It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Message Board

am I using ROCD as an excuse?

Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 12-21-2010, 04:10 AM   #1
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: sweden
Posts: 1
Ugglan HB User
am I using ROCD as an excuse?

Hi everyone, I dont know were to begin but I just found out about ROCD two days ago and it completly rang true for all my past relationships. The thing is that I dont know if I just had two bad relationships, if I am just confused or if I really have ROCD..
I've had two relationships so far and I'll give you a brief explanation of each hoping it may be of some use.

My first girlfriend was an old friend of mine for 4 years, then we became neihbours and a week after we got involved. I was soo happy and madly in love, but then a couple of days later I just got this heavy feeling in my stomach that I didnt love her and it actually made me feel sick at times. It just got worse and worse, untill the point that I broke up with her, only a week after we got together. I went away for the weekend to see some friends, and when I came back, I realized I hade made a huge misstake and that she was the love of my life so we got back together. A week later AGAIN I begun to have these very same feelings pop up. Now I thought that I was really in love with her sister (she came to visit the same week), and I saw all of the amazing quallities in her and I started to have this strong feeling of guilt that I was comparing the two of them and seeing her sister as a "beter version of her" and I freaked out and told my girlfriend that maybe I was in love with her sister cause I felt like I was lying to her. We broke up the same day, it was a real emotional mess...
We stayed friends and then a couple of months later I get back togehter with her AGAIN! Feeling the same thought, that I had made a huge misstake and left the love of my life. Then AGAIN after a couple of days, I get that heave feeling in my stomach that I maybe dont love here, it gets wors and worse and a week after I break up again...this time we didnt remain friends and she cut all the contact with me wich sent me down the road of depression

My second relationship, wich I am still in now. It took on almost the EXACT same pattern! First couple of weeks I was madly in love, then we both starded school in different cites and it turned into a long-distance relationship. First couple of times we saw eachother on the weekends was amazing but then as she left to get back to her school, and Im all alone, I started to feel the same feelings as before, I felt like I wasnt in love, like I was lying to her. I again started to compare my relationship to others, comparing my girlfriend with other women and obsessing about all of the amazing women that was out there and that I hade picked the wrong one pecause I was scared to be alone...and I thought that if I felt these feelings that it was my obligation to DO SOMETHING about it, because it shouldnt feel this way in a relationship. I had these terrible feelings every hour of every day to the point I finally convinced my self that I must end it and did so after we had been together for 4 months (over a long distance). I couldnt give her a good explanation to why I was ending it except that I "wasnt feeling it anymore". After I went home that day I broke down, I was so depressed that I hade broke her heart and a couple of hours later I realized that I had made a huge misstake. I went to her place and talked with her and I made up an excuse to what I now realize might be ROCD, I told her that I was afraid of all the pressure that I felt that I had to know if she was "the one". After that talk, we got back together, and the first week went allright, then hell broke loose again and now I feel completely out of love and that heavy feeling in my stomach is probably again here to stay...

The things that makes me question if this is really ROCD is:
-I dont believe I have OCD
-When I go into the “I-dont-love-her-mode” I cant snap out of it and it just keeps on going
-I really feel during these times that Im with the wrong person and that I would be happier with someone els
-In my mind I seem to have really logical explanations for everything thats happening
-I might just been having two realationships that werent right
-Im just a bad guy that is unable to stand by his descisions and is afraid to be alone

this is a real ****** mess in my head and I would be very greatfull if someone could help me

Last edited by Ugglan; 01-04-2011 at 10:27 AM.

The following user gives a hug of support to Ugglan:
blackrockoar16 (03-18-2011)
Sponsors Lightbulb
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Rocd alex893 Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) 1 01-12-2011 10:19 PM
Rocd help PLEASE alex893 Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) 7 09-09-2010 12:22 AM
suffering ROCD lozzy85 Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) 38 09-01-2010 12:35 PM
HELP! I don't know holding on or letting go is the best for my ROCD BF. pcrybaby Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) 6 08-03-2010 02:09 PM
Should I tell/do I have to tell my boyfriend about ROCD? tacosalad Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) 9 07-30-2010 06:28 AM
ROCD - How to Help your partner? partneroflove Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) 1 07-22-2010 11:28 AM
Does my boyfriend have ROCD and what should I do? kpajtas Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) 1 01-22-2010 05:10 AM
ROCD Married with kids zippyb Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) 12 01-05-2010 01:47 PM


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

Sign Up Today!

Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

I want my free account

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:41 AM.

Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
© 1998-2018 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!