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  • im an ocd sufferer since 9yrs old, im 38 now...and I can help YOU

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    Old 08-27-2007, 03:18 PM   #1
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    im an ocd sufferer since 9yrs old, im 38 now...and I can help YOU

    Look, Im not a shrink but I have had my share of them even at 10 and They couldnt even tell I had a medical disorder. Even at 19, saw a shrink, (sexologist but at least she was available, yeah still cost me 50$ a session) and she called my rituals I was describing, stupid bloody "magic thoughts" of all darned things. At 20 visiting a psychiatric department of my city's general hospital I got hospitalized alright, and stayed a month and 6 days, (yeah I counted, I mean who wants to stay in a boring psych ward...yes I do mean boring....thats what makes a hospital a hospital, it's the boringest place you want to be in, and it's no wonder we are called patients.....patient??? no, how about "the seriously endurant of holding tempers"....Here's why.

    Since I was 9, I was an ocd sufferer right? well, take my word for it anyway. So like my parents get blamed by the children's hospital that they were abusing me, but never thought I could be suffering a medical anxiety disorder (clinical worry rituals problem).......Thats what it is after all.

    So then, yeah, Im considered a problem (special needs student especially in highschool, I had the principal for us "special" students....(and HE smokes in his office, and does a little doobie on the side too, ummm who's the problem again???? yeah, search anyones locker and I hope the student tells the cops to search his car (or so Ive heard, he shared the hash with the student when she found it, probably so if he got blamed she'd be just as guilty...(ego maniacal coward of a power tripper and seeker).........and by the way cops visit his office to smell the dead give away of tar and nicoteine)...meanwhile just to be safe check his eyes to see if they are red while youre at it. Oh and maybe there might be some visine in his drawer too. kudos sir vp??? gotta wonder. no integrity.

    anyway, so like I went ahead too though at that time and saw a councelor as offered by said, dork vp for a year....didnt touch ocd, frankly I thought I was normal.....but she also would avoid getting involved with my problem with my dad, for being a major impatient problem verbally abusive umm person.

    So I get to feel a little better about myself....but I get the dorky idea to go ahead and smoke hash to confront what I thought was a real "fear of drugs and its effects and stuff"......little did I know I was trying to confront OCD of all things...needless to say it bit me back hard. and I mean OUCH. I snapped even worse.....I'll tell you what I ended up being diagnosed with at age 20 after.

    Meanwhile, for trying to nail what this freaking thing that was getting in the way now with me, for getting a taste of self-esteem for 17yrs I was seriously zonked in obsession Zone number 1, what the heck is making me this way???? (worry).....this time seeing the same councelor after the year alone when I took the hash but now instead of 1 time a week it was twice a week. Seriously dependant on her now. She mentioned "obsession" to me, but I didnt understand that when it came to my "fear of drugs".....why? because of that lame *** perfume commercial for women, which I thought obsession ment "wanting something very much"....D'UH

    The next year 18yrs old, I see her co-worker for help.....took control of the whole year of therapy from her.......but I was on the right path, I descovered what ocd was from a magazine article of my sisters magazine, and it nailed me big time just for the little it said.

    to make a long story short, I blamed the first councelor for the whole deal I was going to through to get anything ocd dealt with because she started the ball rolling by giving me any sense of self-esteem that I liked.....and just wanted to go back to start, and forget the whole crappy situation I was in.

    Meanwhile, I went to a psychologist, cause I was hoping really to be deprogrammed.....but she said it would wear off........but you know how it is as an ocd'er its gotta be "undone" the same way it was "done" in the first a ritual of course......I tell her about ocd, but she calls it a "magic thought"....ahumm humm yeah, and a sex problem for her must mean that you dont know where babies come from. I end up the city's general hospital, admitted and evaluated...and while being in there, I talk to a nurse and mentioned my rituals again, and she dissmisses them as NOT ocd. hehehehe I gotta love that by now....anyway....

    so I find out Im schizophrenic (I still gotta wonder cause ocd can be misdiagnosed as a psychosis and ocd can get narly bizzarre on rare occasions anyway) anyway, "that book Brain-Lock's author wasnt kidding when he said psychiatrists are arrogant and ignorant...and I can quote that, and the author is a psychiatrist himself. so one to know the type of doctors he has to co-work with...poor guy I prayer is out there for you dude.

