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Old 02-20-2011, 08:36 PM   #1
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Chicago, Il, USA
Posts: 2
kristina252 HB User

i have been dealing with ocd for four years.
Just recently it has gotten to the point where I cannot function as a human being. I am a health care worker, i feel that I carry germs home on my clothes and shoes. my big issue is hiv. i have myself convinced that it is everyhwere, even though i am educated enough to know better. I feel like the hiv follows me in to my home and is on my floors. I cannot shower, i cannot put on underwear without fear that hiv will ocme into contact with my mucous membranes. If anyone has been through anything like this please contact me, help needed.

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Old 04-19-2011, 07:48 PM   #2
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Everett, Wa. USA
Posts: 10
ocd21 HB User
Cool Re: help!

Hi - If you have had ocd 4 years and have been under a doctors care for it,
you should apply for disability benifits. I did and was awarded benifits after
working 8 years with the condition and just could not get through the day anymore. The process can take a while but if it's documented, it is a qualifying desiese. At the time I had the exact form of OCD (fear of HIV)
this was in 1991 and it took 6 months (incubation period at that time) for
blood results to be 85% accurate. That 6 months was the worst time of my life and I almost did not make it. It was so bad that I thought everything was
contaminated and could not put a thing in my mouth! I didn't even know what ocd was or that I had it. In that short time (6 months) I quit smoking with out never even giving it a thought. I dropped 80 pounds, and by the time I was finally diagnosed, the OCD and severe chemical depression was so severe that they put me in the hospital so I could be monitered while they filled me with Anafranil. That was 21 years ago and it has never gone away! I have been on every ocd med and the only thing that changes from time to time is the intencity levels. Don't let it get too far because your depleting brain chemicals and if you deplete too much seritonin (thats when I understand) you will spiral into a chemical depression and that is the most terrifying experience I have ever had. Good luck to you Kristina.

Last edited by ocd21; 04-19-2011 at 07:50 PM.

Old 04-19-2011, 11:26 PM   #3
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 28
Eyes2thesky HB UserEyes2thesky HB UserEyes2thesky HB UserEyes2thesky HB User
Re: help!

Hey there, first, I'm so sorry you're going through this. I never had an issue with HIV (yet, I'm sure I will given the time haha) but for some reason my issue was with herpes. For some reason, nothing freaked me out more than the idea of contracting herpes. I would check all the time (never saw anything, I'm not even sexually active right now!) It got to the point where I was too scared to even look down in the shower and I washed my hands like my life depended on it because I was scared I some how had it and would spread it to other people through touching. I would cross my arms, not touch people, I made numerous doctors apointments for them to check to make sure. Nothing was ever found. Just wanted to tell you, cleaning doesnt matter, if you had HIV, you would already have it. Also, HIV doesnt mean you're even going to die soon. That doesnt happen until AIDS virus sets in which could take many years. I know I could clearly explain everything about how the cleaning and ritualizing makes no logical sense but it wouldnt make it all stop. Sometimes it helps me to laugh about this stuff, so please feel free to laugh about my plight with the fear of getting herpes of all things. You are definitely not alone. I know this stuff just freaks us out! But its not real. Thats the great part. Feel better soon. I would maybe buy a book about ocd with tactics to calm yourself down while at work?

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