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Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Message Board

Husband with OCD Family Needs Advice

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Old 06-21-2004, 06:31 PM   #1
Join Date: May 2004
Location: New York State
Posts: 410
daystar91 HB User
Husband with OCD Family Needs Advice

My husband was diagnosed with OCD last year....He has been taking Zoloft ever since then and the doctor has up the meds once to a 100mg...I really don't think the meds are working but he acts like he's getting better to everyone else.... This is actually becoming a problem in our family, he is in such a rountine, where he has the day plannned out that there is no family time....Just work, work, work....He buys motorcycles, cars, trucks, and his newest project four wheeler....I don't care what he buys or works on but once he starts a project that's all he can do for the next couple of months...Then he sells it and finds something else to work on....Is there any way to break this cycle???
We only found out that he had OCD is because as a family we started to go to a psychotherapist....As our session went on he notice that my husband had signs of OCD....This is how bad it is for example he works alot so i decided to help him by cutting the grass well when he got home he was upset with me....I guess i put lines all over the grasss and he does it on a angle....Then there was another time our family was invited to a picnic, so i made him go....The whole time we were there all he talked about is getting home to fix his four wheeler...After a hour he left to go home back to working on his projects again....My friends husband says to me "man that four wheeler must really be getting to him" what do you say.... I'm trying to keep my family together but it seems like an on going battle with him, trying to make everything the way he thinks it should be....My oldest son 12 is where it has caused a big problem, my husband wants perfect grades, wants him to play harder at football, he just wants the perfect kid...My son becomes very distance from his father and then they argue....
Is there any other way to work with him to try to help him???Should i talk to his doctor about the meds, maybe they are not working anymore???I don't know what else to do.....

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Old 06-23-2004, 05:04 PM   #2
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Ca.
Posts: 23
JessiMessy HB User
Re: Husband with OCD Family Needs Advice

It sounds like he is not only doing these things because of OCD, are there other problems? I am no expert, but it sounds like he might have hidden depression, and if I am right this is a strong man who will not show weakness. This means, in order to take his mind off of his thoughts by always keeping himself busy. There are no simple solutions to this in any case, I think talking to the doctor about his meds might be a good idea. Make sure he is taking them though. If he is not spending time with you or the kids, try involving yourself in the things he is interested in, you or the kids can go out and ask him to teach you how to work on the cars and bikes, show him that you will do anything to spend time with him. But sooner or later he needs to be made aware that he has a family that needs not just his financial support but his emotional support, the kids are looking at him as an example of what a father should be, and this will show when they have their own children. Most importantly, you two are in this together, a marraige is a friendship, a bond, a support structure. You seem like a very understanding woman, and that might be just what he needs. Don't give up!

My thoughts are with you, Good luck!

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