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Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Message Board

Going crazy here! help

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Old 09-11-2004, 09:35 AM   #1
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 63
CarryOn HB User
Going crazy here! help

Okay lately I've been realizing that all my life I've had these little obsessions and compulsions that I was always frustrated about but never knew what it was. I'm really afraid to talk to anyone about this but I'd like to get some help so I can stop doing these ridiculous things!! I don't know if I'm just going crazy or if I actually have OCD... here's a list of some of the weird things I do, a few of them aren't as bad as they used to be. I was worse when I was younger but I've been developing new habits lately...

1. Washing hands constantly. I canít touch money or coins or basically anything thatís been touched by anyone else without washing my hands. If I donít have access to sanitizer or soap then I just get really nervous and donít touch anything else until I do.
2. Tapping things with my fingers in a certain way, if I mess up or am interrupted I have to start all over.
3. Must remember numbers after seeing them, such as license plates or phone numbers (this one isnít as bad anymore).
4. Checking light switches (this one isnít nearly as bad as it used to be; I used to check all the light switches in the house before I went to bed).
5. Worrying that I have leukemia, mono, or some type of sickness, and then worrying that I have hypochondria once I realize Iím afraid of symptoms and diseases.
6. Have to have people sitting on the left side of me, if theyíre on my right I get nervous and uncomfortable.
7. Volume controls on tv or radio have to end in an even number, or they can end in 5 or be 27 (have no idea why 27).
8. Must tear the first piece of toilet paper off in case itís unsanitary, and must wipe the toilet seat and check underneath the seat to make sure itís clean.
9. Canít stand certain noises, such as the water from the shower hitting the tub a certain way.
10. Before sitting down at the desk at work I must sanitize every thing if someone else has sat there.
11. When Iím reading and see something in the corner of my eye I have to read it before going back (this one isn't as bad anymore).
12. All cupboards and drawers must be closed correctly.
13. Cannot have loose papers or bags laying around room before going to bed.
14. Must check alarm clock repeatedly, even in the middle of the night Iíll check it to make sure itís correct, sometimes Iíll reset it to double check.
15. Canít have one shoe tied tighter or looser than the other.
16. Get nervous sitting next to people with lint or stray threads on their clothing. Sometimes I have to pick them off which gets really embarrassing!

Oh gosh I'm sure there's more but I never realized how many silly things I do until I sat down and made a list! I even erased one of the symptoms on here (number 17) 'cause I had to have an even numbered list! What do I need to do?? Please help

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Old 09-11-2004, 06:22 PM   #2
Senior Veteran
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Jacksonville, AL USA
Posts: 997
siren1024 HB User
Re: Going crazy here! help

Hi there. I have some of the same questions, but I can't seem to get anyone else to answer me! I've always felt like I was "wierd" or "crazy" especially as a child, even though I've always been great at hiding my wierdness from the world. Everyone thinks I'm so normal. I have a tendency to be able to control my compulsions when I'm around others. Well, good luck.
Married 09/28/2002
DS born 07/05/2003
DD born 3/24/2005

Old 09-13-2004, 08:13 AM   #3
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 8
Memories HB User
Re: Going crazy here! help

It sounds like maybe you have some tendencies, Carry On, but that you do a pretty good job of keeping yourself going forward and of not letting the obessions dominate you.

Old 09-13-2004, 01:20 PM   #4
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Aurora, CO
Posts: 256
bm28 HB User
Re: Going crazy here! help

CarryOn, i just read your post and it sounds to me like you do have OCD tendencies as well. Remember that almost everyone does something strange that relates to OCD. I also used do almost all of what was on your list (pre. medication/therapy). The thing to keep in mind is that none of those things you are doing cause you physical harm. It's what's MAKING YOU do them that's bothersome. It's the unwanted thoughts that usually make people with OCD do "funny" things. Mine revolved mostly around death thoughts. Good luck and let me know if you have any questions. Beth

Old 09-15-2004, 01:14 AM   #5
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 45
lifter123 HB User
Re: Going crazy here! help

