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Why So Mean To Fat People?

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Old 03-28-2007, 03:12 PM   #1
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 63
Why So Mean To Fat People?

Hi Everyone,
Do You Feel As I Do, Like The Whole World Just Hates Us Fat People? I Am So Tierd Of People Trying To Give Me "advice". They Have No Idea How They Hurt My Feelings, Time After Time. Friends And Family Are Always Telling Me That I Must Exercise And They Think They Can Tell Me What Healthy Eating Is. They Have No Idea The Whole Emotional Side To It. It Really Is A Sad Way To Live, I Feel As If I Am Always Being Looked At, Always Judged. My Husband Is Mentally Abusive To Me And Thinks He Can Try To Control What I Eat. I Would Love To Be Thin, But In My 47yrs I Have Tried Every Diet And Yo Yo Dieted Till I Gained It All Back And More. I Love Food More Than Anything, It Is My Best Friend, My Comforter. I Will Never Be Thin. As Much As I Want To Loose Weight, It Just Gets Harder The Older I Get. I Am Just Tierd Of All The Predudice That Goes On. Thin People Have No Idea The Pain We Go Through. Would Love To Hear From Some Of You.

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Old 03-28-2007, 06:14 PM   #2
Senior Veteran
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Apex, NC
Posts: 940
whackedback HB Userwhackedback HB Userwhackedback HB User
Re: Why So Mean To Fat People?

Fat is the last safe PREJUDICE. If I were to give you crap for being a woman, or Morgan Freeman for being black, or Steven Hawking for being in a wheelchair, I'd be put under the jail. However, I could crack a fat joke about anyone (pot calling the kettle black), there'd be nothing but laughing going on.

You can't crack on anyone for race, sex, religion, height, sexual orientation, age, etc., but if you're fat, you're fair game.

Such is life.


PS. Unfortunately, you can't hide being fat. The decision is to do something about it and not look back. Try dieting, Weight Watcher's, or other ideas, and if you are so heavy at this time in your life (47), you might consider weight loss surgery to reduce the effects of high blood pressure, diabetes, and other conditions you might have.

Last edited by whackedback; 03-29-2007 at 05:13 AM. Reason: Added info./ Remembered the word PREJUDICE.

Old 04-02-2007, 07:55 PM   #3
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 30
embarrased2ask HB User
Re: Why So Mean To Fat People?

I believe a lot of it is that sometimes we lack self-confidence because of our size and we allow ourselves to be victimized. Find your voice and use it. Remind people of the respect you deserve.

If a 'friend' tells you what to diet and exercise, tell them what you've said here ... there's a lot more to obesity than food and activity ... it's very much a headgame and it hurts when you hear them state the obvious. You are fat, not stupid!!!

Why do you let your husband think he can control you and what you eat? That is disrecpectful and unloving!! Demand couples counselling. He NEEDS to treat you with respect. If he refuses, ask "Dear Abby's" famous question "Am I better off with him or without him?"

Personally speaking, I need to lose more than 100lbs ... I don't 'flaunt' my size, but I don't let it dictate who I am, either. I dress neatly and conservatviely, I hold a good job, I manage my household and I don't get bs from my husband or other family members. Do I sometimes feel 'discriminated against' because of my weight? Sure do, but I ignore it when it happens, and just push on ... either I have no use for the people who do it or if I need to work with them, I win them over with my skills and talents.

We are so much more than a number on a scale and we'd serve ourselves best if we never forget it!

(((hugs))) to you!

Old 04-03-2007, 10:23 PM   #4
Senior Veteran
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: NJ
Posts: 1,345
hessie28 HB Userhessie28 HB User
Re: Why So Mean To Fat People?

I'm post gastric bypass but gaining weight after spinal fusion surgery. Long story. Anyway, it is amazing how different I was treated after losing 165 pounds. People (mostly men) at work would talk to me. Before the weight loss they would just say hi and keep walking. People would hold doors open for me after the weight loss. Strangers say hi to you. Maybe the weight loss gave me more confidence then I had before. I don't know. Why are people so mean? It's sad.

Old 05-30-2007, 11:44 AM   #5
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Ocala, FL. USA
Posts: 1
lalobabbw HB User
Re: Why So Mean To Fat People?

Hello, fighting against society is a waste of time and energy. Our life is ours to own, so we must forget what other people are making you feel like. I've been obese all my life, I was always the "big girl" kids tried to make fun of, but I've always been witty with quick comebacks on their short-comings. I'm 35 at 280lbs, I was 305lbs and have been losing weight gradually for myself, not for anyone else. I truly understand how you feel, you go to a restaurant with your husband and all eyes are on you, people probably wondering "hmm, I wonder what she's going to order and how much is she going to eat?". Let me tell you, the first time I went to a restaurant here in Florida, all eyes watched me as I passed them to get to our table but they all were stunned when I looked at them in their eyes and simply said "why don't you take a picture?". I moved here from NYC and living there all my life, people seem more accepting of overweight women there, lots of men love them over there but here in Florida, it was a huge change. I've learned never to take any crap from anyone, no one is better than you and we have every right to enjoy the same things others do. We pay taxes and share the same air with all other types of people so why do we have such problems? I tell you what, live for yourself and forget or better yet, don't pay attention to what other people say since they can not relate to you. As for your husband, If my man ever downtalked me, he'd be out! Don't take abuse from your man like that, he should love you for you and not what you look like. If he doesn't like how you look physically, tell him to look in the mirror himself and that you have to deal with what he looks like and that he's no prize himself. Girl, life is too short, enjoy it while you're alive and well. Live life, don't worry about things you have no control over, you only have control over yourself and if you want to lose weight for yourself, it can be done. There is no time limit, just do it gradually and it will come naturally to you. Keep on, keeping on! Good luck to you and all us "fat girls". Peace.

