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leighallen 09-22-2011 07:38 AM

Just becoming too much
I know I sound like a big cry baby and I feel guilty for not being stronger. There are days I just think I can't take the pain any more. Between the worry with bills due to not working and the run around I get there, call this person and that person and send this paperwork and that paperwork and the pain that is so intense sometimes, I just don't know how I can make it through this. I pray, I pray so hard for strength and relief.
Do any women out there remember what labor was like, that intense pain that you just couldn't get at. That's what I feel like a lot of the time, only it's in my feet, legs and fingers. I do have semi good days when it is all tolerable, but it seems like the days where I just don't know what to do are getting more and more common. Please someone help me. Please! I have a 12 year old that I have to raise and a mentally and physically disabled brother I'm guardian of. I am only 42 years old. I can't live like this.

RisingParrot 09-22-2011 08:48 AM

Re: Just becoming too much
You are not a cry baby....and VERY sorry you are going through all that...KNOW you are not alone!!!

The pain for sure can wear on you...for me it almost makes me feel like I did something wrong to deserve the pain... esp since even after all the doctors I've seen, none can tell me why I have PN nor anyway to help but to put me on pills that are supposed to help give me relief.

What kind of doctors have you seen and what is your diagnosis?Do you take anything for your pain?

For days are either I'm in intense pain from the time I wake up till I go to bed OR awful pain during that time. I try and stay positive and realize there isn't anything I can other then what I have to help me get through this battle. BUT believe me I have those days where I'm mad/angry/upset/depressed...I'm real lucky to have a support wife Kath has been my rock...goes to all apts w/me and keeps copies of my visits..and have some great friends that stand by me...also my family has helped us through rough times. This board too has helped me a lot.

I KNOW I'm one of the lucky ones that is still able to work but w/that said...I've also had those days when I wake up and KNOW there was NO way I'd be able to work today and called in.

Try and keep your head up and stay positive...keep fighting and I know I've vented a lot here so you can too...a lot here can relate to what you are going through.

I hope you have a pain free Thursday...the weekend is close.

leighallen 09-22-2011 09:41 AM

Re: Just becoming too much
Thanks so much for replying. I'm not working because I have worked at the same factory for 22 years and cannot do THAT TYPE of work any more. I have such bad days so frequently that I don't know how reliable I would be with any type of work, but more of a professional, desk type job would be more reasonable for me. I just today called a lawyer to try to get SS disability. I am going to school and was before all this happened. I want to hurry up and get a degree which would enable me to get a job that I CAN do. However, I have to live in the mean time, that's why I'm going to the lawyer.
I take 3600 mg of gabapentin (neurotin) a day and 100mg tramadol every 4 hrs, supplemented with 800mg ibuprofen when the really intense stuff hits. You described it perfectly it is either way intense pain or awful pain every day. Sometimes it varies during the day, but it never goes away. My diagnosis is small fiber peripheral neuropathy. They really don't know why I have it either, other than there was an indication of an antibody in my system. One doc says thats it, the other says that really doesnt mean anything, so who knows. I am now only seeing a pain dr. I am to begin seeing a pain psychologist next month (soonest I could get in, even though my pain dr said i needed to start right away) My blood pressure keeps getting really high so I see a general practitioner for bp meds. Dr had me on cymbalta, but I told him I didn't notice a difference with or without it so he said no sense in taking it then. He suggested lyrica, but with my income all messed up I really cant afford it.He said he thought I was on the best treatment plan for now anyway. He said this is just the way it is basically. Was yours progressive. Mine started out as little stings at the tips of my toes. then I would feel like someone was stabbing something in under my toenails. From there symptoms began piling up and the pain became gradually worse. I dont' think it has stopped growing either. I told him that and he said "hmm" Oh my, he is nice but he just keeps saying o.k. that's it. THIS IS IT???????? Ive been to 3 drs at the finest places in our area, Barnes Jewish in St. Louis MO, RIC in Chicago Ill. and Rusk Rehab in Columbia MO and they all say EXACTLY the same thing...which is the same thing that our hometown docs said in the first place....they don't know and live with it. HOW???

RisingParrot 09-22-2011 10:19 AM

Re: Just becoming too much
I do work in an office...I'm an admin assist for the owners of a software company in a city on the outskirts of Phoenix. I'm lucky that my job does have a lot of times when I'm sitting down(even though long periods of that is BAD for my legs) but will add since I have PN typing can be a pain since my hands are so bad...but I work through it and the owners all know my condition so they don't usually ask me to do more they I can ie w/my crappy balance I don't get stuck moving/carrying things.

I haven't looked into SS Disability yet...many have suggested it though.

I currently take 3600mg of Neurontin for my PN and 2 Pramipexole 0.25mg tabs for my RLS. I've never tried a pain Doctor...I HATE pills as it is and don't like taking what I do let alone more. I just saw my doctor on Monday and there is now talk of putting me on Cymbalta due to me not sleeping well and since I'm(and you)are taking max Neurontin they wanted to see if that would help..I'm not so sure I want to bother w/it.

I've tried Lyrica about 1 1/2 months ago to see if it helped me more then the Neurontin...and hated it...just made me more numb then I am went back to Neurontin..but never hurts to try to get relief.

I have Peripheral Neuropathy...How is your balance???? Mine is awful. My PN started on the bottom of my feet....they just hurt..thought maybe it was from my saw my GP Doctor...he referred me to a foot Doctor which referred me to a Neurologist...had a BUNCH of lab work..zap test...saw 3 more Neurologists...which did more labs/zap tests and also a spinal tap and ankle nerve biopsy.....found out they all agreed.. and since it started the pain is now from mid calf down to my toes and from just below my wrists to my fingertips....I have idea why...or how to address the issue besides pain the "we can't treat you until we know why you have PN"....which enraged me.

leighallen, believe me I've had this since 07 now...been mad/upset/******/depressed ect....which all doesn't help us at all...I decided a few years back to TRY and not let PN rule my life...I'm bigger then it is. K really helps me make it...and taught me to try and get on w/my life..don't let it get me isn't worth it. Try and be positive and know you are doing your best w/the hand you were dealt. We can't change it right now so just live your life and don't let PN make you live it the way it wants you to.

Hope you have a good morning and better afternoon.

leighallen 09-22-2011 11:30 AM

Re: Just becoming too much
I have some wonderful friends here in MO that came from Pheonix. I go to church with them. We are LDS. Just wondering if you know the name-it's a small world you know. The Gibbons family?

RisingParrot 09-22-2011 11:52 AM

Re: Just becoming too much
[QUOTE=leighallen;4847383]I have some wonderful friends here in MO that came from Pheonix. I go to church with them. We are LDS. Just wondering if you know the name-it's a small world you know. The Gibbons family?[/QUOTE]

That is awesome to hear.

I work in Mesa....the LDS Temple is VERY close to here and I work w/a few LDS members.

So glad you have a great support system, it is so important and not sure what i would do w/o them...maybe I depressed and lonely. :dizzy:

I've never heard of that last name.

Try and stay positive!!

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