    meanwhile I spend 2 years just thinking that I was wrong about ocd but beleived there for a while that I was psychotic. I had my ups and downs at that point.....for awhile Id manage, and then get down....I was blaming the bloddy haldol for being a miserable tough drug. But I was still content on my ocd still being around...I thought I actually achieved what I had wanted....course I took the haldol as the ritual I needed when ever I felt that "funny way".........after those 2 years, bang it happened. I get a really intense bad obsession again, too familiar with the same thing I was diagnosed as schizo its suspected by my doc that I have ocd. Then I got him thinking.....if I was ocd'ed since I was 9 first, wouldnt it make better sense that Im only ocd'ed and not schizo like you thought, about the same familiar thing you had me for. made him think.....hehehhe and he should be able to think for a shrink no? Meanwhile the haldol didnt do crap for this new I had to wonder myself.....

    meanwhile he gives me LUVOX but the dork just had to tell me that it might make my schizophrenia worse...I took it once, then stopped, and of course my rituals after that went bullistic.....non-stop, hours on end no break just constant non-stop interrupting my peace and calm, turning me into a nervous mess. Then I lose my mom, my sercurity blanket for cancer...that was tough I have to add. the anxiety from losing her was doubling my ocd anxiety even worse from the real stress of losing only advocat in that family......

    meanwhile.....till I was 31, no help for ocd, still schizo as far as any doc thought, I dumped the doctors all together, till at 32 I had to move out cause my dad would leave me alone, accusing my character of bad, getting after me, driving me nuttyer than I already was so I move out....and thats when "pardon the expressing" the crap hit the fan and had to be ambulanced to the hospital.

    Okay to make a long story short now, from 32 to now at 38 im now know to be schizo-affective (schizophrenic and manic-depressive but also obsessive compulsive)....and now Im on seroquel 200mgs 20mgs paxil (my other doc gave me celexa I dont know why even at max its still given to the elderly for late onset depression not for ocd that paxil is designed for)....DUH doctors right? take my word for it....arrogance aint the about, I dont listen to my patients, I listen to me, and then talk to everyone else but my patients because how could they possibly know what they are feeling? make sense....????? seems to me they think we lie maybe? I dont get that myself.....but Im not a fool you know????? take my word for that one too.

    Anyway, its just been recently that I got the final permanent 200mgs Seroquel (which puts you damn well to sleep like an anesthetic ****, does better than Nytol).....whoowheee man you want sleep go take a seroquel at just 50mgs and you'll see what I mean. and now I got the 20mgs paxil, and I got to refine the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy big time and a psychology to help me deal with things in life better psychologically too, and can even "reframe" any limiting beliefs too....on my quest for self-help.

    And I got a great social skill that is multipurposed believe it or not....

    and I am going to lay everything on the line for all of make your ocd'ed lives way way way easy on you..... meanwhile please note....Im writing a little ???? big literary resource of my entire experience with the whole system, plus what are myths of mental illnesses, and what you can not do, and what you actually can.......and a little more but I will leave that for best for last. see my next post here.

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    Old 08-27-2007, 04:22 PM   #2
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    Re: im an ocd sufferer since 9yrs old, im 38 now...and I can help YOU

    now Im going to start with the meds, and why they are given.....Meds is short for medicine...meaning this is not a psychological problem.....its a physical problem of your brain....ergo, mutation of serotonin, or anything else that could cause you to go to the hospital's bat wing batman........

    So therefore consider that your BRAIN as the major organ in your body, is physically ill....hence the medicine or medication, or (meds) for short. And no the meds are not like anti-biotics.....feeling good means they are working, not that you are cured. got me? capich? so dont be stupid and stop taking them....that would be crazy im my opinion....also taking any kind of drugs to self-medicate even using alcohol is crazyer...cause not only are you countering your medication, but you can cause some serious big time medical problems that you dont and cant afford to have dig?????

    Okay, if you go out there, and smoke pot, or do whatever other drug you have found to "help???" or drink alcohol abusively, you are in my book of people who should not have been let out but only on supervizion when you do. Cause you are what I call true nuts, close to vegetables in my value.
    I mean cmon people, frig? use some common sense no? what do you think we are on the meds for, cause our brains are already messed up, why go take drugs to encourage it???? and alcohol with medicine = bad deal..not good...I hope I dont have to add a reader rabbit to this statement so you can learn that one well.

    for those of you who do have brains even when they are emballanced, good job....keep it....

    Meanwhile here is the cbt.

