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    Old 07-19-2007, 05:52 PM   #1
    Junior77
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    Can't stop obsessing about these words

    Let me start off by saying that this might be a strong post for those are not strong enough mentally. If you are not, I warn you not to keep reading.

    Hi, I've been suffering for the past month with this now. I can't stop obsessing about these two words in my head. Those words are "I wish." I can't stop repeating them inside my head and then when I say those words I finish them off myself by saying really what I wish for. But the bad thing about that is, is that I also have schizophrenia. So I can hear myself wishing for bad things after I say the words "I wish." I'm really paranoid that all these wishes are going to come true. I'm scared, frightened, and confused. I don't what to do. I can't watch t.v. because I'm always repeating these words in my head and I think I'm going to turn into what I just saw on t.v. I can't surf these boards because every time I see a username something pops up in my head(feeling, thought, voice, or me, not sure what it is) saying "I wish I was this person." I'm not calling you all bad here I'm just saying that my paranoid schizophrenia kicks in and makes me think that everyone is bad because I don't know them personally.

    My doctor did prescribe me 20mg of lexapro everyday. I've been on it for almost a month now but it doesn't feel like it's helping. Can someone give me advice on what to do? Thanks.

     
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    Old 07-19-2007, 07:49 PM   #2
    seaturtle
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    Re: Can't stop obsessing about these words

    Hello,

    Gosh, I'm sorry you're so troubled. I'm no doctor, but the people with schizophrenia I've known have been on a lot more meds than just lexapro. Have you been seeing this doctor for a long time?
    And do you have a therapist?

    From what you say here, you're really suffering. I think you need a lot of professional help and the right medications.

    Please take care and get help, and keep posting. Welcome.

     
    Old 07-20-2007, 11:08 AM   #3
    Junior77
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    Re: Can't stop obsessing about these words

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by seaturtle View Post
    Hello,

    Gosh, I'm sorry you're so troubled. I'm no doctor, but the people with schizophrenia I've known have been on a lot more meds than just lexapro. Have you been seeing this doctor for a long time?
    And do you have a therapist?

    From what you say here, you're really suffering. I think you need a lot of professional help and the right medications.

    Please take care and get help, and keep posting. Welcome.
    Thanks for replying. Ya I've been seeing this doctor for about a year now I think it is. I have a therapist but I'm just not comfortable with the way he talks to me. I dunno I'll see if I can get my counselor changed now that I write about it, thanks a lot .

     
    Old 07-21-2007, 09:29 PM   #4
    seriousperson
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    Re: Can't stop obsessing about these words

    I'm on several medications, including lexapro, but the one that helps the most is risperdal (also known as risperidone). In small doses it's used for OCD, in larger doses it's used for schizophrenia. Maybe you can ask your psychiatrist about it.

    Last edited by seriousperson; 07-21-2007 at 09:32 PM.

     
    Old 07-22-2007, 03:53 AM   #5
    Kathrin74
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    Re: Can't stop obsessing about these words

    Hey there,

    I had an obsession once after reading something in a book on magic (so-called white-magic, but of course my OCD brain focussed on all the way something might go wrong). There was a certain expression that it said at the end of wishes, and while I was walking back from the library I kept having that in my head, coming up with all kinds of bad things I would never really wish for and then "hear" that expression.
    You know what helped me then? I added another expression that the book mentioned, something to UNDO it again. So whenever that "scary" expression came into my head I quickly "said" the other one too and that made me feel light and free.
    Fortunately that was a short obsession, because otherwise of course having to mention the undo-expression itself might have become a compulsion.

    I mentioned this anyway because the point is: If it is YOU who are saying "I wish", of course YOU can say "No I don't wish this". It's not like if you wish for something once you can never wish for something different again, right?

    Even more important than this, though: That spell I had with magical thinking was REALLY REALLY bad (as I said, that one episode remained short, but it was part of a bigger thing). I spent so much time in such extreme fear, thinking I might cause things to happen etc... I don't even want to think about it now, makes me go "uuughhhh"!!!
    I think that whole magical thinking if taken so far can be really really unhealthy. Now what really helps me is that I believe in God and that He, in His amazing, wonderful love, would not want for us to suffer like that. And His world, I believe, doesn't work like that. Doesn't work in OCD magical thinking ways. It is much more fluctuous, much more.... open, changing, always... and there is much more love in everything.
    When you have an OCD thought, think of God or Jesus hugging you and saying, "hey, it's all right, I love you, don't worry about it".
    :-)

    Kathrin

     
    Old 07-23-2007, 01:10 AM   #6
    Junior77
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    Re: Can't stop obsessing about these words

    . Thanks that does make me feel better.

    Me and my counselor had a great discussion about this after posting this. I found out that some part of my brain thinks it has magical powers and that I can change somebody... but that's just not true.

    I believe that once you get obsessed with things like these you get into the habit of doing these things. And that habit is sure as heck going to be hard to break if you don't do it early with or with medication.

     
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