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Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Message Board

Feeling like I am just a bad person!

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Old 11-02-2009, 07:30 AM   #1
Join Date: Oct 2009
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OCDjodie HB User
Feeling like I am just a bad person!

I believe and have been diagnosed with OCD all the my mind tells me that I am just using it as an excuse, and that I am just truly a terrible person.
About 6 years ago I was working as a nanny for the same family for two years. When all the sudden I started having terrible molestaion thoughts. It was so upsetting that I left my job. then I started avioding things where kids were and such. Then I became pregnant with are first daughter and i went into sever post partum and the thoughts were really bad again. I wanted to just die. then I had 2 and half years with my first daughter that were great and had no problems with these thoughts. And now after having my second I am in the same boat terrible thoughts and post partum. I feel like I can kinda control the thoughts in a since, by distracting my mind. But the hardest part is that my mind keeps telling me stupid things like, Oh you like the thoughts", "Your just a sick person". " You will act on these thoughts" All of these doubts and crude are breaking me down. I feel so frustrated and as a mother it is so hard. I love my girls so so so much and want to be here for them but I feel like everything I do I am scrutinzing. I hate having to change diapers or dress my oldest. So frustrating just a month ago I was able to get in the bath with my little one and now I dont even want to have to bathe her. Breaks my heart that this is effecting my relationships with my girls.
Anyone can relate? Please share with me how you are dealing?

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Old 11-17-2009, 07:25 AM   #2
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 1
scdteam HB User
Re: Feeling like I am just a bad person!

u gotta have patience me too have the same problem ! i can't stop thinkin all the day & these thoughts r very bad & painful then i told my family about this disorder & i went to doctor now im taking seroplex anafranil & stilnox to help to sleep without thinkin u know don't let OCD get u down try to practice any sport u like & don't hide ur problems u really need support as a wife thx

Last edited by scdteam; 11-17-2009 at 07:27 AM.

Old 01-14-2010, 12:14 PM   #3
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 0
HeidiM HB User
Re: Feeling like I am just a bad person!

I completely understand where you are coming from this. Although I am not a mother I've had terrible thoughts before as well. And that's all that it is. Thoughts. You would never act upon them. So you need to remember to tell urself that it is just ur OCD and that those thoughts will just fade away. Because they mean nothing.
Are you on any medication or talking to a therapist?

Old 02-09-2010, 09:56 AM   #4
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Cedarville, Ohio USA
Posts: 2
karalen HB User
Re: Feeling like I am just a bad person!

I too suffered with these types of thoughts, not molestation, but harming my children. Mine started after I had had two ectopic pregnancies 6 months apart, and then Andrea Yates drowned all four of her children. It is literally hell on earth. I believe it is post partum ocd, and it is all about your serotonin levels being low. Estrogen affects your serotonin levels monthly. I have been on prozac in the past, will go off ssri's for a good while, and then will start having the anxiety again. I am now on Paxil Cr. I have also had counseling when it first began. I HIGHLY recommend it because it really gave me tools. I too felt it harm my relationship with my daughters because of the extreme anxiety. My advice, talk to someone, exercise, get sunlight, and if a medication isn't working for you, change it. there are alot out there.!!!

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