    Step 1: Relable
    Ocd is an emballence of your BRAIN's chemical called serotonin.....there is a shortage of it....causing repeating intrusive thoughts to stress you with anxiety, and yet compel you to worry urgently...for fear that the thoughts will be realized so you aim for rituals to sercure yourselves....

    Step 2: Re-attribute
    Accept the stress of this loss that ocd causes you unecessarily, of anxiety...and insecurity......the way it is, without any double standards.....all the time.....

    Step 3: Refocus:
    Treat the ocd stress the way YOU'D like to be treated, every time, (and not worry compulsively....this is not the way to do it) worry is unhealthy behavior about any loss you will experience in life, because when you do, it doubles the anxiety over and over and over again.....think of getting hit in shoulder repeatedly, IN THE SAME SPOT too....get the picture...this is what worry and needyness does for anxiety, and insecurity.

    Step 4: Revalue
    You will learn that the intruding ocd thoughts that give you the anxiety are complete in garbage, brain hiccups from your neurological Brain's missfirings from a screwed up chemical make upof serotonin.

    Note from experience: This cbt is used to re-enforce your meds as a coping strategy......but works terrifically......HOWEVER, if you realize that after paying close attention to your brain and how the thoughts appear, dont be fooled by them anymore stick to the CBT all the time....and dont drop it for a second....that is law for you okay? you'll have your doubts, but its still ocd, no matter what it can try and fool you to think. Dont trust ocd, it does not change its spots just like the leopard. Dont give it a chance cause you'll feel like an idiot sucker by a conartist called ocd.

    Remember, accept these intruding thougts as they are, and treat them when they come the way YOU'D like to be treated. You will learn that confidence comes from this.....

    and when you are noticing whats going on.....please be advised for my sake....if you dare open the front door as normal when you go out....dont let this surprise you, but you will crap your pants....cause the world has changed on you now, and you'll find every reason why the outside is the scareyest s.o.b. there ever was......for every possible reason you could have an intrusive thought than the security of your own advice dont run under the covers and hide from wont get better that way...

    What I did, was stood at my open door, looked outside, scanned everything, and got comfortable with it and got used to the cbt, until I could relax, and charged like a knight out to battle, and faced it....and just walk, just walk and keep walking and study whats going on in your brain......and believe you me, YOU ARE BRAVE PEOPLE, and dont let anyone ever call YOU a coward EVER, cause that would be a damned lie.

    Not only that, but have proven to be tougher than a professional weight lifting body builder, wrestler, and rambo, and Conan the destroyer.....for having to have to deal with ocd at all.....especially when it wasnt even treated, and even with out this CBT. (cognitive behavioral therapy).

    Congrats this far....and Im with you 100% (do this.....and stick to it...decide you are going to do this and are going to accomplish this pulling out all stops)
    Remember, un-defeatists know that winners never quit, and quitters never win. And if you think people are staring at you because you look strange...remember this to yourself....."and they would look like the queen/king of england than you for this????? yeah hehehehe tell me a fantazy story and Id sooner believe the story than that. If they were in your situation they wouldnt even give you a funny look but encourage you as much as I am now, and will continue to if I ever meet you in public.........And they would have a tremendous amount of respect for you, and they'd know you to be as tough as nails and as brave as hercules for it. They'd sooner see you battling out the predator than arnold...who I would call a wimp at this point. So dont let anyone ever put you down guys and gals.......they have NO NO! as in N. O. Idea what this is about.

    And dont let some double standard a s s h o l e judge you like a hypocrite for it, mouthing off some stupid advice for knowing ***** ****** all about it. I had one guy tell me, just change the way you think....these kinds of people, are idiots...okay???? They are the ones that cause the stigmas and are so bloody ignorant that they have no business saying anything. Like I bet their education is grade 4 max. And I bet you again, they dont research anything but are happy in thier blissful ignorant wastes of lives, and if it happens to be your parents, dont listen to them, they cant help you and are most likely just going to leave it up to you to deal with anyways without any support. ocd is supposed to effect the family as a responsibility, but they dont usually do that. So, go out, and help yourself, and use the doctor's, and the services out there, and all the other resources that you can use to benefit from to help yourself, and do your homework about this....I mean find all kinds of self-help resources literary or not.......cause you cant always depend even on the help to help you, and psychologists cost MONEY!!!!!!!!!!$$$$$$$$$$$ I live in canada, quebec to be exact...our health care is being run into the ground, and yet its free......but psychological therapy is not, unless there is some service out there to provide therapy for free....dont blow that one...youre blessed to get it if you do....and soak it for all it's worth...get what you can, what ever you can out of it........but just dont get dependant on the have to learn that this is your own life, and they are there everyone is there to help YOU HELP YOURSELF.........they are not going to appreciate having to wipe your psychological bum after that. (more to come)....

