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  • some of my obsessing

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    Old 01-28-2019, 12:56 AM   #1
    Join Date: Jan 2019
    Location: Chicago, IL USA
    Posts: 5
    JLS08 HB User
    some of my obsessing

    I sometimes fear if I don't do things the right way something bad will happen. For instance if I type words incorrectly, I will be punished in some way or if I don't lock the door correctly bad things will occur. I often have a thought pop in my head like "If I type this next sentence correctly, my mom and I will live to an old age." Then I misspell a word and I panic that we might die early.

    I check doors and worry about whether I turned the stove off all the time. Many times when I get out of the car I have to check the doors at least two or three times. I often forget I locked the house doors and check at least 2 or 3 times. Also, even if I know I locked the door, if I go in the hallway with the door, I have to check if it's locked.

    ]I have extreme health anxiety and am always worried that I have something. I spend hours on the internet looking up information that will make me feel better. This works, but only for a short time until a new worry pops into my head about the same subject and then I will have to spend more time online looking for reassurance to calm my fears. I also visit the doctor..sometimes multiple also reassure me and make me feel better. I do this thing with getting reassurance from the internet for other issues and fears too.

    I worry an extreme amount about something and feel extreme panic. Often this stays until I get enough proof where I don't need to be worried anymore but then I move on to another worry. I usually only worry about one thing at a time, even if I'm skipping from one thing to another.

    I feel if I watch a TV show about a disease or even type the name of the disease that I will somehow get it. I sometimes have morbid thoughts about me doing horrible things like beating people up that I would never ever do. I almost always do something in my thoughts to remedy it for fear the the universe will make it happen because I thought it.

    It's ruining my life. At this moment there's something I'm worried about and I've had crying fits and panic attacks over it. How can I stop this?

    Last edited by Administrator; 01-28-2019 at 06:02 AM.

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    Old 01-28-2019, 09:15 AM   #2
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    Smile Re: some of my obsessing

    Dear JLS,

    I used to be similarly compulsive in my thoughts. My mind ran wild. and I felt like I had no control in life. My mind was crowded full of scary thoughts and fears. I was so over-whelmed and suffered great anxiety.

    One day I admitted this to a friend who told me no one can dwell on two thoughts at once. That was confusing, because to me my mind was full of fears & doubts. So, he told me to relax, and think of a flower garden for five minutes. He asked me to describe what I was seeing in my mind. I responded to describe flowers and sunshine and green leaves, and so on. He asked me how I felt. To my surprise, I felt rather calm and peaceful.

    This friend told me that fear is for protecting us from danger. So, of course, if I see a rattlesnake, fear is a helpful emotion so I can take action and get out of the snake's way. But if I I am feeling fear no matter what I see, then I need to turn that emotion off by changing how and what I dwell on. That was the first time I ever knew that our thoughts can be and need to be controlled.

    Now, believe me, back when we had this conversation I was in an utter fear pattern that was controlling my life. And, yes I did have bad experiences that had discolored my view of life.

    All my friend did was remind me that all of life is not a lurking rattlesnake ready to strike. Much of life is just the natural day and night, each with it's place, purpose and beauty. It's the same with situations and people. Some situations and people are dangerous, but by far the beautiful and peaceful ones far exceed the dangerous ones.

    The key here is to use your own mind to pay closer attention to what really is going on, and to stop allowing fear that has no reason to control your every thought. Choose instead to dwell on what you know is good and peaceful. How the sunlight feels on your back. How a feather feels on your cheek, etc. Think on what is good and peaceful, and dwell on those things. It takes practice to change how we think, but we can practice. Nothing outside of us can control what we think. That is up to us.

    Practice feeling peace and you can and will get used to it.
    You cannot dwell on your fears and what is wonderful at the same time. Seek out the wonderful things and make yourself dwell on those.

    Life has enough very real hardship and sorrow.
    We don't have to dwell on it.
    ~ YaYa ~

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