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  • I'm so sick of OCD!

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    Old 06-28-2007, 04:45 PM   #1
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    I'm so sick of OCD!

    I've had OCD my entire life, and it's always limited the way I live. I've always been afraid to break out of my daily routine, therefore missing out on a lot of opportunities. I hate missing out on some great things in life, but my OCD won't let me break out of my routine!

    I know that might sound ridiculous to anybody who has never suffered from OCD, but it's literally controlling my life. I'm so sick of it, but have no idea how to change it. It's not like I can just wake up one day and say "Hey, I'm not going to follow my routine! Let's just take the day as it comes!" I can't do that! I have to plan out everything and have specific times for everything I do.

    I rarely ever go out with friends, because it interferes with my routine. I have to go to bed and wake up at certain times each day, and perform the same activities at the same times each day.

    The thing is, I just got a new job. I start tomorrow and I am incredibly stressed. I have been crying a lot today because of how stressed I am, and basically feel sick just thinking about not being able to have my specific routine tomorrow.
    I wrote out specific hours I can work to my new boss, but I'm so afraid she'll say "No, these hours don't work for us! Sorry, you can't have the job" or something. I know it's ridiculous to try to get people to accomodate to how I want to live my life(like setting out certain hours I can work), but that's just one of the examples of how OCD is controlling me. I wish I could just be like "normal" people-get up, work normal hours at a job and not worry about having a routine. Unfortunately it doesn't work like that.

    I've had OCD all my life and I'm sick of it. I was sort of considering starting some medication, but I'm afraid. I'm afraid of side effects like weight gain(I used to have an eating disorder). What are your experiences with medications for OCD? Do they help take away the controlling thoughts? Are you able to live more freely and not feel as tied down?

    Any replies would be appreciated. I'm just fed up and feel so alone, because nobody else I know has to live like this.

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    Old 06-28-2007, 07:56 PM   #2
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    Re: I'm so sick of OCD!


    I also have big-time ED. I've taken Prozac and Luvox with absolutely no weight gain (I need to gain and am working on it, but can't tolerate it being forced on me by a med).
    Meds can help a whole lot, as can therapy. Takes time and work, but as you point out, you're miserable the way you are.
    Also, beginning a job is terribly stressful for anyone, much less people like us with our rigid schedules. I am working on changing my eating w/therapist (it's compulsive, what else?) and it is getting easier each time. It does get easier. I find it helps if I prepare myself ahead of time, telling myself - Look, this will be uncomfortable, feel impossible...but I will try and know that it will become easier.
    Under the stress of a new job alone, you have your hands full. Do you have professional help?

    Wish I could say something that would help. You are not alone.
    Good luck.

    Old 06-28-2007, 08:28 PM   #3
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    Re: I'm so sick of OCD!

    Thank you so much for your reply. Even to know somebody out there can relate and understand how I feel really helps.

    No, I don't currently have professional help(I have in the past though). I just broke down today and told my mom that I need to see another therapist. I told her I'm sick of living like this and I want to change. Unfortunately I have to be put on a waiting list, so I won't actually get to SEE the therapist for at least 2 months..but at least it's a start.

    Starting a new job is stressful for anybody-but you're right; for people with OCD, it's pretty much a nightmare. But I know I need to face my fear in order to overcome it and see that everything will be okay...I just hate taking that first step.

    Old 06-28-2007, 09:14 PM   #4
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    Re: I'm so sick of OCD!

    Being sick of the OCD and wanting to change is a huge step. I hope that step takes you to a place where you can take another step and another.

    I agree that a new job is stressful for anyone, and that it is pretty high up on the list of causes of stress. But there's also usually a "honeymoon" period with new jobs where the newness of the routines can feel like a vacation from our regular old rituals. Hopefully this will happen for you.

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