    Old 08-27-2007, 05:39 PM   #3
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    Re: im an ocd sufferer since 9yrs old, im 38 now...and I can help YOU

    Now here comes the psychology you can use to help you deal in life way way better, and get your problems solved, stresses, even anything you happen to suffer with for real, ie bad relationship, bad job, pain in the *** boss, etc etc....worry, depression IF it's clinical then it's just to cope, but if youre going to worry or be insecure and act needy for it, or be angry, or sad, or depressed normally, this is the way to deal with things in life successfully. PLEASE NOTE WELL: This psychology does not a psychologist make YOU. If you really are incapable of handling a tough p r i c k of a problem go see a real trained psychologist to help you and support you. Everyone can take a psychological Head ache pill, but you dont want to pull out a psychological bad tooth on your dig? Who would???? that would be really striking a nerve you dont want to touch, with out some kind of feel me?

    now here is the psychology: to sum up what it's supposed to help you do is like this: You will be able to wisely deal with things in life, and if you encounter a problem/stress/suffering (BAD DEAL), whether you made a bad choice, or if it just fell into your lap with out wanting will be able to intelligently learn from it, to wisely improve your choice in dealing with that stresser better for your self-esteem.

    It starts with your preferences for how you deal with your internal resources with things in life. Your internal resources are like a currency, they are spent....

    they come as follows: a balance as best you can:
    ethical conscience and intuition = wisdom to make your choices/decisons for the deals you prefer. It costs you your FREEDOM to make these choices....

    Knowledge and experience = creative intelligence/smarts/genius/brains etc what ever you want to call being a brilliant bugger. and this gets you to make your brilliant ideas. This costs you your TIME.

    Needs met and confidence = happyness to have your self-esteem. This costs LOVE.

    However, a stress can do alot to that happy self-esteem and stress comes in 2 forms...remember what I said about anxiety being a loss? thats one....

    Hurt is a stress, and will cause you either to respond in anger or sadness....or worse depression......You do not want to respond agressively, passively, or passive-aggressively with your anger, and hopefully not depressive with your sadness either....just think of the worse case scenario of anger to be expressed....agressively outward, passively inward, or passive-agressively neutral. These are not the healthy ways to deal with anger, you will not get your needs met this way......taking your anger "out"wardly like that isnt cool, and taking your anger so "in"wardly is not good either...and taking your anger neutrally as though its like "okay, if thats what you want, fine but dont blame me if etc etc....." thats annoying by the way when people do that. And depression is never having got to express how you felt at all when you were hurt so sadly. they are all bad ways to deal with the stress of hurt. And it's definitely bad strategy to seek revenge as a way to satisfy your is an attempt to win, and the source to lose, but like in the middle east bombings, they havent learned that....with that kind of'll both never win, cause you'll both want to win and the other lose every hurt me, I hurt you, then you hurt me again, then I hurt you, and it escalates and escalates....and never resolves the problem. How many times do you think it will take them in the middle east to figure that one out? Actually they just aint wise people...but very foolish though.

    Meanwhile the second source that stress comes in as like I said, LOSS....and when you lose something it will cause insecurity/or anxiety but in this case its real souces, just like the depression I told you about....these sources have to come from a real source, not a sickness of your brain to cause you painfully abnormal intense negative emotions....then what you are experience is called a psychological problem not a brain problem and medicine wont help in fact this is your responsibility yourself to deal medication or running from your problem will help.

