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How to help MIL be able to wipe and bathe?

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Old 12-25-2017, 09:12 AM   #1
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 1
exhaustedDIL HB User
How to help MIL be able to wipe and bathe?

My MIL is morbidly obese. She is the "stereotypical" mean MIL but I realize her meaness is due to her feeling inadequate and crappy. I don't want to get into details of what she does and says (I think that would just seem petty on my part).

This past year I have taken on a zen buddhist type of living, for my own happiness and sanity. I'm still learning a lot, but I do know I want to improve my relationship with my MIL without losing my sanity while I'm trying.

The problem I'm struggling with, and to be frank here, my MIL REALLY smells. It's bad. A combination of rotting cheese and garlic. And when she sits on any upholstered furniture I can smell it for days after. Even when she sits on a wooden chair, that chair smells for a day or two. She is ruining my furniture and I'm about to start crying if I can't get the smell out after she leaves. She has always smelled as far back as I remember, but this last year it's been especially bad.

She is visiting us, arrived six days ago and she has not showered or bathed once. I don't know if I should say anything or just leave it and hope my furniture is able to be saved.

We have an accessible shower and bought a bariatric shower stool and have even asked if there's any other aides we can buy or borrow for her stay with us, but she says she's fine. But she stinks so so badly!

Another discussion forum suggested there are toileting aides to help her wipe and shower aides to help her shower, are these helpful? And would it be insulting to buy them for her?

Sorry if my thoughts are a bit scattered, I'm having a lot of trouble knowing what to do about this.

Is there a way to not embarrass her, but help her, encourage her to shower? Or am I best to not say anything?

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