It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Message Board

  • Worried About My Future!



  • Post New Thread   Closed Thread
    Thread Tools Search this Thread
    Old 07-23-2005, 07:06 PM   #1
    AngelOfLight82
    Senior Member
    (female)
     
    AngelOfLight82's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jun 2005
    Posts: 126
    AngelOfLight82 HB User
    Worried About My Future!

    I worry all the time about my future. I want to be very sucsessful. My husband and I have a small business that we recently started expanding. I want to make it to the top. I have really high hopes for myself. I am also very hard on myself. I worry that my OCD and Depression will one day ruin everything I have worked so hard for. There are times when I feel like letting go and fall into a deep depression. I try to be optimistic and I think about my family, especially my two children. I try talking to people about how I feel and hope that maybe they will give some really good advice to help me cope with my problems. It really scares me to even think about it. In the past my OCD and Depression took over and I lost my job and my credit. I have to live with that memory for the rest of my life. I don't want to travel down that lonely road again. I battle my demons everyday. I hate it so much. There are days when I would give anything to be normal. Then again...What is normal??? I've heard people say it's harder to be weak than it is to be strong. For someone like me, it's very easy to be weak and live in darkness. I often wonder if there is a future. I try my best to live one day at a time and to live in the moment. I also try to tell myself often that "life is what you make it", mind over matter, that sort of thing. I guess my best bet is not to think so much.

    What do you think? Is this a crazy way of thinking?

    You may be wondering why I call myself AngelOfLight82----Well that is what my first and middle name mean. I hope it means something.
    Maybe HOPE!!!

     
    Sponsors Lightbulb
       
    Old 07-23-2005, 08:58 PM   #2
    *Versailles*
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    *Versailles*'s Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jul 2005
    Posts: 576
    *Versailles* HB User
    Re: Worried About My Future!

    Don't worry...you're not crazy....I mean if you are, then I am too!
    But I worry about that stuff all of the time. But trully, I don't even care anymore...I've lost the will to succeed, all I really want in my life right now is balance, and happiness....I guess I've just lowered my standards. But it just sounds to me like your a perfectionist....much like I am with my art! LOL, which is a wonderful thing, as long as you don't let it go overboard.

    You have the right kind of thinking though, just live day by day and keep the hope alive in your heart, and everything will work out just fine!

    My prayers are with you!

     
    Old 07-24-2005, 09:36 AM   #3
    GatsbyLuvr1920
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    GatsbyLuvr1920's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Mar 2005
    Location: USA
    Posts: 1,871
    GatsbyLuvr1920 HB UserGatsbyLuvr1920 HB User
    Re: Worried About My Future!

    Don't worry- it's very common to be perfectionistic and afraid of the future and failure in OCD. These are two of my biggest worries, and they've increased significantly now that I'm going to begin my freshman year of college in a month. There's so much to worry about from getting good grades to understanding material to getting into med school... I think we just have to make ourselves realize that what happens, happens, and we can't change it...
    -GatsbyLuvr1920-
    __________________
    "Not everything that steps out of line, and thus 'abnormal,' must necessarily be 'inferior.'"
    -Hans Asperger

     
    Old 07-24-2005, 11:12 AM   #4
    AngelOfLight82
    Senior Member
    (female)
     
    AngelOfLight82's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jun 2005
    Posts: 126
    AngelOfLight82 HB User
    Re: Worried About My Future!

    By all means am I a perfectionist. Well, I guess having OCD we all have a form of perfectionist in us. I don't know if you have read a previous post I wrote about list makers. I am a list/note maker. That's my compulsion. It sucks at time. Other times I thank that I have this compulsion because it helps me to remember things and stay organized. I write out a to do list every day. I also write anything that may be on my mind. I keep a three ring notebook that I write these lists/notes in. I some times find myself re-wirting my notes if a few days have passed and my notebook needs to be neat. I throw away anything that is useless to me and re-write any messy lists/notes that I need. Sometimes I type them up if I want to keep the lists/notes for awhile. This process can actually take a few minutes to even hours. It's sad because it takes away from the real reason I wirte them in the first place, like my to do lists/agenda. sometimes it takes me more time to write my lists/agenda than to actually do it. My husband picks on me alot. I have also found myself being a procrastinator at times. This doesn't help my OCD at all. I'm really not a neat freak. I was when I was first diagnosed with OCD 11 years ago at the age of 12. I had to keep every thing neat and clean. Now, if you walk into my house you would be surprised. Usually there are toys everywhere from my 2 year old. There is usually a basket full of clean clothes that needs to be folded and put up. And you will usually find a sink full of used drinking glasses in the sink (NO Dishwasher ). Although I do keep them neat and organized untill I can get to them. I find it very hard to balance my job, the business, the family (especially the kids), the house, studying, and exercising (which is something I need to do more of ).

    So you see I'm really not at all a perfectionist. I do however have some traits due to my OCD. I would never be called a neat freak. That name died about 8 years ago or so. Thanks for letting me run on about myself.

     
    Old 07-24-2005, 03:15 PM   #5
    GatsbyLuvr1920
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    GatsbyLuvr1920's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Mar 2005
    Location: USA
    Posts: 1,871
    GatsbyLuvr1920 HB UserGatsbyLuvr1920 HB User
    Re: Worried About My Future!

    OMG! You sound just like me! I'm such a procrastinator, too, and even though I do like things neat and orderly, you'd never know it! I delay cleaning my room because it's such a chore for me, and makes me nervous, but then again, what doesn't make me nervous? LOL! Like today for instance, I have to write Thank You cards from graduation, and the thought of doing it for some unknown reason makes me have panic attacks, so I simply avoid it and put it off as long as I can. My therapist agrees that the procrastination is obsessive deliberation and, obviously, compulsive avoidance. I wait until the last minute to do things like write essays for school because I know that, down to the wire, I must get it done, or I'd be worrying and feel guilty because I didn't complete it. But, I've always been slow in doing stuff, even the simplest of tasks. It's taken me, no lie, about two weeks to get my stuff ready for college, and I'm STILL not done! I sort and re-sort, categorize and re-categorize, prioritize and re-prioritize, etc. I have an obsesion about forgetting something that I'll need so I take such care in picking CD's and DVD's and clothes and everything else that I'll need to take with me, but then I worry if I'm taking too much and I won't have enough room in my dorm to put it all, so I eliminate some, but then I'll worry that I might need one of the things I've just eliminated, and the cycle continues... I like to be clean and on time, too, but it's as if everything that I do takes such effort because it just makes me sooo nervous. If you ever want to talk about OCD-related procrastination, I'm here! Good luck and God bless!
    -GatsbyLuvr1920-
    __________________
    "Not everything that steps out of line, and thus 'abnormal,' must necessarily be 'inferior.'"
    -Hans Asperger

     
    Closed Thread

    Related Topics
    Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
    Asthma getting worse and worried.. finalfantasia Asthma 4 04-21-2010 11:50 AM




    Thread Tools Search this Thread
    Search this Thread:

    Advanced Search

    Posting Rules
    You may not post new threads
    You may not post replies
    You may not post attachments
    You may not edit your posts

    BB code is On
    Smilies are On
    [IMG] code is Off
    HTML code is Off
    Trackbacks are Off
    Pingbacks are Off
    Refbacks are Off




    Sign Up Today!

    Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

    I want my free account

    All times are GMT -7. The time now is 08:31 AM.





    © 2020 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
    Do not copy or redistribute in any form!