really does need more than one opinion.just check out that other board hon,it will help you.good luck with all of this.hang in there,Marcia
3-22-01,herniated C-6-7
11-20-01,placement of hardware for failed fusion
9-22-03,removal of cavernous hemangioma that was inside spinal cord. Neuro damage to L hand L leg and R leg.

Old 10-14-2007, 05:30 AM   #6
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: KC, MO
Posts: 2,209
yvette777 HB User
Re: Hardly care anymore.......

Hey honey, take a deep breathe. I to can get deep deep down in depression with the pain and the effects of this all. You know maybe you need to loose your job it sounds like it isn't the one suited for you physically. I know we need jobs dont' get me wrong. Check into vocational rehabilitation ok, you can qualifty for free schooling or training into a new profression that will not interfere with you recovery, also they work with social security and if they say you are untrainable or if there is not a job you can do you win ss. I mean for now you need to heal right.

Living in pain sucks I know and after my fusion I tried going back to my prev job and I kept making it worse on myself and it took alot before I realized hey I can't freaking do this anymore.

Also can u go to counseling to get so,me help venting? I know how bad it can get.

Hang int there. vetter

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