    To deal with this stress (loss) the same thing that you can not do for ocd. You can not worry, or act needy about these things....remember about the punching in the shoulder over and over again in the same spot....same thing here.....bad deal for you big time.....

    remember a psychological stress is a real stress, not a sickness stress that is brain created.....this is a real emotional reaction for a real cause, not a result of a sick brain...its a natural reaction. And if you let a real psychological stress go undealt with, it can aggrivate your already sensitve brain and you could relapse from it. Thats why we were taught ways to relax, and had group therapy..........

    okay now
    remember what I told you to do as a CBT to cope with your OCD...well guess works when it comes to real stress (both kinds) quite effectively..... accept these sources of psychological stress as the way they are, and STILL treat them the way you'd like to be treated (in return if you missed that point).....see no none double standards okay....
    And you will get your needs met from the hurt, and your confidence from the loss, and you'll be happy again, cause you will feel good self-esteem wise....

    now.....finally when it comes to all the FREEDOM, TIME, and LOVE you have to prefer to deal with as preferences for them, with things in life for yourself, remember, when you have A. an idea B. To choose/decide C. To do what would be great for your self-esteem if ever it becomes (a BAD DEAL/ STRESS) you know how to deal with it, presently, but you have to come back to it to resolve how you are going to not get this bad deal again.....there fore you have to change your preferences.....

    So like I spelled it out for you at the beginning, you have to be wise about how you deal with your F,T,L to get your self-esteem or anything else that will have you feel good about you have to learn from your experience, and come up with a good idea, that is a wiser choice than the last one and prefer that choice from now on for your self-esteem.

    Now im not totally certain but I think your freedom still counts for something and if you dont have the freedom to make decision, you have to find a way to solve that situation too, cause that can stress you out *** well, and your self-esteem will matter (I think this is where we would call it having limiting beliefs (which I will teach you how to change) or "Reframe". and if you dont have the time to come up with ideas, you have to solve that situation so you do have the time, or else you can be stressed from that too, and your self-esteem will suffer. I believe if your self-esteem is suffering from this problem with your time limits.....this is where you would have to learn not to try and control what you cant beyond your prefential limits....

    See finally anything you can call a personal preference for you freedom, time, or love dealings, is called a personal boundary...and therefore has it's limits....and it you cross the limits or someone crosses yours it immediately because a bad deal of stress....remember you cant control anything outside your boundary limits of personal preferences.......trying results in immediate suffering and stress....BAD DEALS ALL AROUND.

    I will give you 3 examples.....try to control your past. Try to control your future. Try even trying to control someone else in their own boundary....

    What do you think will result...go ahead try...... how would you like someone crossing your boundary because they thought they had the right....ever hear of the expression "crossing the line with someone"? That's reference to the boundary of a person. If you cross the line with anything with your own boundary, you are in big trouble just as much as anything or anyone would be for crossing the line with your boundary. Right??? Rightttttttttttttttt!

    and to reframe a limiting belief which is just a belief that is messing up your life to limit you from getting anywhere you'd like to go in life....find a new idea, thats wisely considered to be more useful to you, about the limiting one, and Be happy with it. Because (A belief is just an idea that has a convincing emotion to superglued to it). That's it.

    And hey here's something that might interest you...but if youre a germaphobe hand washer compulsive.......dont worry this isnt the kind of germ im talking about its not a life threatening thing okay?....anyway you have the cbt to know the difference now, so its not my good samaritan responsibility anymore.

    But did you ever notice how, say one friend has an expression that he/she uses alot, and somehow you liked it, and adopted it as your own.....Ive been told these kinds of things are called "mind viruses" the sense that these little expressions, or slang terms like "bling bing" and "yo yo" etc......are contagious easily picked if you think you did pick up an unhealthy expression, or slang, or some other kind of what not, that really doesnt help you get any further in life for its limiting effect on you...(you find out it has been a bad deal for yourself)....reframe that too to drop it heheheheh.
    Like learning to say f u c k. its not cool, and I learn quickly how offensive it really is.....I learned to accept it as the norm as a kid but at first it was quite shocking to hear one guy use that word every 3rd word that came out of his mouth....yuck not impressive, he appeared to be a real loser. one more to come.....this is the goody....

    Old 08-27-2007, 07:08 PM   #4
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    Re: im an ocd sufferer since 9yrs old, im 38 now...and I can help YOU

    Now who I credit as the source to how great ive recovered so far, with the effort on my part too, was because at one point I was really bad off, and you know what all us ocd sufferers are the most afraid of right....its behind every reason why we obsess....we are afraid to die.....So I chose to go Christian, and have God in my life.....and the LORD has been the anchor in my life, so that I could get this stuff accomplished....and I'll be a success'll hear about day.....Ive been through some amazing super hard struggles, and times, and picked on, and verbally abused, my father was even absent in my life he never really partook in it, and he always had a problem and he's been even more controlling and unpleasantly grouchyer than ever. He's the type to hold gruges....and I dont need to go into any more details...Im still trying to find away to bridge this gap he has built so I can reach him to decide to change...I cant make up his mind for him, he has to see it himself...remember, no one can make you anything...I hope you get that...and neigther can you make anyone anything either dont go trying to change your boyfriends, or girlfriends...cause they wont....give it up, leave the a s s h o l e or b * * ch alone, go find someone good for you. remember trying to change anyone is trying to control someone within their own boundary, and you know immediately that it's of course instant suffering, frustration, hurt, etc etc.....