Old 06-07-2007, 07:39 PM   #6
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 2
marleneta HB User
Re: Why So Mean To Fat People?

I think some people are mean to fat people and some fat people are pretty mean to thinner folks too. I worked in a large size woman's store and suffered some larger womens attitudes towards me as well. It goes both ways. I think when there is a will, there is a way. People are who they are, who they want to be. I just lost 30 pounds using Medifast. My daughter lost 60. My husband 40. It wasn't easy, but we did it together. I think gastric bypass fails eventually. It doesn't teach good habits, so you end up eating the same crap, but in smaller amounts, and it is costly. I have found that the best way to loose is to change your lifestyle, eat about 6 times a day, 5 of them small amounts, about 100 calories each high in protein, low in fat and carbs, and then 1 big meal, meat, fish, chicken, a few cups of salad or veges, vineger dressing. There is an appetite suppressing patch I plan to try too. It's called the applepatch diet patch. [removed] Hope it helps keep off the weight I lost. I have changed my whole way of eating at home. That's what it takes. For those who like bagels, Western Bagle has wonderful bread altenatives. Breads so high in protein. I buy them and freeze them.

Last edited by mod-anon; 06-08-2007 at 01:08 AM. Reason: Do not post commercial websites. Please read and follow the posting rules.

Old 06-14-2007, 07:33 PM   #7
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 53
Summer1972 HB User
Re: Why So Mean To Fat People?

yes it breaks my heart how overweight people are treated..My old dr. was very nice and understanding...Where I go now everytime I go in no matter what problem I have-its because of my weight ...I am currently about 160. But still anything is related to it. I am not a person just an overweight object. They treat me terrible and don't even listen to me tell them how hard I have tried. I am considering surgery or something because supposedly it will bring my bp down to normal

Old 06-15-2007, 09:46 AM   #8
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Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Memphis, TN, USA
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juju0128 HB User
Re: Why So Mean To Fat People?

See a movie called "Phat Girlz". Will make you feel lovely. I'm not really all that big, but, The message in this movie made me feel like a queen.
Judy J.

Old 06-23-2007, 03:17 PM   #9
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Renton, WA, USA
Posts: 6
Willie375 HB User
Re: Why So Mean To Fat People?

I used to be close to my ideal (ideal from the studies everyone tells you to look at) weight of 200 to 220 ten years ago. I didn't stay there and rose to 275. The people I worked with defnitely noticed my larger size and the comments were often funny but not always kind. For a long time (five years) I gave in to the peer pressure. Two years ago, I decided I needed to be what made me happy and that was to be larger. I have put on another 100 pounds and am just over 375. I like me this way and I know I am going to like me as I grow even larger. But boy did I get noticed - at work and when I go out. At work, people see me walk by or sit in meetings (if I can get in the chair) and will make somments or jokes. Those will hurt if you let them. I just decided not to let them hurt two years ago and be myself. I like being the way I am. I am concerned that as I keep putting on more weight and really start to look round and very obese, more and more comments will come. My work is highly valued - I don't think my size is accepted by my bosses. You just have to be yourself at work and not let it get to you.

Old 06-29-2007, 02:26 PM   #10
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 130
Callista HB User
Re: Why So Mean To Fat People?

Fat isn't actually the last safe prejudice--mental illness is still safe, too. If I'm depressed, ADHD, autistic, and fat (which I am), they can make fun of me all they like, and be socially acceptable! Sucks, doesn't it?

I say, forget them. I'm fat--live with it. They're just too closed-minded to even think about what life's like for me; so why do their stupid little opinions matter anyway?

People are scared of difference. When they see my big butt walking down the street, they see somebody that threatens their "I'm thin, I'm wonderful" world view. They figure, "hey, I'm better than them because they're fat". Everybody wants to feel good about themselves. Prejudice is a cheap way to do it.

On the social ladder, fat people and crazy people are at the bottom. That's not the way it ought to be. Jerks who make fun of fat, crazy people should be at the bottom.

Last edited by Callista; 06-29-2007 at 02:31 PM.

Old 07-07-2007, 11:14 AM   #11
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: wellingborough,northants,england
Posts: 52
pretty2121 HB User
Thumbs up Re: Why So Mean To Fat People?

well i am overweight it used to get me so down untill i decided to do some thing about i go gym 4 times a week.maybe others can try to do this

Old 07-07-2007, 12:32 PM   #12
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 130
Callista HB User
Re: Why So Mean To Fat People?

Indeed. Exercise can really help self-esteem. And you're helping every other fat person out there when you exercise in public: You're destroying the stereotype that we sit on our couches eating potato chips all day!

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