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Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Message Board

will this horror ever end???

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Old 10-21-2009, 12:46 PM   #1
Join Date: Oct 2009
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rufuss99 HB User
Unhappy will this horror ever end???

I have been having horrible thoughts for the last few months and I am starting to believe that I belong in a padded room, I have a beautiful son whom I love and I have a wonderful husband but lately i have had horrendous thoughts of hurting them physically......I hate them and it has left my life in ruins I cant forget these thoughts so much so that I am afraid to be on my own with my loved ones......I know I would never ever do such horrible evil things but the sheer thought has left me frozen and i feel trapped.......will this end???

I have been to see doctors and councellors nad it ahs helped alot but now its more of a case that i remember that i used to think this way and that starts the whole thing over again.

Am I evil? is this me? Is there anyone out there that can tell me that this will end??

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Old 10-21-2009, 02:19 PM   #2
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: IL, USA
Posts: 256
tulum HB Usertulum HB User
Re: will this horror ever end???

You are not evil. You are a good person. A therapist once told me that people who actually DO those things don't THINK about doing them and feel bad that they thought them. They just do them.

So you are fine. You are not evil, you just have unwanted thoughts.

Old 10-22-2009, 07:06 AM   #3
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 1
Vehement HB User
Re: will this horror ever end???

The thoughts aren't you, that's why they stick in your mind. I remind myself that it's anxiety that causes us to have these thoughts that don't make logical sense. Remember that OCD is your minds solution to anxiety and stress, it gets you obsessed with thoughts that scare you. What you have to try and do is work out what may be stressing you, and work towards relieving that stress somehow, and eventually the thoughts will subside, the thoughts themselves aren't the problem and can be anything you hate. You're not evil at all, as the previous post said you wouldn't be worried to death by the thoughts and fear them if you were. There is an end, it won't feel like it right now but there is. The great thing about the human mind is that it's great at forgetting bad times when you let it, getting through the hard times is obviously the hard part. A few years ago I went through some of the worst times in my life with OCD, and thought there was no way out. People sing about time being a healer, but with this I found it true, just hang in there.

Old 10-23-2009, 03:55 AM   #4
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 0
rufuss99 HB User
Re: will this horror ever end???

Thank you both for your kind words they have helped please keep them coming. thank you so much

Old 01-14-2010, 12:30 PM   #5
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 0
HeidiM HB User
Re: will this horror ever end???

I have been having the same problem and I get such anxiety out of it that I feel like I can't get out of bed. I feel ashamed and guilty for these thoughts and I just want them to go away. But since they are intrusive I can't stop them. I sometimes feel I may just go crazy but I do know that with help, whether it be meds or therapy will make these thoughts just subside.
Thanks for all of ur posts. I know I'm not alone in this. And that I'm not nutty.

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