HEY! Listen up because i am going to tell you exactly what you need to do. Read this carefully as it may save your life!!! You need to post number 17! This all has to stop right now or it will continue to get worse...believe me i know....when i was 15 i probably had it at my worst. I had it bad from 14-17. I would get maybe 3 hours of sleep because i would be preforming stupid ritual stuff...i had a thing for the number 7(i thank God my number wasnt 99). I would have to touch things a certain way 7 times...of course if i messed up i would have to do it again 7 times....often i would multiply the times i would have to do it by 7....meaning 49 times. I would wear my foot raw dragging it from a certain part of the carpet from the bathroom to my room. I would slide my fingers along the bottom railing of my bed in 7 sets of 7 and often times they would be worn down to nearly blistering and bleeding. I would dig the corners of things into my nails just to attain a certain feeling that i had to have. I would check the oven so many times and wake up scared to death that the oven was on. Riding my bike to school i would be late because i didnt ride over a rock a certain way and i had to go back. If i touched something with my left hand i would have to touch it with my right hand the exact same way with my right hand 7 times. I would open and shut door so many times and i would annoy my family members to death...light switches dont even mention them...i would turn them on off on off on off.... I would make strange noises similar to clearing my throat several times in order to attain a certain pitch or sound. I could hardly function in school...if i didnt make a letter perfect i would have to erase it and write it erase it and write it 7X. I had the extreme fear that i would get diabetis from eating certain foods high in sugar. I would eat things like candy...chew them and spit them out. This still somewhat affects me today but i dont generally spit them out or gag up pieces....i just eat less. I could go on and on. But i will make my point...YOU NEED TO STOP! that is the may think that you cannot stop but that is not true....what will happen if you don't wipe off the toilet seat, if you dont check under it, if you leave the light on, if you state your problem #17? I will tell you "nothing will will not die, you will not get a disease, you will not get some sickness...however YOU WILL OVERCOME YOUR PROBLEM" i used to tell myself that i would die if i didnt do something exactly right 7 times...for me it got so bad i got to the point where i said i didnt care...i could not live like that anyway. I stopped doing those things and i realized that i did not was so aggrivating and agonizing not doing certain things but you will feel so much better once you break the habbits. Trust me! Post if you need advice or more help...i would be more then glad to help.

Old 09-15-2004, 04:53 AM   #6
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 63
CarryOn HB User
Re: Going crazy here! help

Wow, you're good!! I so needed to hear something besides, "yeah you need to get help and get some meds"... okay so today, I'll start little by little... today I won't lift the toilet seat! Sounds retarded but that's one of my worst ones and I get so frustrated. Also...
17. repeatedly checks if calculator is cleared before typing next problem
hehehe, I did it! Thanks so much Lifter! I'll keep ya posted on how things go

Old 09-15-2004, 09:41 AM   #7
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 45
lifter123 HB User
Re: Going crazy here! help

carryon way to go! you posted #17. how was it what did you think when posting it? I cant say it probably wasnt that bad because im sure it was. The point is that you were able to do it and you did it...some of us will not do it because we refuse to get a grip on our minds and the control that it has over us. Believe me it is possible to overcome OCD. You have to have the right approach...see the mind is very powerful, more powerful than anyone could ever imagine. It can cause you to do crazy things if you let it trick you. I always felt like it was two parts of my brain arguing with eachother...saying "youre going to get diabetis and die if you dont do this 7 times (i thought that sometimes by dragging my bare foot accoss the carpet as hard as i could it would cause me to exert more energy thus burning the sugars in my body so they wouldnt settle and give me diabetis)" the other side was saying "this just isnt your foot a extremely bad rug burn wont do anything besides give you a lot more pain. You have to fight it...i know it hurts and it feels like it is tearing you apart, but it is possible. You have to want to get over it with everything you have. It all about mind me! Carryone keep posting with your progress and even setbacks. good can do it

Last edited by Administrator; 09-17-2004 at 03:26 PM. Reason: Don't tell others what to post

Old 09-15-2004, 10:33 AM   #8
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 63
CarryOn HB User
Re: Going crazy here! help

I'm sorta on both sides of the situation... I agree with lifter that people can overcome OCD without meds, and there's probably lots of people who are on meds who don't need to be. But I also agree with bm28 that there are some people who just cannot overcome it without the medications, there are some people who actually have a chemical imbalance that is impossible to get over without help.
Posting #17 wasn't as bad as I thought... I did lift the toilet seat today though without even thinking about my actions, I'll try next time... Lifter I appreciate your enthusiasm and belief that OCD can be overcome I definitely think that I'll be able to eventually stop all my silly habits, and if I end up having to go on meds some day, if that's what really makes me feel better and not so frustrated with things, then maybe I will. But for now I'm gonna give it a go and attack my ridiculous fears! thanks guys

Old 11-28-2004, 03:28 PM   #9
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 5
Re: Going crazy here! help

Hey when I was a kid I would have to poor water on the rug under a light switch because the spark from the switch may hav jumped out and catch the rug on fire. Couldn;t sleep in a room where a gun was stored fearing I would get up in sleepwalk and kill myself, My cousin had a rattlesnake skin hanging on his walll and I was convinced that it would come back to life after I went to sleep.

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