    Meanwhile, I dont know how I managed out of the crap ive been through all these years and mountain peaked 6 years ago......But im telling you The LORD and GOD had alot to do with it.....and I have been really blessed even to have been called to follow the LORD at all, and be included in the Forgiven.

    But it says "God looks to and fro across the Earth to find people who's hearts are directed towards HIM, and HE will call them by name...and personally invite them into HIS family of Faithful believers in HIS only begotten SON, LORD Jesus Christ, and you are made HIS." And GOD promises that HIS plans for you are not to harm you, but to prosper you, and give you life more abundantly. and from what Ive personally experienced....HE has been said, NOT to be a liar ever, and every promise HE makes HE keeps....and HE has come through for me too. And best of all GOD has been said, NEVER to CHANGE, HE always stays the same......GOD is called the GOD of life, and is said to be LOVE itself....and HE has been said, that nothing in creation (to sum it up) can every separate us, the faithful, from HIS love. And faith, hope, but the greatest of all, LOVE, are the 3 things that will endure forever.

    I pray you choose to make the decison, for eternal life after all, and have the greatest parent of them all with you. The LORD is the only way to do it. And every other religion out there is based on prophets, wise men, or on animals and multi-armed beings....but none ever claimed to be the ONLY Begotten Son of GOD. I know some of you have a belief in GOD to be a certain way for you.....perhaps because you wouldnt be able to understand how GOD could allow trouble and stuff to happen.....well remember, this world is run by the bad guy.....we are born into this world already part of it. And we come to value this world as life itself, and it isnt! cause you cant take it with you when you die. "and what can a man gain by aquiring the whole world, yet lose his soul?"

    Remember, "broad is the way to destruction, and wide is the gate for the many who choose to go by it, but narrow is the way, and small is the gate to eternal life, and few shall find it"........There are so many ways that the "evil guy" will use to deceive people to think they have something of this world, and yet have a promised land above....and it's all meant to destroy those who listen. They only way is LORD JC HIMSELF. If you are agnostic and believe in GOD period, have you noticed how it seems to be a long distance relationship.....???? I was there.....I know what it feels like..... it's like knowing OF china, and seeing alot of chinese people here in my city and around the suburbs........but never visiting the country or even making it mine committedly first, to understand it, but have it first hand. So it's an empty feeling I have of China. You'll only know it, when you have reason to believe in it first hand. Thats what Jesus did for me anyway about GOD.

    Anyway the choice is yours.....I wasnt preaching, just telling you how it was for me.....but here's a little info that might interest you....did you know that psychiatrists have recorded findings that the mentally ill they treat seem to recover faster, and better for believing in the LORD. Some even say, that if they could rid some of thier patients of tremendous guilt they had for things they have done, they would not have them as patients anymore....but healthy individuals.

    interesting hey? but I dont advise doing it, if youre just looking to get better, but that you are actually willing to love GOD with all your heart, soul, and mind, and to love your neighbors impartially enemy or friend....they way you'd like to be loved and follow Jesus willfully and unconditionally, sincerely and genuinely meant.

    see that cbt, and way to deal with real psychological stress, is also a great social skill too. drop the double standards you have, and accept everyone the way they are....and treat them the way you'd like to be treated.....see I got this from the Bible, and I told you it has essence it means dont judge and you wont be judged, cause if youre so double standard, people will use the same standards on you that you judged them with, and treat you the same way you treated them. Its normal human nature.....and the GOLDEN RULE is after, just treat others the way you'd like to be treated....cause it is reciprocated....but sometimes there are some people who dont consider others boundarys and are selfish, and will treat you badly anyways.....(the bad deals you have to deal with the same way anyways except they learn thier lesson), so after someone has ****** you off, dont continue being angry after, cause you dont have anymore good reason to, and it will be a double standard that will want you to go out and get pay back (revenge)...and like I said, if you bomb the other, so the other loses, the other will remember, and retaliate to bomb you again. and so on and so on.....BAD psychological deal, and yeat great spiritual advice from the LORD HIMSELF in Matthew right in the beginning when Jesus has HIS first and Longest recorded sermon among the people there. Its advice from the LORD and I let you in on it how it works in so many ways......and it's meant as promised to bring peace to your life, so you can have a life more abundantly....see the Bible is Chalk full of great wise advice.....but its so much more easier to believe and apply for being Christian.....See people who dont believe but still try to be as moral (or as good as a person they can) still do something wrong and they'll try to justify it as cute, or harmless (even if its to steal a little piece of candy at a grocery store saying they wont miss it), but stealing is still stealing no matter how you may try to explain it away...and they cant help it.....thats the sinful nature to give into what they are tempted to do that has and had me separated from GOD and kept HIM at a long distance relationship with me.

    Anyway, you'll be doing whatever you "psychologically" freely choose to do out of your wisdom....however I hope you know a GOOD deal when you see one.

    take care.... GOD Bless.....this was a Christian who was helping you here all this time......and he gave back what he got.......and I hope you see the blessing in it....

    you notice I was vulgar in what I was saying...right? I used some not so nice words right? and im sitting here smoking my cigarettes....and if I could I would have one beer...not to fool around too much on the meds....and a glass of wine wouldnt change a thing....and if I wasnt so irresponsible with my cigarette smoking, a couple every so often wouldnt have hurt either....

    See there are many people out there, who are christians, but are strict....they are called Legalists.....they are the ones weak in faith, and so try harder to make GOD happy......and are scared to offend HIM more than the stronger in faith. They will translate "juice of the vine" to be "grape juice" how ever they fail to realize even that there were no refridgerators back then to preserve the juice except in alcohol form. Hence why, wine was a big thing back then. Why do you think Jesus even allowed HIMSELF to change water into wine? If HE was so against it morally, For HIS FATHER (GOD), HE wouldnt have done it. See abuse or endulgence in anything too far is what is sinful. not having a glass or 2 of wine, even to feel a little "glad". And yet, there are some who wont eat meat, and others will.

    But it's the ones who are stronger in thier faith, that are responsible not to offend the weaker ones, cause we would cause them to stumble and sin. Which would then be a big no-no wrong for us to do. It's like being responsible as an older brother or sister to take care of thier younger brother or sister and not get them into trouble with mom and dad. or in this case GOD. The ones who are responsible over others, are the ones that have to pay the piper for the ones under him/her for the trouble they get into...its even like that in the army. So we have to be careful, even with non-believers they have a supersitiousness about us, and even when they see me smoke, they're stunned or even shocked.....

    But as we all know, we all have our struggles, even as Chrsitians....and I did make a promise to GOD to quit smoking when I didnt need it anymore over my anxiety disorder, and when I wont need them, I'll be keeping my promise....and im still working on the swearing, but sometimes it isnt swearing, like as in verb form or adjective....but I will have the vocabulary to use some words to noun things.......It's a slang at that point (or mind virus LOL). meanwhile, take note, a promise to GOD has to be kept......HE keeps HIS so you keep yours....and never make promises that you cant keep, not even to swear that you will keep them, cause thats proof right there, that you wont. give you word simply as that, yes, I will, or no I wont.....but mean it....or youre purposely lying. not cool.

    Oh yeah, being Christian wisens up a person. Pray for me, that I can stop the actual use of bad niece, truth from the mouth of babes, kept on interrupting everyone of us including her mom, "bad word, bad word!!!" but surprisingly enough when I was telling her about Jesus Christ as LORD and SAVIOR she said, "thats a bad word".....well in essence HIS name is blasphemed alot, and its a know HIS name is taken in vain alot.....but I told her HIS name isnt a bad word, its wrong of people to swear using HIS name, but HIS name is GOOD cause HE'S a really great guy for being GOD'S only SON. That HE died so we could be saved from going to hell separated from GOD for eternity. (well I didnt tell a 5 year old that part),...but she'll clue in one day from someone, and I hope she does come to me so I can undo the bad programming from her kidding the things we get from school...blame it on the parents...the examples for their kids....supposed to be good examples too...well even then I learned that in french if phoque = seal (the animal) in french (sounds like the "f" word) is okay then I will be saying seal in french instead....anyway, nice try ***** but thats not how it turned out. Doh!!!! anyway, maybe I should reverse engineer the f word on myself. LOL

    okay done here....bye bye....

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